Isn't this great (page 2)

Marcos

Started sliding out around 1974. I was fortunate to have my best friend leave at the same time.

Thing is, even though I had been in since the early 60s or late 50s, had done Bethel service for 4 years, pioneered, etc., I didn't ever really have any major crisis over leaving. I attribute this to 2 factors: The first, and most important is my friend. The second is that my family was "in", but so fringy. My dad getting df'd for smoking didn't phase me. I let it be known to my family that that would have zero effect on my relationship with my dad. We were all in agreement. Later, my mother and both brothers were df'd for various reasons and it never affected how we related to each other. Even brought some old friends from NY who had moved to Los Angeles up to the desert to meet my mom and dad once and told them they were to treat my father with respect. They did, in fact they were wonderful on meeting him.

Things did not go so well for my friend. His dad was a PO (then Cong Overseer) in a KH and really gave it to his son and to me. By that time I hated the mention of the WT. However, I was always respectful to his family. His mom was cool but his dad and his grandmother and all the witnesses in that cong. thought (and still do) that I was Satan for pulling their beloved son out of the "truth". Gotta tell you, this guy don't get pulled nowhere he don't wanna go!

My conclusion is that I was never spiritually mature enough to have ever done anything with them anyway. But the shite they gave me and the guilt that they tried to heap on both of us actually retarded our process of maturing. We were both made to feel worthless and never given any encouragement. It was pretty tough for 2 young guys who had no access to the "brothers" for comfort but were still lectured to. It was to take us YEARS to grow up and to realize that we were actually free. I don't think I really grew up until I was about 32 years old. Pretty slow. But, there was no encouragement from the "bros" and I couldn't trust the "world".

Still feel like a misfit. But I am a happy misfit. Missed out on a lot of good things in life but I guess I am feeling compensated now in the second half of my life. My best friend and I are in constant contact even though he lives in Northern Mexico.

This site has really opened my eyes. Thanks to Simon and all.

Marcos

larc

My wife and I started our fade in 1963. We were all alone in this and started a new life with different friends. It wasn't until about 1982, that I found out about Ray's books, then Penton's, then BRCI, Freeminds, and Ron Fry's newsletter. It was only about two years ago that we got on the net.

Stan Conroy

Hi Larc,

That's 39 years ago! Why do you still care about this stuff? Do you have family still in?

I've been out for less than 10 years, and it's only because of my parents that I still give a s**t about this JW cult. I did the fade, but if they do DA me in this upcoming witch hunt, and if my elderly parents shun me, than I'm done with it. I can't possible picture myself beating this dead horse 30 years from now. And if they don't DA me, once my parents pass away, I will be done with this, once and for all. Either way, you will never see me here again.

Please don't be offended. I'm just curious as to why you and others who have been out for 20, 30, 40 and more years still feel they need to talk about this. I have a friend who was DA'd this year, and he never talks about this stuff. He couldn't care less, and he has sisters in it still.

Lady Lee says she has been out for 18 years and "been free ever sense". But is anybody who still comes to sites like this (myself included obviously) really free? Especially after all those years?

Stan

ballistic

Stan, I know that was addressed to larc, but I just want to comment that in my experience, and not wishing to fall into the trap of categorising people, there are many people here who love on-line interaction and could leave this all this behind if they wanted to and then there are many people here because they do genuinely feel very strongly about it. I think there is a co-relation between those who took the truth very seriously and people who stay here. I would say I fall into both groups, I am here for the fluff posts too, but I was your typical know it all pioneer and took every aspect of being a JW seriously. My fleshly sister (for instance) who never took up the faith would have no interest here.

Stan Conroy

Hi Ballistic,

How long have you been out?

Stan

ballistic

I was disfellowshipped in 1993 (I believe) but planned to return for several years, attending memorials, reading literature and so on. Only after several years did I start to feel differently. I finally found web sites which helped the healing process at the start of 2001.

Stan Conroy

Hi Ballistic,

Can you see yourself posting to sites like this in 20 years? Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely not disparaging this site. It is an extremely important tool in the evolution to freedom of those who leave the cult. But doesn't a person have to finally have some closure and get on with there life?

Stan

Edited by - Stan Conroy on 5 January 2003 19:52:33

Simon

I think it's up to the person concerned really and everyone will want to do things differently - what's best for them.

I think it's good for people if they can to become ex-ex-JWs and I intend to leave it all behind someday, forum and all and forget all about JWs. Of course, there will always be a bit of it with us, affecting our lives, not least through friends and family still in.

So, I can understand people who do move on and leave it behind but I can also see why people stay involved at some level, because even after 40 years it can still be having an effect and you need to have knowledge of doctrine and teaching to know what your relatives are being told.

Nathan Natas

I agree with Ballistic. I think some of us who have been out for awhile (I left in the 70s) stick around because we

1. would like to encourage others who are just on their way out, and

2. feel that they have a little "unsettled business" with the WTS.

When I got out there was no internet, although there may have been BBSs with JW forums. I didn't participate then because I wasn't ready to.

I found Randy's FREEMINDS site and visiting there from time to time, I started to read Amazing's JUSTICE series (linked from Freeminds to here), and Farkel's essays, and AlanF's essays, and Maxumus' posts. I felt I had found some spiritual "brothers," even though I am not at all spiritual by the WTS definition... whoever heard of a "spiritual" atheist?

ballistic

I cant speak personally as I wouldn't like to predict the futute, but that was why I wanted to state the two points that some stay here for on-line interaction which in itself is very addictive, indeed I have allready been to meet fellow board members and had a great time doing so. But I also don't want to take anything away from some not so silent sheep. Do you blame people who have been hurt for staying to try to make some sense of it?

Isn't this great

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