Well, this is how you do it according to the Bible, and, by implication, Jehovah's witnesses too:
- Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours. (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)
- Find a prostitute and marry her. (Hosea 1:1-3)
- Find a man with seven daughters and impress him by watering his flock. (Moses--Exodus 2:16-21)
- Purchase a piece of property and get a woman as part of the deal. (Boaz--Ruth 4:5-10)
- Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. (Judges 21:19-25)
- Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. But be careful; it'll cost you a rib (Adam--Genesis 2:19-24)
- Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman, then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right. Fourteen years of hard labour for a wife. (Jacob--Genesis 29:15-30)
- Cut 200 foreskins off the enemies of your future father-in law and get his daughter in exchange. (David--1 Samuel 18:27)
- Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll find someone. Maybe even your sister. (Cain--Genesis 4:16-17)
- Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. (Xerxes--Esther 2:3-4)
- When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a woman I like. Now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me." (Samson--Judges 14:1-3)
- Kill any husband and take his wife. (David--2 Samuel 11)
- Wait for your brother to die, then take his widow. It's not just a good idea; it's the law. (Deuteronomy and Leviticus, example of Boaz in Ruth)
- Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity. (Solomon--1 Kings 11:1-3)
- A wife?...NOT! (Paul--1 Corinthians 7:32-35)
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