Update since yesterday...

by scaredyetresolved 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • scaredyetresolved
    scaredyetresolved

    I shared the board with my husband last night. He read my post and the replies. We both really appreciate all of your words. We also both appreciated the point made that said something to the affect of, when using the boards, to take what we need and leave the rest. That is what we did.

    My husband and I, along with our one child that is baptised, all feel strongly that we will most likely disassociate ourselves in the near future. None of us feel like doing any pretending. We've done that for far too long and anything that is even remotely similar to a lie is not the way we want to live our lives. We want to live in truth and love, with our heads held high. We also don't want to leave with anger being our main emotion. I think we just want to feel pity for those that are still entrapped and hope they soon will come to their senses.

    Why disassociate rather than disfellowship? Because we feel WE will be making our stand loud and clear. That is important to us. We do NOT want to give anyone else the power to make the decision that we need to be separated from the Organization for us, like through the elders deciding we need to be disfellowshipped. We know if we present all the info that has helped us to make our decision, it won't get read, so we aren't going to include it. Just a very short letter to the point ("After an in-depth study of the Watchtower Societys history and its development..."). We want to be able to get on with our lives and do whatever we end up doing without feeling it needs to be done in secrecy or the wondering if we will get "caught". I hope this makes sense! If someone in our family or circle of friends insists on reasons why, we will be happy to meet with them and present the facts. Otherwise, we are going to request "live and let live."

    I will let you know what is going on with all of this when I can. Right now we are waiting until after the holidays and after we give ourselves a bit of time to digest everything. We aren't going to observe Christmas this year, but we are going to have a late birthday party for our littlest one this weekend. We set a budget last night and will be going to buy all the presents and decorations this evening. When I asked the little one about if they'd like a birthday party, they replied they wanted a Scooby Doo cake with candles on it and we sing "Happy Birthday"! So that's what they'll get. Scooby Doo all the way! This all feels so good and so right. We'll just be glad when the rest of the family/friends know and we can have that one last weight off our shoulders!

  • BadJerry
    BadJerry

    Was going to give you lots of advice, but you appear to have it under control, so I'll just wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Have a fun time with your new life and stick around, this is a great place to relieve the tensions of the day, the world and the past...

  • freedom96
    freedom96

    Sounds like you have made the best decision for your family. Best wishes to you, and hope that it goes as smoothly as can be. Hopefully family and friends will hear you out beforehand.

    I would suggest that you make it well known that you still have your door open to them, if they want to call or visit, that your friendships are that, friendships. And you are not leaving them, just the organization.

    Even if they are not ready to take that step yet, one day maybe they will. You just never know.

  • LB
    LB

    I'm glad things are working out for you. It took me almost 3 years of fading before I DAed myself. We all go at our own pace. Don't forget, Christmas decorations are 50% off the day after Christmas. You may want to prepare yourself for next year

  • scaredyetresolved
    scaredyetresolved

    Freedom, Thanks sooo much for the advice on making it known that we are not leaving friendships or family, we are only leaving the Organization. Wow. VERY important point we will want to make sure to include. Again, THANK YOU!

    ROTFLOL LB! I was just doing all my couponing and going through the sales ads for shopping this weekend. I am a true bargain hound, frugal being my middle name. As I was scanning the ads and noticing the sales on Christmas decor, I thought what a great idea it would be to go grab a bunch at the day after Christmas sales, then I come read your reply! Great minds think alike!

    Jerry, Don't know if we have things under control so much as we just have a game-plan. Thanks for your support and the encouragement to stick around.

  • Marcos
    Marcos

    Congratulations and Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday(s), etc.

    I am truly happy for you. Majorly impressed that the 3 baptized ones in the family are in agreement.

    You sound like a great family. Know that there are many of us who have never lost our faith in the True God. I know I feel that I came out of spiritual darkness instead of the reverse. My only advice is to not throw the baby out with the bathwater. Keep what was good and true in their teachings - there are many truths. There have to be because for the lies to be believeable there must be truth (although twisted sometimes) to back them up.

    Enjoy your new freedom.

    Marcos

  • Windchaser
    Windchaser

    Very best wishes to you and your family!

    Love,
    Dottie

  • Country Girl
    Country Girl

    Good for you! Congratulations on arriving at a very sensible and no nonsense course of action. You sure got it all under control girl! I hope your little one has a very wonderful Scooby birthday and that you have many Merry Christmasses to come!

    Country Girl

  • Elsewhere
  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu

    Best wishes to you & your family! Let us know how the first birthday party goes. It's great to see an entire family leaving behind an organization full of control and corruption. Take care and good health to all of you :)

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