I think my husband DA'd over the phone

by FreeFallin 14 Replies latest jw friends

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  ozziepost

  My point is, you can try to bow out gracefully and just go on with your life, minding your own business, but they will probably come after you sometime. We refused to write a letter to DA ourselves. When they told us three weeks ago that they'd have to make an announcement to the congregation, we said "do what YOU have to do, it makes no difference to us". The elder said if it were him, he would have written a letter as soon as he decided to leave. Steve told him he thought it would be ironic that the last thing he did upon leaving would be following their rules and writing a letter.

  So many wide words in this paragraph, that I hope all lurkers and fence-sitters take careful note of each point.

  The modus operandi is not an isolated case, but is the norm.

  Be warned everyone who still thinks that the status of "fadeaway" carries some dignity.

  Cheers, Ozzie

  Edited by - ozziepost on 13 January 2003 6:18:31
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  Shakita

  Hi FreeFallin:

  The elder wants a DA letter from you because it is easier on him. I can bet you that most of the elders who are going on these "inactive" visits DO NOT want to do it. They are just doing what they are being told to do. Just like we did when we followed all the rules coming down from the top when we were JW's.

  Our time is coming soon, too. The elders haven't made any formal contact yet, just some friends calling to see how my husband is doing. I am expecting a call or visit soon, though. We have been inactive about a year. We have had contact with witnesses since then on a social basis. We will not meet with them, what would be the point? If they choose to DA us, they will do so without our help.

  Ozzie was right on the money when he said:

  Be warned everyone who still thinks that the status of "fadeaway" carries some dignity

  It seems absolutely criminal to me that when you are baptized into "God's arrangement" they do not outline for you what punishments result from leaving "the arrangement."

  Take care.

  Mrs. Shakita
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  imanaliento

  good point Ozzie!

  please do not let such fear of man dominate your life.We wrote letters, not mentioning anything about the DA word, but they wanted a bottom line answer and they got it. it's a lot less stress than wondering who's on the phone or when are they coming.

  The scripture that was in my mind upon our decision was. Get Out Of Her My People If You Do Not Want To Share In Her Sins. they have a lot of sins that they are accountable for. God knows whats in my heart.

  just to add. place a copy of Crisis Of Conscience around, maybe he will pick it up and start reading it. I Did.

  Edited by - imanaliento on 13 January 2003 11:15:43
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  ugg

  i think it is a no win situation....hope the best for you in what ever you choose....
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  FreeFallin

  Thank you everyone for all your input. I really appreciate it. I'm sending a very brief letter to this particular elder, no doctrinal issues, no doubts, etc just a letter to a friend telling him we're sorry we couldn't meet with him.Then pointing out the statement on the website, and adding that we will be just fading away. No confrontational statements. Then, we'll see what happens; If it gets to be too much of a hassle, then the DA letter to another elder. And I won't be so pleasant.
  Thank you all again for your kindness and concern. I will let you know the outcome.

  FreeFallin

  "Never wrestle with a pig, you won't win and the pig actually enjoys it"--Farkel