Is my friend wrong?

by Country Girl 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • Country Girl
    Country Girl

    My best friend is well acquainted with JW's. She has known me since both of our kids were in our bellies. She was 18, I was 25. Our kids were born and raised up together as brother and sister. Back in the day when I was still sympathetic with the JW's, we both studied and we both had a lot of questions. We didn't keep up with it, but it has always continued to play a part in our holiday celebrations as she was always keenly aware that MY family wouldn't attend our celebrations (she was like a sister tome) because they were Witnesses... She was well aware of my JW family members and was always very respectful of their beliefs. She was like a sister to me and I have loved her as such since 17 years ago.

    About seven weeks ago we decided that we wanted to go to the Texas Rennaissance Festival. We planned for many weeks about the campsite, who was gonna bring what, and all that stuff. She called up at the last minute and said she was going to bring C. I said who is "C" and she said that she was someone she met offa the Internet.. I was kinda flummoxed cuz it was someone we didn't know, and we weren't sure. What else could we say? She ended up bringing "C" and we had a real good time! He seemed over-involved with her for their first date, but I chocked it up to being a single Dad. We lit a fire in front of our campsite.. and put up the tents. He was a really friendly, and nice, guy. I liked him alot. We got to talking, as people do around campfires, and when my friend was out in the woods relieving herself, he revealed to me that he was an X-witness. He said he didn't want me to tell her that I knew that, because he wanted to tell her that for himself. He said that he had been an elder in a congregation, and he knew my family. I said "How do you know my family?" Come to find out.. his X wife had dated my brother when she was a teenager.. and she was the one that, involved with my brother, was reproved. Then I found out that she had been married three or four times, had a buncha kids.. and was the person that my brother had dated this last spring cuz she was trying to get him to marry her. My brother is 40 years old, and still single, and he took her and her four kids to the rodeo.. and decided he didn't wanna get involved with a sister with four kids.

    So... my friend comes back from the bathroom.. and I just blurt out "wow .. your boyfriend was a former JW." Then they went in to the tent for him to explain it to her. I thougt it was REALLY STUPID cuz she thinks JW's are just nuts... And then everything was okay. What was really wierd is how it fit in all with our prior pathology with my friend. BOTH our brothers died at the same age of the same thing, our oldest uncles BOTH had AIDS, we BOTH married a guy named Joe on October 5, 1985 (didnt know each other) and got divorced the same day. Wierd...

    I DIDNT like how he was so possessive of her at the park the next day.. it bugged me. I told her, but she didn't listen. She was ust ENAMORED of him. I also found out that he was a real suck up. He just was like totally IN to her. Everything she said or did.. he was right on it.

    He said that he was a "event expert" for events like fireworks, music, and lighting. That was okay. Then it kind of shocked me when he said that he was closing down his business and didn't have much work. I was kinda scared for my friend.

    Guess what? In five weeks.. he was living with her. She told me that he was living with her and she didn't want ME to let on that I knew about that. He told her that he didnt want people talkin about it, so that they shouldn't talk about it. I thnk I am reaching the end of my posting stuff.. so I'll continue it again...

  • Country Girl
    Country Girl

    So then.. we go up to a ranch on January 1st. This is FIVE WEEKS after he meets her. He is living with her now. She has a daughter that lives in the Texas Baptist Children's Home. She's had disciplinary probmes with her for years. So now this guy comes in. The kid comes home from school.

    On our way up to the ranch the kid tells me that the XJW is telling her what to do,. that he has said that her mother has given her authority status over to the guy.. and that he has the right to discipline her. She doesn't THINK so.. so she regurtitates. The XJW guy proceeds to drag the daughter, who is smarting off to him... ove rthe carpet. She shows me her carpet burns and bruises. That serves to show to me that this guy is a DANGER to my friend .. so I go home and express my fears and stress...

    I was NUTS! I swear.... I say whatre you doing bringing in an XJW who is already having legal problems cuz he's an abuser.. wit your daughter... and she just tells me:

    Mind yer own buisness.

    I asked her how she could put the friendsuip we had had and her own DAUGHTER'S safety on hold.. She said that I was mistklen and that her daughter was just ifne and it wa noe of my business. I guess she was right...

    Country Girl

  • Yizuman
    Yizuman

    Report it to the police. Get her out of there. If the mother won't listen, there's no telling what that nut will do to her. Keeping your friendship is not worth the price of seeing the little girl being beaten.

    I'd rather lose my friendship with someone I knew for years in order to save a life of another.

    Yizuman

  • imanaliento
    imanaliento

    in life some lessons are hard to learn, but it's her that has to learn them, just continue to be a friend that will listen when it doesn't work out.

  • Mum
    Mum

    When a child's welfare is involved, it's everybody's business. If you won't report this, e-mail me and I will do it for you. When you witness a crime, particularly a crime against another person's body (yes, myself is more important than my property), it is your duty to report it.

    SandraC

  • truthsetsfree
    truthsetsfree

    Contact the children's home where the daughter lives, also file a report with the child protective services in your area. It's important that you also say something (not just the daughter to her caretakers), as the report will then be taken more seriously.

  • caligirl
    caligirl

    You can't change your friend - she will do what she likes, and is entitled to do so. But you can do something to protect her daughter, since she will not do that herself. Who knows what this guy is capable of, and it is not worth this little girls life to wait to find out. Your friend may be mad, but you will know you have done the right thing in protecting her daughter. Discipline problem or not, this girl does not deserve any form of abuse.

  • A Paduan
    A Paduan

    Yep

  • Witch Child
    Witch Child

    I am still going through a situation that has a slight similarity to this... There was no abuse that I know of, but my sister was neglecting her daughter very badly. We all finally stepped in and tried to save her. We should have gotten better advice because we failed to ensure my niece's well-being. I now have no contact with my sister or niece. It sucks, it really does, but now at least I know that I tried. We involved the courts, the police and the child protective people...

    I would probobly do it again anyway, maybe with more planning and evidence gathering. My nice is not safe, but if my sis screws up again, and she will, there is now a nice big file on her in several official places.

    Best of luck and bright blessings to you Country Girl.

    ~Witch

  • A Paduan
    A Paduan

    Oh, and if you contact services about her daughter, make sure that he isn't just an abuser, but rather a (ex) JW abuser

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