Most ridiculous statements from the JW stage? (page 7)

LDH

LOL @ dobby, and "peer pressure".

I remember an elder in our hall was giving a talk, and of course he interjected his own shit in there about which songs we shouldn't even be listening to, because they were so insidious and worldly!

He then proceed's to name Roxanne's "Listen to your heart" (how freakin' innocent is that song, btw?) as an evil song! He went OFF about it, talking about Jeremiah 10:18 how the heart is treacherous and how JW's are NOT supposed to listen to their heart...blah blah blah.

The joke of it was, the moral of the song was to THINK about your actions. The 'listen to your heart' refrain was telling a young lady to make sure before she left her boyfriend, this is really what she wanted.

All of the young people were shaking their heads NO; but of course, after the meeting several of them had their Roxanne albums thrown away. LOL.

Lisa

Dark Knight

Lisa,

I'm sure you mean "Roxette"...

Cheers, DK

LDH

Thank you DK.

You're right. I wan't that big into that group, I couldn't remember.

Lisa

ESTEE

I can't believe some of the garbage that has been taught from the platform, in the name of God!! Just because these teachings came from the platform, does that automatically mean that the message is inspired of God? So it must be automatically accepted as truth? Where is their common sense?

Pistoff:

Now this does not mean that if your husband slaps you up a bit, you can go running to the elders.

Sounds to me like Jack Thomas, CO is a wifebeater.

Czarofmischief:

Pharisee Alert

Yup. . . these are self-righteous, self-appointed judges.

Setfreefinally:

If you didn't read it in the WTS publication, you can't believe it

Excuse me!!!. . .Like there are no credible "worldly" reference materials outside the borg???? LMAO at that one!!!

Ed:

Statue giving birth

Oh, yeah. . . these men are fully qualified and appointed by none other than the Holy spirit. . . you can just tell almost immediately!!!! LMAO!!!

Thirdson:

Peer Pressure

Hope I don't burst out laughing next time I hear that expression. . .anywhere. . .

Ed:

Accepted without any question

And all because the jws heard it from the platform. . . hmmm. . . .must be inspired!

dobby:

women are the weaker vessel

That so-called scriptural explanation that you heard of the Jw-ism-educated men. . . .aren't these men just so. . .so. . .soooooo . . .

Glad I'm gone!!!!!

Love,

Esther

Stephanus

Again, not JW, but a previous comment reminded me of this.

Female and Male overseers over the (church run) house I lived in: The rules and moral standards we are now imposing on you are the same ones we impose on our teenage kids - if they're good enough for them, they're good enough for you! (We were all in our mid-twenties and had mostly been out of our parents' homes for years)

The results of those wonderful rules?

The female oversight: One of her teenage daughters got pregnant out of wedlock

The male oversight: his two teenage daughters got pregnant out of wedlock and his son, who had a lot of empty beer bottles and cigarette butts in the back of his car, beat him up.

starfish422

You guys are killing me!! I haven't laughed so hard in ages. :D Thanks for the crazy memories.

FreeWilly

Ok here's a couple I remember:

From Bethel "Mourning" worship - Brother Klien after speaking with his neighbor Bethel boys about their music: "And one Brother had the nerve to tell me that this was the same music their parents listen to at home...just because your parents have loose morals when it comes to music it doesn't mean you can bring that trash into Gods house" (I believe the music in question was Journey!)

From the K H: "Its a scientific fact that after a girl looses her virginity her desire for sex becomes difficult to control." (really girls? I never knew

Another Gem: "God is orderly.... You don't see planets or stars colliding in outer space.....They are in perfect harmony like a precision timepiece" (Gotta love that JW edgumacation)

Swan

How could I have forgotten this one?

From the stage, "Armageddon must be close. People are dying now that have never died before!"

Tammy

RAYZORBLADE

"Millions now living, will die laughing....." geez, I wonder who they are?

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

LoneWolf

Welllllllll - - - -

The brother was conducting a Service Meeting part. It was a question and answer part out of the KM, as I recollect. He had one paragraph read and it happened to have the word "flatulence" in it. He looked up at the audience and chirped, "Could someone tell us what that word means?"

That place got as quiet as a tomb. He just stood there waiting expectantly. Finally, I shrugged and figured, "Ahhh, whot the heck", and raised my hand.

"Yes, Br. Howell!" He said all enthusiastic like.

"That's a fart." The poor man almost fell off the stage. Hehehehehe!

I know. Me baaaaaaaaaaad. I just feel terrible about it.

LoneWolf

Most ridiculous statements from the JW stage?

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