Wow i cant believe the response , i feel i am not alone for the first time. Iwill try to answ. some ques. yes still married to him , hes been a jw for 27yrs. there is so much i want to ask, if you dont mind , when your living with a jw is it that person talking to you or what they put in their head and aresupposed to say? and if a jw is the only one that is going to make it in the new system and will have no memory of us why are they with us now? are they using us till then?and my husb. says he loves me then why does he want to live without me?I didnt mean to lay it on so thick but as you see i have no one to talk to.As far as ques. is my depr. from jws. maybe not cause of child hood but he knows what it was like and saw some of it .We have been together since i was 16.didnt need anti. depr. meds . till yrs into him being jw. Ican tell some of you have had it lots worse then me .Thankyou for listening and letting me winne.Iam the slowest typer and just this took half hr. so if you see me on line in the chat room it will take longgggggggggggggtime for me to answ. thanks kls
married to witness and depression
by kls 16 Replies latest watchtower medical
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Elsewhere
I was engaged to a JW woman once... I just could not bring myself to marry her with all the questions and doubts I had about the bOrg. The closer to the "big date" the more stress I felt... until one day I could not handle it anymore and called off the whole thing.
I'm glad I did. I would hate to be married to a JW right now. Those of you who are, you have my sympathies.
What is odd is that during the period of my growing doubt, I started looking for a JW wife. The more I doubted, the more desperate I became to find one. I guess I was looking for something that would "force" me to stay in.
What is sad is my brother (about 26) just married a JW girl a few months ago. I just hope he does not end up with any kids by her... when there are kids involved it really complicates things. He is a "die hard" JW too.
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jgnat
kls, I would not assume, if I were you, that you husband does not love you. Your depression may be talking. 27 years is a long time. You must know each other pretty well by now. You asked, if a jw is the only one that is going to make it in the new system and will have no memory of us why are they with us now? Are they using us till then? And my husb. says he loves me then why does he want to live without me?
Since athiests manage to have successful marriages, I think it is possible for people to love each other and be satisifed with they days they have together on earth. A lot of JW's live double lives. There is the public face they save for the KH, and the personal face they have when nobody is watching. Sure your husband can spout the party line "I can hardly wait for the new system of things.", but I bet deep down in his heart he is glad you are there to give him a squeeze in the morning and pick up his socks.
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kls
Hi everyone,just had to say thanks for letting me explode, it has been in me for years with no were for it to go.I feel there are people who realy understand and care.If i hurt any ones feelings or said something wrong ,please be assured it was not intentional.From having no one to talk to then having so many from every were is over welming.With you guys i will be just fine. If any one can think of any hints to drop on my husband to get him thinking about jws lies , let me know. kls thankyou
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jgnat
kls, I like you already. I just know you are going to work things out all right.
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Golden Girl
Being married to a JW to me means coming in last!..His Jehovah comes first..his JW mom comes second..his Jw rest of family comes third..I come next and then his 3 kids..and then his 6 grandkids..and from me on ..no one will survive Armaggedeon! Only him and his family and the other witnesses will survive. God promised them!.They are special!
That would depress anyone if they heard it everyday! Contact with the "Normal " world is the only thing that saves me. Talking to others..anywhere..stores..etc. here...(Not that these people are normal[;)) is something that really helps me. I was so depressed over the holidays because I couldn't leave hubby to go to my daughters for Christmas..so I talked to a few people when I went to the drug store and grocery shopping.(Short trip) Our pharmacist was mad because his wife couldn't find the time to go visit his Dad with him on christmas..He was really hurt. So we said some nice things to each other and I think we both felt better! . Talking to others really helps!..I have 3 grown children that I really appreciate because they know what we all went through as JW's and we can always talk and help each other.
So don't ever hesitate to open up here..we all need help and support at one time or other.Especially if we are married to a witness or some that are being shunned by JW relatives ..
I especialy like to come here now because my JW hubby has terminal cancer...and for a while he was giving me a hard time about going back to the hall so we could all be together in the new world! Emotions were really flying high..him diagnosed with cancer and me being pushed to go back to the meetings...by him and his family...the guilt was tremendous!..Should I or shouldn't . Well..he got too bad to go so that was settled ..
Also..talking to others here helped me see the guilt trip they were putting me on. And how unfair it was..I knew I NEVER wanted to go back again!
So I hope you keep posting..we need all the help and encouragement we can get..
Snoozy......
Edited by - Golden Girl on 11 January 2003 0:28:46
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castyurcare
Dear KLS,
And I thought I was the lone ranger! I have been married to a JW for 29 years. We didn't start out that way, but several yrs. after we were married he got into jws, I didn't really have an interest at the time so he kinda got sucked in and sorry to say now, I didn't protest or research what jws believe. He is a nice person but just like the rest of 'em, terribly mislead and brainwashed. Even after all this time, I have a hard time rising above the situation. As you all know, jw beliefs permeate every situation, every aspect of married life and I am so weary of it, I just try to go on..........
Hope you find help and peace here. I havent posted much as I am new to posting and have only been in chat 1 or 2 times, but from reading the posts on this site, my heart goes out to all those who have had a horrendous childhood because of being forced to comply to jw beliefs and standards. Wishing healing and health to all~~~~
I also live in Wisconsin!!
Edited by - castyurcare on 5 February 2003 1:55:47