Love & Dating

stefanieroe

I need someones advice on dating a JW when Im not a believer. I've just recently met him, lets call him Chad, and he was the most amazing person Ive ever met. He was easy to talk to and funny, sweet, gorgeous. Im only young and hes 18 so its not like I want to marry him but my family has warned me away from Jehovahs and Ive heard their very strict on sex before marriage and dating non believers. I know you shouldnt believe all you hear but I just want to know about how often they go to meetings and if they can change. Is it worth me getting involved and how can I tell if he will try and change me? Help please!

ugg

run for you life,,,,,you have no idea the pain you are in for if you pursue this...i am NOT EXAGERATING in any way....you life will be hell,,,please believe this...it will be a mistake that will or can haunt you for the rest of your life....it is not a game...PLEASE please run and don't look back..

stefanieroe

y do u say this ugg? u must explain why, otherwise i cant say. the attraction between us is so strong that im not too sure if i can run away

ugg

how old are you steph??????????????????????????????

stefanieroe

im only 17 so im not looking to settle down but I really like him and dont know how he feels.

DakotaRed

Stef, unless he is on the fringes of JWdom, you can forget any sexual contact at all. That is verbotten! Their main goal is to convert you to being a JW and subject you to the religion. They usually have 3 meeting a week, consisting of 5 hours total and weekend service, (going door to door) for at least the morning on Saturdays. If he is out of school, he is being encouraged to "pioneer," or, be a full time door to door preacher.

Personally, I would find another guy, unless this one is leaving the religion.

Lew W

stefanieroe

Are there not any common grounds on which we could both stand and be equals without swaying each other. Were both young and would enjoy the company. What would the parents do about this?

Gopher

Like Dakota Red said, unless he is on the very fringe of the JW organization, he fully believes (or has been indoctrinated to believe) that his job is to try to help everyone he knows become a JW. This will eventually include you too, even if he's not emphasizing that right now.

Their people are trained to treat you kindly and with love as long as you don't resist their form of religion. But if you ever show that you don't want to study to become a JW, you'll get the cold shoulder if not him than from his relatives.

So if he is a serious (or even semi-serious) JW he will eventually try to "sway" you his way. He will think your life is at stake. So that's the reason for the zeal (some would call it fanaticism). There's no room to "agree to disagree" in any relationship/friendship with a JW.

His parents (if JW) will view you as "bad association" who could eventually lead their son away from the one-and-only-true-religion.

I feel for you!!

Edited by - Gopher on 22 December 2002 13:34:12

stefanieroe

Thanx for all your replies. I have been taught well and have listened. We will sit back and see wat happens. I will keep the friendship and maybe speak to him about the religion, he will soon know that I am not willing to become a believer and if he gives me the cold shoulder then so be it, its his loss!!! Anyway, I will keep you all posted. If there is anymore information you can share then please let me know. email address is [email protected]

Cheers Stefanie

Gopher

Stefanie

Good for you! You're a real quick study!! (Some posts similar to yours go for days on end, with the "I can change him/her" theme being debated. Of course you must know how unrealistic that is!!)

What your friend "Chad" needs to see (and hopefully is open to seeing) is that happy, normal people, even Christian ones, exist in the world outside the Watchtower-world. And if he ever decides to come out, he'll need friends like you to support his exit. But of course if he is determined to stay a JW, then of course you gotta do what you gotta do and live your life to its fullest.

Best wishes to you.

Love & Dating

Share this