You can disagree with someone without being rude. Human compassion is becoming more and more rare...it's really sad when you feel a need to belittle someone.When I am guilty of it ...it's usually because I don't feel too good about myself.
Tolerance
by Xena 38 Replies latest jw friends
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xenawarrior
Great post Xena!!!
XW
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Adam
I hear ya loud and clear Xena. I find that it is usually those with the loudest voices proclaiming open mindedness and tollerence who are the most narrow and unaccepting of contrary opinions. If you say that you don't want your child to turn out gay, you are simply stating a truthful viewpoint, but many "open minded" people will immediatly start calling you a homophobic redneck and brand you with a plethora of steryotypes and stigmas, the very things they accuse others of doing. My Dad's girlfriend is one of those "enlightened," Birkenstok-wearing, make-up shunning women and considers herself very open minded. When I was single, I would talk to my dad about my dating life in blunt and honest terms saying things like "this chick was so stupid" and "this honey coulda used a bit of a boob job, but aside from that she was smokin!" From those early days, I have been labled a chauvanist in her mind and will be forever unable to change it. I have been called names and had negative assumptions made about me on this board for simply stating my opinion, often by people who call themselves as open minded, when a simple statement of disagreement would have sufficed. I think the most basic reaction in human nature to ideas that contrast with our own is to be afraid of them and to attack them, but that what makes us civilized is the acceptance of differing ideas, even though we may not agree with them. Personaly, I believe that religion nurtures the more basic reaction and not the civilized one.
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expatbrit
beliefs that hurt no one.
Such beliefs are rather rare.
Expatbrit
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JamesThomas
Xena,
Your not alone on this one.
You may appreciate my introduction post from last Saterday if you missed it. It's an attempt to explain some of our intolerence.
JamesT
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Xena
LT - Great Minds indeed I have always respected your tolerance you are a great role model in this area.
HS - Thank you, I found your comparison somewhat unsettling, probably because it is so apt...
Nikita - Thank you, I guess old habit die hard, yes? I know I still find myself fighting them and as you stated being judgemental was a big part of our lives for a very long time.
Shutterbug - I appreciate your concern for others and there is nothing wrong with responding or questioning, but if you want answers it might help if you just ask questions instead of mocking or belittling. Did you just ask reporter about her post?
Beans - Thank you, and as you brought out the key to getting someone to think about their beliefs is to discuss it with them in a reasonable manner. No one likes to feel that they have been duped. Personally I think the key is to respect the individual even if you don't necessarly respect or agree with their beliefs.
Moe - I was suprised at your reaction to reporters post, you have always struck me as a tolerant open minded person. In reading her post I didn't find she was advocating a belief in aliens (although that would be her right to believe also) but simply advancing a theory and showing some comparison between it and the JW's. But regardless if you did feel this person was mentally unstable why would you want to mock them or make fun of them? What purpose would that serve?
Matty - I think we all "fall over" this subject sometimes, human nature and all that being what it is, but as you stated if you really want to get thru to someone regarding a belief they have being abusive to them isn't gonna work!
freedom - You are right, we are all different and have our strengths and weaknesses, but does that mean we should just accept who and what we are not not try to continue to grow?
larc - "let your utterances always be seasoned with salt"?
Ruby - I hope you aren't right about human compassion, but I guess the only way to do something about it is to recognize the problem and go from there...starting with ourselves
XW - Thank you
Adam - Interesting post. You are right, being open minded means allowing others to have differing opinions even when they are ones we might find repugnant to us personally. Of course if you feel someones belief is wrong or hurtful you can discuss it with them and disagree with them, but as others stated you are more likely to get a good response if you address the belief or idea and not the person and treat them with respect and dignity. Name calling acomplishes nothing.
Expat - I disagree, but you are entitled to your opinion
James - Welcome to the forum and thank you for the link Very insightful post James, you are right about the "programming". I guess we are all in different stages of our journey....
Thank you all for taking the time to respond to my post We have such an interesting and diverse group of people that post here...JW's, exJW's, non JW's, athiests, agnostics, christians, pagans, housewives, teachers, nurses, accountants, computer programmers, writers, artists...it is so eclectic and we have so much to learn from each other, I just hate to see anyone shut down or intimidated from sharing....you know?
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breeze
Beliefs are superficial.....
Beliefs are not real and can change manytimes in our lives....
I hate that people all over the world choose to make life altering and sometimes life ending choices over beliefs...
Tolerance should be shown for all....regardless of status....even the most far out ones...most things can't be explained and there is no reason for us to take a stand totally against someone because of their beliefs...
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SixofNine
Sorry, I'm traveling, otherwise, I'd be mixing it up with you idiots who think differently than me.
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MrMoe
Moe - I was suprised at your reaction to reporters post, you have always struck me as a tolerant open minded person. In reading her post I didn't find she was advocating a belief in aliens (although that would be her right to believe also) but simply advancing a theory and showing some comparison between it and the JW's. But regardless if you did feel this person was mentally unstable why would you want to mock them or make fun of them? What purpose would that serve?
Xena, you are right, I am sorry to have sounded mean. Just really struck my funny bone, and well, I am very blunt and up front, that will never change. I feel bad if I came across as judging this person, but sheesh come ON, that is one weird take on Jehovah - a space renegade cannibal running around in a UFO belonging to a reptile race... Open minded? No, not really when it comes to fantasy deemed reality. In case you were not aware, I am basically an atheist now, which is a major difference from just a few short months ago. So the possibility of Alien reptile cannibal races that play God and ghosts and deeminz and things that go bump in the night sounds so mentally unstable to me now it is not even funny. Not say I don't want to believe, and not saying part of me doesn't pull to think there is something more to it all, but for me to envision all of what was brought up by reporter sounded on the fringe of total and utter insanity and to be rather frank, made me laugh my butt off
Where do you draw the line between being in touch with reality and being insane? I mean, to mask it all under the heading of religion or spirituality is all fine and dandy... but paranoid and delusional are still paranoid and delusional.
Anyhow, my excuses aside I am sorry if I came off as harsh. Didn't mean to be that way, I was just joking around, and I won't change my sense of humor for anybody ever.
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Xena
I'm not gonna lie Moe, it sounds a bit outlandish to me too....but you know I think back and remember sitting in the bookstudy...I think we were probably studying the "Creation" book....and I remember laughing at the thought of people actually believing in the theory of evolution...based on the information I had at that time the idea was ludicrous....outlandish even The fact that you were able to make the jump to athiesm from hhhmmm weren't you pagan?? Sorry I don't remember, but anyway, it shows you have an open mind to new things and ideas, so why let it stop there?
Breeze, isn't it funny how intolerant we can be of others beliefs that can't be explained but tolerant of our own?
Six, we do not tolerate your kind around here