Help !! How can I stop my stepson stealing

by kelpie 17 Replies latest social family

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  kelpie

  Ok here goes

  We have noticed more and more that our middle son is stealing. It was just little things before. But the other day we found a $50 note in their room. Our son is 8 years old

  We have yet to question him as to where it came from (as he is at his mother's house).

  We have tried banning him from toys, making him take the item back to the owner and telling them what he done etc but nothing seems to be working.

  He stole a present for his mum for christmas and was proud of the fact. We don't know what to do. We dont think smaking him is going to work. We want to get on top of it now before it gets out of control and turns to something really serious.

  Has any one been in this situation before?? How did you handle it??

  Kelps

  edited to add his age

  Edited by - kelpie on 10 January 2003 0:13:49
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  Dolphin57

  I was a kid klepto when I was that age. To me, it meant many things. I didnt have to bother my parents to buy it. It was my little treasure. I had to work to get it. Bunch of reasons. Of course my parents found out and tried to talk to me about it and tell me it was wrong. It didn't stick because when you are 8, everything is wrong and you ALWAYS hear no. The thing that stopped me dead in my tracks was that my parents showed me what happened to stealers. They had a friend (cop) put me in handcuffs in the back of a squad car and drive away from my parents. THEN I listened when the told me what happens to people who steal. I havent stolen a thing since, my mans heart excluded. It wasnt too harsh and it was just what I needed to set me straight. With the new age of internet, I am sure you can find something just as powerful about the consequences of stealing. Hope this helps. *hugs*
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  Utopian_Raindrops

  Kelpie,

  How old is the boy?

  My parents raised my cousin and in High School he used to get high a lot.(hehe figures HIGH Schoolok Im not funny)

  Anyway, the Dean and my parents got together and made a pact with the police.

  It was all set.

  My cuz always had paraphernalia in his locker. So they called him down to the office for just a pipe and had him sit in the Deans office and wait for the cops...who then took him off in cuffs and then from there allowed him his one call..which forced him to call his Tio my Dad who had to come on down and since this was prearranged my Dad pretended to pay a bail.

  My cuz was made to pay my Dad off with manual labor by building sea walls all summer long!!!

  He never found out it was a set up till he was like 25!!! Still and all it worked!

  I dont know maybe you could get some help from school councilors like that.

  It scares the pants off of them being dragged in by police like that.

  Maybe seems drastic but, he would have been a burn out like all his friends are today if not for that charade.

  So I think it was worth it.

  Let me know what you decide cause I am a mama of 3 and anything that works I take note of.

  Ciao 4 now!

  Agape,

  Utopian_Raindrops

  Para ti Bonita Kelpie.....
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  kelpie

  He is 8 years old raindrops
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  bikerchic

  Kelpie from one who knows......just let him get caught once and go through the system it worked for me and it worked for my daughter. Tough way but it works!

  Katie
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  Utopian_Raindrops

  Rolf!! Sorry Kelp didnt know he was only 8!

  I am so wicked!!

  Well, my brother was a klepto at a real young age like that Used to steal from everyones piggy banks for candy money..the junky!!!

  For everything you find he has stolen.take it away and then find something else of HIS that goes to the person he stole from. Even if they dont really want what is his what is important is HE loves the item.

  Then he will understand paying back and LOSS of ones own things.

  It was the 70s when my Bro was a Klepto though and he got an old fashioned spanking every time. He says that was the key but, I dislike spankings.

  The paying with what an item he loves is what I used on my middle daughter when she took things of her cousins.

  See if that helps if you chose this method. Worked for my daughter but, girls and boys are different.

  I hope I helped even just a tiny bit. Kelp.

  Stillmore for you.

  U_R
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  LDH

  Kelpie,

  Here's what I would do: take his favorite, prized possession and put it away for safekeeping. When he asks you where it is (as he will certainly do), instead of answering him directly--try answering his questions with a few of your own.

  -Dad, where is my favorite ___?

  --When is the last time you saw it, son?

  -Yesterday.

  --What do you think might have happened to it? (suggest a few scenarios)

  -I don't know!

  --How would you feel if someone had stolen it???

  and so on. You should reveal to him after your discussion that you have the item, and the reason you took it.

  It's important for children to learn that their actions have an impact on others around them. When he steals, he hurts another human being. None of us should EVER intentionally hurt another human being. (Well except for Jeffrey Dahmer and his ilk, but you get my point.)

  I would not return his possession to him for a time, maybe a week. You really want to drive the point home that it HURTS to have something taken from you. Give him some time to think about how his actions have affected others.

  Just a suggestion off the cuff. Others may have more input.

  Lisa
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  SixofNine

  Go "Islam" on his little ass.
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  Yerusalyim

  I like the a combination of the ideas, use the LDH suggestion of hiding one of his fav toys and do the maybe it was stolen scenario combined with the send the cops in for a little scare.
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  ashitaka

  As long as the officer is gentle with the kid and is just trying to help, that's a helluva way to teach a kid a lesson.

  I pickpocketed someone once (140$), and I was made to apologize to the person face to face. At the time, I was a little bad-ass and it amused me to act like I was sorry, but, in the end, it did it's work.

  I was not allowed to get a paper route to work for money because we lived in a bad neighborhood, and had stolen the money because I was dirt poor. After that, I was allowed to get a job, and I haven't been dishonest, even for a penny, since. I insist on always paying people for lunch, etc. It made me better to steal and face the consequences young, rather than never be punished and become a punk.

  Good luck,

  ash

  ash