I Love a JW

stefanieroe

I need help. i am a non believer but am very interested in dating a jW. We've never discussed the religion but he is the nicest person ive ever met. I need information on where they have meetings and when. How do they travel round to visit door to door and would he be interested in me? He is 18 but his parents are strict, will they allow us together?Please help

ugg

deepest sympathies.....do not get involved with a religion you know NOTHING about....

Celia

Oh, brother, here we go again....

Stefanie, He's 18, and you are? You say : I am a non-believer.... You mean you are atheist, or you are not a Jehovah's Witness? Why do you need information on where they have their meetings and when ? You want to go ? Why don't you ask your JW boyfriend? If he comes from a strict JW family, no, he will not be interested in you. And even if he is, his parents will make sure that he changes his mind. If he really likes you and wants the relationship to continue, he will have to try to convert you. Then a life of misery will start for you....

Edited by - Celia on 22 December 2002 12:29:36

stefanieroe

thank you for all your replies. I do not want to convert I am not a JW I am a Christian. I am 17 years old. I have never met his family but they havent got a television so i presume they are strict but he is allowed out to pubs and clubs so im confused.

Valis

stephamie...he could be the nicest young man in the world as any Jehovahs Witness has the potential to be but here's the problem. When you get them all together to practice their faith they end up hurting people. Even their own family members. Before you get involved with him you might want to ask yourself these simple questions.

1. Do I want to give up celebrating holidays?

2. Do I want to give up the right to a potentially life saving blood transfusion based on a teaching in the Bible?

3. Would I want to give up my children's right to the same? Even if it meant they would die without it?

4. Do I want to give up the right to vote?

5. Do I want to give up the right to sing my national anthem or salute my flag?

6. Do I want to ever consider everyone else who is not a JW "worldly" and a bad association, excluding them from being a part of my life?

7. Do I want to become a JW and consider my family "worldly" and a bad association, excluding them from being a part of my life?

8. Do I want to go to church 3 times a week?

9. Do I want to go round knocking on my neighbors doors peddling magazines early Saturday morn?

10. Do you want to give up any hope of following my dreams, going to college, or becoming whatever and whoever my potential will allow?

If you answer NO to any one of these questions then my humble suggestion would be for you to go find one a nice young man who isn't affiliated with a crackpot religion. Oh and welcome to the board.

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

stefanieroe

I understand what you are saying but what if I stayed in my own religion and just had a laugh with him. He doesnt seem like he is very strict with his religion and never really talks about it. Are they devious enough to brainwash or get you on their side first?

DakotaRed

Stef, as I said in your other thread, you would be better off forgetting this guy, unless he is leaving the religion. JWs do not believe in casual dating, just for laughs. To them it is strictly for marriage and the man is considered total boss, especially after the "I do's." Much of their converting is done very subtlely, so as to not scare a possible convert away.

If you consider yourself a Christian, your whole belief system will change and you will be "taught" that you were raised wrong. If you become a JW, you will be required to minimize contact with your "Christian" family, unless they too convert. If, after being one and married, which will be the goal of his dating you, and you decide to leave the religion, or even if he does, you will be required to shun him, or he you and so will any children you may have. Your life will be centered around study of Watchtower literature and all other literature will be discouraged, especially using the internet.

Sex will be regulated by the Watchtower too. Oral and such is forbidden, although a few do it anyway. You will be required to give "the marriage due" when he pleases. You will have to do as he says, otherwise, you will not be considered a good wife. Marriage is the sole reason for a JW dating and they are encouraged to date only within the religion. Casual sex is strictly forbidden and he faces expulsion and shunning of he goes along with any.

Your attraction will pass with this guy, but the lifetime of pain you will get if you stay involved will last forever.

Lew W

NewLight2

Here are some links for you that will give you more than enough information about Jehovah's Witnesses.

JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES: A CRITICAL ANALYSIS
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Parthenon/7831/

Shaun's Research on the Jehovah's Witnesses
(Site Contains Photo Documentation )
http://www.jwfiles.com/index.htm

My home page - Has lots of links to valuable information
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Troy/5385/Links1.html

jgnat

I bet you have been puzzled, stefanroe, that this good, sweet young man behaves so strictly in some areas, yet lets loose in others. This is not unique amongst JW's. Whereas you as a Christian try and behave well because God is watching all the time, most JW's are far more afraid of being caught doing "wrong" by their own brothers and sisters. Your young man is far more concerned about looking good when they are watching. For you, doing right is on the foundation of loving God and loving your neighbour. For you, consequences of sin is separation from God, remedied by going to Him alone and asking forgiveness. For a JW, doing right is a complex maze of rules and regulations, based on the foundation of obeying the "Faithful and Discreet Slave". Consequences for breaking these rules is disfellowshipment, which includes separation from family and friends. The only remedy is to come begging back to the society and months of extra study. FYI, here are some disfellowshipping offences:

Smoking
Taking a blood transfusion
Fornication
Bad mouthing the Faithful and Discreet Slave, or even doubting that they are the exclusive mouthpeice for Jehovah
Putting up Christmas lights or a Christmas tree

Note there is no distinction between "sins". Any of these carry the same weight of punishment. If this young man agrees to see you, he will be doing it behind his parent's back. It will have to be on a night he does not have study or field work. That means he is free only three evenings a week. He will lie to his parents about where his is going and what he is doing. You will not be able to visit him in his home. You will have to be very selective of the movies you go to. I doubt he would line up to watch Harry Potter, in case a member of the congregation comes by. He will likely be very uncomfortable holding your hand in the mall or other public places where he might run in to a member of the congregation. If you are remembered on Valentine's day, your birthday, or any other special event, he will do it in secret. It will be nearly impossible to have him over on Halloween, Thanksgiving or Christmas, because the congregation will be extra vigilant on those days.

Hey, you are young, curious, and interested in people. This fella may look interesting but he is really more work than he is worth.

concerned mama

Welcome to the board, stephanroe. Jgnat and others have given you some very good information. Here is another site you may find interesting. http://members.aol.com/beyondjw/inlove.htm

To an ordinary person such as you or I, dating casually is a good way to get to know someone, and part of growing up and learning about yourself. He is not supposed to date unless he is looking for a wife, so his very concept of what dating is for , may be different than yours. If you found you got along well, he could become serious quickly, more serious than you want or expect, because to him, that is the right thing to do. With the serious relationship comes so many more of the complications you have read about.

My daughter, who was younger than you, had a very nice JW boyfriend, but at a certain point it just didn't work. Too many serious cultural differences. He was young and trapped.

Try using the search feature on the forum using "boyfriend" or "girlfriend", and read what has happened to so many others.

concerned mama

I Love a JW

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