Now that I am DA'ed.....

Lapuce

Well Dec 17 is the first day that I finally got out of the Borg, thanks for all your help in making me see the real world.

I wrote my letter after many arguements with my highly fanatic JW wife of which I think divorce will probally follow as has been witnessing to me ever since my doubts 2 years ago. Ok so its hard, no firends, well at least I do have a few here

I wrote the letter last saturday, after the elders tried to reason with me, saying I should think of my two boys, yes I told them, I will do my best to make them well aware of the ways of the watchtower, as it destroyed my life.9 Years of marriage, and now 35, its time to enjoy life instead of wasting it with the borg.

Only if I hadn't fallen in love with a witness 10 years ago....

I will at last celebrate my first X-mas in 10 years.... My family thought I would never come back, too bad my father died 4 years ago, I know he would have been very happy...

Lapuce

Scully

Welcome to freedom Lapuce!

Some of us - like you - have taken back your lives and chosen to declare your freedom from the WTS by giving them a letter. Others - like me - are seeing themselves subjected to "new light" and organizational policy where elders are sent on search and destroy missions during the month of December to find which inactive JWs are celebrating Christmas. The results are the same.

Keep putting your thoughts here - it's hard to rebuild your life after cutting off your friends and family for such a long time - we'll be happy to help you with that. It sounds like your relatives will be thrilled to enjoy the holidays with you. Oh and don't give in to Mrs. Lapuce - you can take the children with you to enjoy the season with your family and give them a taste of freedom too. You can still be a good provider and terrific husband, she'll have a hard time finding a lawyer to represent her in a divorce. Imagine: "I want a divorce because my husband quit being a JW. He celebrates Christmas now! My kids can have fun now! He doesn't beat me, he doesn't gamble, he doesn't drink, he doesn't cheat on me, and he's a good provider and father; but this Christmas thing - well that's just too much for me to bear!!"

If Mrs. Lapuce is smart (and she'd have to be to marry you!) she'll realize she has the best of two worlds now.

Love, Scully

LovesDubs

La La :) I think we are as crazy coming out as we were going IN dont you think? NaziJws who should have been put in a closet for the first year until we got a bit less ZEALOUS about everything :) My husband did the crying, accusing, screaming, more accusing, hateful approach to me for a couple years trying to ramrod me back into the "troof"....but he finally realized I had probably already FORGOTTEN more than he already knows about his own religion, and he backed off. But that thing that WALL is always there between us. We are having to live around it. Trying to ignore the elephant in the family room, if you will.

I hope your Christmas is wonderful sweetie...when I was still a Nazi JW, I lost my dear sister and my neice and nephew and four years because my constant badgering them about how holy I was and how they needed to be holy too, forced my sister to cut me off from her. And I gladly LEFT for the sake of the TROOF doncha know. But when I left the Borg, I sent her a fax and begged her forgivenesss...and they took me back with open arms, and that first Christmas after I DAd was one of the the sweeeeeeetest things I ever experienced. Even tho I had to do Christmas alone with my kids...we did it. :)

Merry Christmas!

Edited by - LovesDubs on 22 December 2002 16:47:45

Pleasuredome

well done Lapuce, all the best to you. things may not be easy for a couple of years, hopefully it'll all settle well for you.

Mary

Lapuce said: I wrote my letter after many arguements with my highly fanatic JW wife of which I think divorce will probally follow as has been witnessing to me ever since my doubts 2 years ago

And what scriptural grounds will she be using for the divorce? If or when she tells you she wants a divorce, hand her the bible and ask her to show you where the scriptural grounds are.....

Amazing how the elders will probably fully support your wife's divorce from an "apostate" even though there's no scriptural grounds for it, but they tell women to stay with husbands who beat the shit out of them.

Sentinel

Welcome here and congratulations. Your life is now yours again, to live freely and honestly, in tune with your heart's desire. This is a good and positive thing.

No doubt you will have some fairly large obsticals to overcome. Losing your mate in divorce will be something to work through, but not the end of the world. This is what the JW's do to people...they separate mates and ruin marriages. Get a good attorney. Be wise.

That's why whenever I see a post from a young person who says they are interested in a JW guy or gal, I cringe. I know what emotional issues are present now, but on down the road, those could be quadrupled. JW's do their damage in the most subtle ways, the affects of which are never ending.

You have an opportunity now to rebuild your life. You will still be able to have a relationship with your children and teach them balanced thinking and reasoning. It is sad that your marriage is the price you pay. But, sounds like you do have other family that will be very happy to have you a part of their life again!

Be happy! Follow your heart. Time will heal your wounds. We are all here to help.

NewLight2

Why not join a "hobby club" of some type, whatever you are interested in - ski, baseball, football, hunting, etc - That way making new friends is a lot easier because you all have a common interest. Just let the friendships develop in their own time frame. There is no need to rush into anything. Go to the gatherings, talk and go home again. In time you will have friends and you won't even know exactly when it happened.

Another thought:

If you divorce, your wife will most likely get custody of your 2 children unless you can argue that the JW lifestyle will hurt your children. So make sure you get an attorney that is specialized in
cult custody battles. Joint custody will not work as the JW MOM will see to it that her children are raised JW.

NewLight2

You are welcome here and will not be shunned here. You will find the care and support you need to rebuild your life.

Your Sister,

ESTEE_TX

Now that I am DA'ed.....

Lapuce

Scully

LovesDubs

Pleasuredome

Mary

Sentinel

NewLight2

SheilaM

SheilaM

ESTEE

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