by Latte 13 Replies latest jw friends
Please correct my thinking if I'm wrong, BUT..........
I regret pretty much ALL of the JW friends whom I've loved.... and now lost due to my now no longer viewing things the same as them.
I regret the many VERY special events in life which I shared with them.
Am I right to feel this way?
Latte
Hi Latte...
I can understand what you're saying...
Maybe, because you're still hurt you're still a little angry about the whole situation... and I don't blame you... I've felt the same way. But those experiences and every little experience in your life made you who you are... Just appreciate the good times... don't regret anything... make it your goal to be happy and try to get those 'friends' OUT of that evil org. They are just as blind as we all were before.
I see your point too. I wish I hadn't spent my time with people who would turn their backs on me so fast. But I look back on the times and I was happy, and thats what is important. I will make more happy times with others, hopefully those I can continue to have happy times with later on in life, regardless of my beliefs. Don't look back and regret life, look back and be glad you had those good times.
I can understand what you're saying. But keep in mind that your feelings were true for those people. You have loved them, and you have had some special moments with them. Treasure those memories, perhaps someday one of the JW you have loved, will come out of the Borg, and you will be able to share some new experiences with them.
Never regret you giving love to someone. It is what makes us human, and it is what makes us special. Even when the friendships don't last, remember that you have had some fine and wonderful moments to look back to. And I know it is a bitter memory, but in time the hurt will go away.
Take care.
It is always good to remeber what you experienced in your life has made you the person you are today. I know for myself I really did believe all the lies and felt turning my back on others is what GOD required. Feel sorry for your old friends they are really mislead. Be happy that you saw through all of it. Love life and all it has to offer, instead of the years you were told it was going to end. Just my thoughts.
Leslie
i can't say that i really regret them. there are many fond memories and if anything, i feel bad for those friends. my last year or two that i was in, that had to be the most fun i had as a JW. lots of parties, lots of good times. if that same group was out today, i'd still be partying with them. and email said it the right way--all of those things make you who you are today.
Latte,those are your feelings and they are not wrong.You are not hurting anyone with feeling this way.I think you may have to go threw the mountions(sp) of emountions to heal yourself.I regret a lot,with having anything to do with the organization.It has done damage to myself being envolved with the WTS.I went threw a lot of emountions when I heard and found out for myself the WTS was just a bunch of lies.Right now I'm going threw an angry time. I will get over it with time.Sometimes we have to let go of the past because we have a furture and I know I don't want to waste it dwelling on my anger and regrets.
Take care, and hugs to yah
Heather
i agree with vivamus. you should see that even when bad things happen, and things go sour, good things can always come of it.
I learned the hard way that living in regret is a dead end street. It comes down to, "what if", and that is not healthy for me. I "what if" my life for many years...and it just kept me at odds with finding an answer that was comfortable. We are not going to change a darn thing that happened, but we can learn how to turn those situations into a positive stepping stone so that perhaps we needn't make the same, eeeerrr, for lack of better word, mistakes.
Life is about taking the challenge. We can live in regret of the past, or we can get up, shake the dust off and keep moving away from thinking that hinders our evolution. At the same time, as already mentioned, at least you can acknowledge and "feel" those feelings without having some idiot jackass hypocritical do-gooder tell you "You shouldn't feel that way." Feel it and let it go. Life is too short to stay trapped in negative self-talk.
And remember, recovery takes time. One day you'll realise those baby steps amount to having conquered the mountain.
Hey, just for sake of conversation about regret here's a short tale: My former husband, one I meant in A.A. would find humor in how he drank away at least $100,000.00 in his drunkend days. It was always a good story when "regret" came up at a meeting. :) :) Listen to what others may have to say, too. It's hardly just the religiously abused that experience such. It is, in my opinion, the determined to overcome type that eventually gets it. Look around at those you may encounter that never live in the moment because regret is their only companion. Sad individuals indeed.
Hang in there. Things do improve and one day you will find the parodoxical humor of being human.
love, granny
Thank you all for your kind discerning words, it meant an awful lot to me having you guys understand. I cried buckets in between peoples posts, I really thought that I was over that!
I guess what I really wanted regarding the people I have left behind, is for them to of been a part of my life, past, present and future. You know the friends who grow with you, who you know really well, and feel happy to.....dare I say it?.....grow old with, such friends are irreplaceable as I'm sure most realize.
I watched a couple of films where lifelong friends faced great challeges of their friendship.....their friendship won out! I want that.....thats all.
I have gone through what I'm sure most of us have experienced when leaving, you know, bouts of crying etc. BUT for the most part, I do feel happy.... and sad for those that are left in this 'cult thing' I have had times where I've had to pinch myself due to the shear pleasure of the freedom I was now able to experience....probably more mental freedom than anything....its wonderful!.... Intoxicating even. The dubs really don't know what they are missing!
E-mail said
Maybe, because you're still hurt you're still a little angry about the whole situation... and I don't blame you... I've felt the same way
Yes, I think that you are right, I really didnt realize.
Truthseeker said
Don't look back and regret life, look back and be glad you had those good times.
Vivamus said
Never regret you giving love to someone. It is what makes us human, and it is what makes us special. Even when the friendships don't last, remember that you have had some fine and wonderful moments to look back to. And I know it is a bitter memory, but in time the hurt will go away.
Yes, I will try. Thank you.
Leslie said
Feel sorry for your old friends they are really mislead. Be happy that you saw through all of it. Love life and all it has to offer, instead of the years you were told it was going to end. Just my thoughts.
Eyegirl said
all of those things make you who you are today
Yeah, I think I do like myself more now, than when I was in. Thanks!
Heather said
.Sometimes we have to let go of the past because we have a furture and I know I don't want to waste it dwelling on my anger and regrets.
Thanks for the new perspective! Good advice.
Pleasuredome said
good things can always come of it.
My kids are no longer a worry, they will never have to face their friends abandoning them in this way......now that's a good thing!
Granny Linda said
I learned the hard way that living in regret is a dead end street. Life is too short to stay trapped in negative self-talk
.
Life IS too short! Thank you Granny, advice taken on board!
: My former husband, one I meant in A.A. would find humor in how he drank away at least $100,000.00 in his drunkend days. It was always a good story when "regret" came up at a meeting. :) :)
WOW thats an aweful lot of booze! LOL Thanks for that!
Thank you all so much for you wise words, I really needed to think differently.
Latte
Edited by - Latte on 15 January 2003 13:32:30
