Estee,
What a great thread. Thanks!
When I came out of the borg totally in the early 80's, I had been abused, not only by religion, but by my marriage. The religion was gone and so was the marriage. I was a mess. I felt so lost and alone, because even though I had some family and friends that I could talk to, they didn't really understand. I felt abandoned by god, and I couldn't even pray. There was still so much guilt, because I had these "feelings". I just felt that I must be bad and not even know it, because I couldn't just fall in line and believe the JW's.
Everything that happened to me in my life after the age of thirteen, until then, revolved around the borg. I did not have the resources to seek help. And, of course, we know that the WTBTS does not believe in going to a Therapist. However, because I was so emotionally distressed at one point, Social Services encouraged me to talk to one of their counselors for help. That didn't work out. So, I just basically did the best I could. Later in life, I visited at least three therapists, and they were provided by my employer. Let's just say, they could not relate at all. It wasn't until the later part of 2001 that I finally found someone who knew all about cults and JW's. I was finally able to get some good guidance and encouragement. I learned how to relax and meditate. I learned that I was okay--really, and that I was very strong. In that office, I cried my heart out. I realized then, more than ever before, how everything in my life revolved in some way around the JW concept. Gradually, I came away feeling renewed and hopeful. That heavy yoke was beginning to shift and feel lighter.
Friends and family are great, but sometimes, you need a stranger to help you face the things you need to face, and to recognize aspects of behavior that need changing. I highly recommend seeking therapy. I feel that it is a very good thing. We go to the medical doctor when our body hurts. When our emotions hurt or day to day living is too sad, too painful, and the depression keeps us from living our life fully and completely, we need to find a doctor for that as well. Ask first if they are familiar with JW's. If they aren't, go elsewhere. Don't waste your time.
Therapy did not cure me. There is lots of stuff brought out in therapy that I had to fix myself. There is no magic potion that will fix everything. But, I certainly did learn a lot about myself, my strengths and my weaknesses. Changing me certainly did help many areas of my life.
Remember, the only person you can control is yourself. Change is never easy, but the rewards are great! Therapy can really help. It's a start. It's certainly NOT a sign of weakness!!
