Why Me?

by John Aquila 69 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Ucantnome

  Jehovah knows how to deliver righteous people”

  Was this a reference to 2 Peter
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  lrkr

  Have you ever played the "would I have ever awakened if...." game?

  For me, I wonder if I had married someone different, if we didn't have a child, if I never left Bethel, etc. I'd like to hope I would have awakened anyway, but I'm not sure.

  Very thankful for where I am though. "I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference"
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  CalebInFloroda

  @done4good

  You misunderstand.

  While we are agreeing that the days and/or years the person remaining in denial are not periods of "cognitive dissonance," I was stating that some others have made the mistake of saying that these long periods of being in denial are "cognitive dissonance" in themselves.

  Long periods of denial can be caused by cognitive dissonance, but they aren't the same thing.

  As for my pastor friend, she did not dig in deeper, she let go of it as soon as she had a moment to herself to look at the matter. The days following 9/11 were not days of "refusal to let go" as she compartmentalized the situation to avoid confronting the cognitive dissonance. But after about two weeks she had time to herself, discussed it with friends like me, and discarded these views as illogical when she could. Before it was not possible.

  Many people had to compartmentalize to get through those days. Rescue workers at the scenes of destruction had to compartmentalize their fears and frustration and just work as if on "automatic" like my pastor friend. Most didn't have the luxury of stopping tand dealing with their situation. Some stayed in this mode for quite some time because that is what they had to do.

  This is not the same as denial as one does in an ideology when faced with facts that conflict with one's thoughts. These people were moved by a sense of duty to complete their jobs which they vowed to perform. Rescue workers consisted of police, firefighters, and others like clergy who had to do their jobs without thinking of themselves.

  My friend had to selflessly think of others for days before stopping to consider her own self and struggles. This was not "digging in deeper." This was done out of her duty to serve the public. What Witnesses do is a selfish choice to avoid dealing with the cognitive dissonance. What my friend did was very different.
  

  But to clarify, my statements were mainly directed at the way others have been using the term. Your use of "collective cognitive dissonance" implied that an ideology thrives on this, wherein the reality is that they thrive because they don't deal with it or take steps to avoid situations that cause the dissonance in the first place. That made me feel I should add something lest someone make the mistake as to what this dissonance was.
  
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  dubstepped

  I think it all comes down to openness and courage to face fears and challenge things, looking for something better as a seeker in life. Most people prefer the comfort of thinking they have found what they're looking for and that illusion to the life of constantly seeking and growing. Growing pains accompany such seeking, and most seek to avoid the pain. There are plenty of intelligent, caring, self-sacrificing people that will simply not have the natural ability or tools that it takes to step out on their own and buck the system, whatever that system is. Look through history and it is those that stood apart as different that grew the most, but they were also the rarity. It isn't the quality of person that matters but specific qualities of that person that can make one see TTATT and walk away.
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  Finkelstein

  There are many confusing aspects to being JWS that creates internal cognitive dissonance.

  For myself and like many others the start or tipping point may be the Question ... " How can this be god's chosen organization if this organization puts out so much deceitful lies and false information ?
  
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  John Aquila

  done4good

  They actually dig their heels deeper to avoid the effects of the cognitive dissonance, at least for a period of time, and often that time period lasts years, if not decades. A person can only take so much of the conflict, so shutdown is a common response. The belief in spite of overwhelming evidence to the contrary of that belief is just another form of mental shutdown. It is only when a person is forced into the state of cognitive dissonance to such a degree that their normal shutdown mechanisms are no longer effective, that the cognitive dissonance actually forces them to wake up.

  
  

  You just described my ex perfectly. I'm waiting and hoping that ultimately she is forced to wake up. That's why I love stuff like the RC. Exposure, exposure, and more exposure, that's the key.
  
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  John Aquila

  Magnum

  Maybe it is. You assume

  
  

  Yea, I do, I really don't have any answers. Everyone here so far makes a point I can't refute. I almost have my second degree and read tons of books on different subjects and I'm still as lost as ever. So I decided to just admit I don't know and probably won't before the final breath. And I'm not really ok with it but what else can I do? Nothing but try to enjoy the last few moments of life I do have.
  
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  John Aquila

  Ucantnome

  Was this a reference to 2 Peter

  
  

  2 Peter 2:9,10 Jehovah knows how to deliver people of godly devotion out of trial, but to reserve unrighteous people for the day of judgment to be cut off, 10 especially, however, those who go on after flesh with the desire to defile [it] and who look down on lordship.
  

  Yep, and it didn't work well for Lot either. The city of Zoar was spared probably thousands of those who go on after the flesh with the desire to defile it, but God executed Poor Lot's wife for just looking back. Which sin was worse, looking back or going after flesh to defile it?

  The chances of surviving that destruction were better if you were a flesh defiling Zoarite rather than the Wife of Godly Lot.
  
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  Magnum

  John Aquila: I really don't have any answers. Everyone here so far makes a point I can't refute. I almost have my second degree and read tons of books on different subjects and I'm still as lost as ever. So I decided to just admit I don't know and probably won't before the final breath. And I'm not really ok with it but what else can I do? Nothing but try to enjoy the last few moments of life I do have.
  

  Same with me. I do plan on continuing to seek. I'm collecting more and more books hoping that in the not-so-distant future, I can find a way to slow down in my work so I can have time to read/seek.
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  Xanthippe

  I have come to the conclusion our personalities are a nature/nurture thing plus our own free will. We have a certain personality partly because of our genes and partly because during our childhood we kept making small decisions that even make us different from our siblings.

  For example, my mother was ill during my teenage years so I helped out with housework because I could see how she was struggling. My brother and my unmarried sister thought it 'wasn't their responsibility', whatever that means. Little decisions that make us who we are.

  Do we look at the world now and say perhaps I can help by contributing to that charity, food bank or volunteer time and energy. Those still in the cult say big J will sort that out. Each small decision, one after the other in our formative years makes us who we are I believe. For some the comfort zone of th JW religion draws them back as they wrap themselves in cotton wool and go back to sleep.