pettygrudger

by shera 26 Replies latest jw friends

shera

Hi,I wanted to ask you a question about autism.I'm sure it is you that has a son with autism.Sorry if I have you mistaken...
I am having an extremly hard time keeping clothes on my son,and he is getting older.This has been stressing me out lately,because one day he is going to be a teen ,than a man........sighhhhh. I talk to his phycr.(sp ) and nothing seems to work.Do you have any ideas what to do? Do you have hard times with this?He is just about to be eight.
Thanks
Info from anyone who knows what they are talking about,please......
Take care
shera

I'm going to bump this once in awhile...
going to bed now..nite everyone.don't let the bedbugs bite if they do than beat em with ur shoe..lol(yep I'm tired)
pettygrudger

Does he do it all the time or only when certain types of clothing are used? Usually this is an indication of a "sensory" problem - kind of like how some people can't stand "wool" clothing or something of that nature. Some of our little guys are so sensitive to certain fabrics that they prefer to remain naked (my son was one). It also could be a "behavioral" issue - a way to let you know he isn't happy about something in his environment (i.e. my son used to "strip" every time he could get away with it - even in public department stores!). I finally figured out that he needed more frequent "brushings" - do you do this technique? If so, do it more often - it sounds as if this may help the problem.
If it is the behavior - study for awhile (i know its hard) to see when he does it (time of day, certain clothes, whats going on in the environment etc.) Chart & you may see a pattern develop. If so, remove the "reward" for his behavior, and the situation should improve (even if the "reward" seems negative - our guys can confuse it at times).
There are other suggestions, but first try these as usually its one of these 2 things. Let me know what you find out - and feel free to email me privately anytime.
Editted to add - will add more tommorrow as I need some sleep myself
Edited by - pettygrudger on 31 December 2002 0:2:6
Gizmo

Shera the person you want to talk to this about is U_R here is here email...she has a son with autism.
[email protected]
Good luck
pettygrudger

I couldn't sleep without telling you of this technique that has worked with Nick....Its based on ABA therapy & it would go something like this..
#1 - Hopefully your son has a favorite "treat" - take it away for a couple of days (stall, substitute, whatever you have to do)
#2 - when you're ready to begin, reinforce the "positive" (i.e. keeping clothes on) by "catching" him doing it right (every 10 minutes, every 20 etc.). Reward him by giving him a treat (i.e. 1/4 candy bar, couple of skittles - whatever the reward - just not the "normal" amount). This may mean he gets nothing to eat but the treat for the first day or 2 - but don't worry - you will gradually reduce the rewards (from every 10 minutes to every hour, etc. etc.).
#3 - at the same time - if he does get naked IMMEDIATELY remove whatever he is doing (i.e. if he's watching t.v. - turn it off & say "sorry - naked boys can't watch t.v.; if he's playing with his toy - remove the toy - doesn't matter if he plays with another one - if he gets naked again - remove that toy too until there are NO toys ). Once he's put back on his clothes - immediately return the toy he was most interested in playing with with praise (that's great nick - your dressed!).
#4 - with this technique - there is absolutely no "punitive" lecturing or punishment. All is to be done as if you couldn't care less.......and any temper tantrums that ensue are TOTALLY ignore (he's not even in the room - you can't hear a word he's saying or scream - your reading or whatever). This sounds "stupid" - but in reality it REALLY WORKS. Eventually they learn that temper tantrums do not get them anything and they stop throwing the temper tantrums since it doesn't do them any good.
Do not worry that he will become expectent of a reward - it doesn't happen as you gradually reduce the "reward" - eventually it just becomes part of his normal life and He won't become reliant on rewards.
It takes ALOT of consistency here, but the therapy is sound for all individuals - not just those with autism. I find I use it with my other son as well - ignoring bad behavior while removing the reward for said behavior, but constantly finding the "good" stuff & strongly praising it. Sounds funny I know - but I can tell you it works. We have settled many behavioral worries with this technique (nakedness, smearing feces, temper tantrums etc. are just a few).
Xandria

Exactly, I had a student who we would transport do that.. she stripped for the attention and to test boundaries w/ new people, etc. lol Then she would throw the clothes out the window of the bus if you were not watching her.. lol .. imagine the bus going down the highway with clothes flying out the window.. I mean everything. Shoes etc. It happened once when I was out and placed on another bus for a while. I was placed on the toughest cases of bad behavior or where there was a driver in need b/c his /her bus was totally outta control. I would warn them.. but I guess the other aides would not take me seriously. Boy did they learn the hard way.
Luckily, I was told this when I started aiding her bus. Or else I would of been in the situation of wrestling w/ her to keep clothing from going out the window. I always kept an eye out for her.. even when she thought I wasn't looking. So we started a reward system and so on. In the summer she loved swimming. So the rule is be a good girl on the bus. That meant no hitting, biting or stripping and she got to go swimming. A gentle reminder of " Don't make me tell momma you are not being a good girl.. would normally suffice. Unless she had a bad day and there was a trigger. Then with that we would get thier mind off of the upsetting situation. Depending on the situation. Even ignoring her tantrum would help.
Then a gentle restraint and a calming voice helped. If she was totally out of control a b/c she would hit and harm others. Then you had to come from behind and gently talk to her hugging her from harming herself and others. I some days I would come home looking like I went 10 rounds of boxing. Because when really out of control they can be quite strong. Each child was special in her own way. Behavior Modification. Ya got to love it.
My hat is off to you. I hope the best with the postive re-inforcement it really works. Sometimes there are many triggers for this behavior. The children would have different reasons for not wanting the clothing on them.. some felt restricted and smothered. Or they were uncomfortable, etc. Behavior Mod. is a process like anything. It will take time and consistency. But it is worth it in the end.
X.
Edited by - Xandria on 31 December 2002 3:7:35
shera

