A Masturbators Greatest Fear...

by Englishman 27 Replies latest social relationships

• 

  Englishman

  ..is that his dead relatives are watching him whilst he does it!

  So says a recent poll in the London Times supplement anyway . Interestingly, typing this subject matter into Google reveals similar results. Most masturbators are afflicted with fear flashes that they are being watched by deceased family members who gaze appalled at the antics of wankers / wankees as they set about their breathless activities.

  If only the WT believed in life after death, they would have been able to knock the mastubatory habits of the flock on the head in one fell swoop.

  So there you have it, everyone, keep it below the blankets from now on!

  Englishman.
• 

  yumbby

  Ha ha ha, that is hilarious, and not just because I'm drunk either! I have to say, the LAST person I think of is my relatives!
• 

  Mackin

  Most masturbators are afflicted with fear flashes that they are being watched by deceased family members who gaze appalled at the antics of wankers / wankees as they set about their breathless activities.

  Good grief, is this for real?

  I find it sad that people are so enslaved to such irrational beliefs like the deceased still being somehow "alive" that they are in fear of all sorts of things, even pleasurable ones.

  It's sad in a funny kinda way.

  Mackin.
• 

  Ravyn

  hmmmm since masturbation is a very effective way of charging spells in chaos magick, I would think it would be self fulfilling if this is the fear you put out there....please people start thinking positive thoughts when you jerk off!

  Ravyn
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  Scully

  On the eve of my wedding, one elderly sister came up to me to remind me to not have too much fun in giving my "marital due". Because all those anointed brothers and sisters who'd gone to their heavenly reward would be watching.....

  Now if that's not enough to give a person "performance anxiety", I don't know what is!

  Love, Scully
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  onacruse

  I thought the greatest fear of a masturbator was revealed in the recent thread "Masturbators Urged to Turn Selves into Elders." Now, being transformed into a masturbating elder, THAT's scary. LOL

  Craig
• 

  wednesday

  A sis told me once that if u masturbate, the demons would be watching u, and "might put something in u.." ie , the demons would have sex with u.

  I knew an attractive sis who slept with bibles in stategic places due to "demon attacks".

  strange but tue.
• 

  refiners fire

  The all time greatest Masturbation article in WT history.

  WT Sept 15, 1973. "Breaking free of self abuse":

  ..." It is also reported that a "prominent sex expert," during a sex-education class in school, told the students to "go ahead and masturbate." A pamphlet widely distributed in the classrooms of France recommends masturbation, saying it "can fill the emptiness of an hour's class"....

  Holy crap!! Teachers telling their students to go ahead and Mass Masturbate in class!! Can the END be far away??God forbid!!

  ...." The scripture mentions idolatry.... This would apply here, for the masturbator's affection is diverted away from the Creator and is bestowed upon a coveted object, in this case his genitals"....

  God forbid!!
• 

  Xena

  and here I thought the answer would be "running out of batteries" go figure, huh???
• 

  refiners fire

  ...."Did you know, for example, that mothers and fathers who stroke the genitals of their fretful babies to keep them quiet are unwittingly encouraging them to become masturbators later on?"....

  Gawd help us!!

  ..." Somewhat similarly, The Bremerton Sun (Washington) states that many mentally disturbed priests and nuns are chronic masturbators".....