Thanks to all of you,I will try these methods with him.
The method I tried last time made Matthew worse,he seemed to regressed to his smearing feces.....I would take around a half an hour a day and "train" him to keep his clothes on,everytime he took his clothes off I would hold him in the corner for 30 seconds and put his clothes back on.He was keeping his clothes on longer,but he started to wet himself and smear.He does keep his clothes on in school and most of the time in other peoples homes.It seems to be when he wants to go into his own little world,he strips and wraps himself in a blanket and rocks,making a loud growling noise. I have a lock on his door,to keep him "out" of his room,because this is where the behavior happens,more. I mentioned there isn't much help here in Nova Scotia for children like Matthew,unless you have money and LOTS of it.I try to get in work shops,but they are so nice to take off 75.00 for the fee...lol.Then all I need is still hundreds of dollars.I don't have the money for that.
What I was doing with Matthew I slacked off and his negitive behavior stopped.....he won didn't he...
I think what I was doing before was too negitive....I feel the reward method will be better.. Thanks again
pettygrudger

The method I tried last time made Matthew worse,he seemed to regressed to his smearing feces.....I would take around a half an hour a day and "train" him to keep his clothes on,everytime he took his clothes off I would hold him in the corner for 30 seconds and put his clothes back on.He was keeping his clothes on longer,but he started to wet himself and smear.He does keep his clothes on in school and most of the time in other peoples homes.It seems to be when he wants to go into his own little world,he strips and wraps himself in a blanket and rocks,making a loud growling noise. I have a lock on his door,to keep him "out" of his room,because this is where the behavior happens,more. I mentioned there isn't much help here in Nova Scotia for children like Matthew,unless you have money and LOTS of it.I try to get in work shops,but they are so nice to take off 75.00 for the fee...lol.Then all I need is still hundreds of dollars.I don't have the money for that.

I'm not a licensed "ABA" therapist, but your post indicates that Matthew was being "rewarded" by taking his clothes off - by you holding him in the corner for 30 seconds (I'm sure he struggled) - he was getting sensory input that otherwise was not available to him. Do you do the brushing techniques? This in of itself will help - I think. Also - absolutely do not touch him when he takes his clothes on - if anything remove yourself (and his "reward") from the situation. Also, "squeezy" hugs regularly throughout the day may help as well (as Xandria alluded too - the direct pressure is something these children crave although they may not appear to like it - struggling gets "more" pressure and they really do like this).
Smearing feces is also another sensory driven exercise....and another way of getting "attention". With Nick, we ceased smearing of feces within a week by removing the "rewards" (hubby would yell & scream, I'd cry - lots of tantrums on everyone's part - but in the end Nick got the reward of the sensory input from not only smearing his feces, but the struggle in cleaning him up & dressing him & the bath that came at the end which is his favorite activity). He did this on average 4x a week. We ceased this by "upping" the amount of time he would play with things like "playdough" and "thick" finger paints and also totally ignored his smearing while he was present. This meant I would wipe him off with a lukewarm washclothe, lock the room in which he had smeared and divert him for a time so he wouldn't see me actually cleaning up his mess. Then we'd wait an hour & then give him a bath so he wouldn't connect all of it with a "reward". Took a week, but its been over a year & we've only had 1 infraction - but I could immediately tell that it was because we hadn't been doing his brushings or squeezy hugs in awhile. Don't worry, you won't have to do it forever - they will learn other "self-stimulating" techniques and eventually with the appropriate therapies you can integrate his "sensory" issues so they are no longer an issue.
Do you have access to books on ABA therapy and sensory integration? I'm not speaking of the 1:1 instruction - there are many "professionals" who don't "agree" with this type of instruction. But the basic principles of ABA work - trust me. If you do not have access to this type of therapy - please email me so I can send you some books on the different techniques. It takes ALOT of consistency, and the changes don't come overnight - but they DO come. And rather than your parenting becoming a "punitive" thing - it becomes a more "teaching" & "praising" way - which works regardless whether the child is neuro-typical or not.
shera

thanks,I sent you an e-mail
shera

I was wondering if my e-mail got to you.mail has been boucing back and forth

pettygrudger

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