Just had to share this!...

by Golden Girl 42 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Golden Girl

  Scully...I am glad you mentioned that post..I followed along for a while...hoping someone could give you the information. I was glad it worked out OK.

  Listen to this....that was the day my JW sister and brother in law and my JW mother in law came to visit hubby. We had been talking about how the "Brothers" hadn't been to visit hubby. Then I remembered that post and told them about it!..They couldn't believe it!..I couldn't rub it in enough times!..The witnesses neglecting their own..and the witnesses not being available in an emergency!...I loved every minute of rubbing it in!.

  Then they had the nerve to later tell my grown daughter that the reason she "Fell away" was because she didn't have two parents raising her in the "Truth"..(I was the only one going then)..but I am sure they meant later when I quit and hubby started occassionly going to please his parents.What they don't know I know is that their oldest son is inactive and the younger son has bee disfellowshipped twice! They had a lot of room to talk didn't they.

  Well my daughter quickly clarified her position!..Said she was Catholic now and VERY happy in her religion!..So no more preaching to her!...What a good girl!

  My other daughter came over today so I could go to the store..and she said she found a XJW chatroom. I don't know which one though. I am going to give her the links I have..

  Golden Girl...Snoozy

  Heaven...what you describe is so much like what the booklet they gave me describes. l was with both my parents when they died. I wish I had this booklet then. It would have made it so much easier! They used that suction thing on my Dad. If I knew what I know now..that would ever have happened. It was torture to him. Hubby wants to stay home if at all possible. His Dad (Bone Cancer) actually got violent and his Mom couldn't control him the last 2 weeks. She and hubby ended up putting him in a nursing home for two weeks before he passed away. He was calling her an Evil Woman!...he didn't want her by him. He was a very smart man!

  Gotta try and get hubby up. He just wants to dissapear in is own little world today. Maybe he will end up calling me an Evil Woman" too.

  Snoozy..aka...Golden Girl...

  Edited by - Golden Girl on 19 January 2003 16:57:40
• 

  wednesday

  Golden Girl,

  I do know how u are feeing, recently, my mother, a life long jw died. I cared for her until she died. ,my jw brother did nothing.. I had to call and beg him to come see her. I had to call and beg the Jws to come and see her. it was pathetic. At her funeral only a few showed up. She was faithful all her life. But in the end, she was an old person in a wheel chair sitting in the back of the hall.My own mother once said that jws are not good when u have problems. They run like the wind, and blame u for not being more spiritual. my entire family, , could have spit on the jws, for all the help(NOT) they gave us.

  I know i needed spiritual help during this time she was dying.. Why don't u speak to the pastor? it won't hurt. Your hubby neds u now, and u must keep yourself strong.

  I let a baptist minister say a pray for mom at the hospital, he was very nice, and mom was ok with it. how dare jws think they have a hotline to God.

  My love to u.
• 

  Solace

  Snoozy,

  You are an incredible person.

  I just cant keep from keep thinking of you.

  Im sure you are exactly who your husband needs right now. I tried to be stong for my aunt, even though it was hard. In the morning, near the end, I had gotten into a major tiff with the Dr. because he wasnt giving her any meds to calm her, and she was having anxiety attacks. He finally moved more urgently when I told him that I was "pissed that he wasnt moving his a*s", and "How would he like to be as upset and uncomfortable as she was!" It can be very emotional and I really just wanted her to be as comfortable as possible, ya know?

  After she was finally given some morphine, and able to calm down, I must have fallen assleap for a few minutes in my chair. I awoke to see her smiling at me, it was the sweetest thing then she told me I was so pretty, like an angel. I'll Bet the Dr. didnt think that when I was bitc*ing him out an hour earlier though.

  I really feel for you right now, I can only imagine what you must be feeling, going through this with your own husband.

  My thoughts and prayers are with you.
• 

  Jerry Bergman

  Golden Girl

  My heart goes out for you. My mother, an active JW until she got sick, never once had a visit from the elders (or anyone else from the hall). She had Alzheimer's and my brother (God bless him) took care of her until she died (it took over 8 years and was not easy). She was of no more use so was forgotten.
• 

  Golden Girl

  Well..I sure like the part about "Being a Bit*h!"..I will probably turn into one very soon!

  Jerry..and Wednesday...I just can't understand how they can do this!..They ued to have so many articles in their magazines about helping others in need!..And when they are sick..they turn their back on them? I really am shocked. When I went to the hall many years ago..back in the 50's and 60's..calling on those sick were very important. We would clean their house..run errands..watch the kids..

  I remember one lady that went blind. We all took turns staying with her. We broke it up in half days and nights..Then one of her non JW relatives came into the picture and moved her into a nursing home..She died not too long after that. She wanted to stay in her home so bad. But we looked after the sick. And comforted the grieving.

  So I really am surprised. I can not believe they haven't come here yet.

  We left hubby and his Mom and her JW friend alone for a while..I knew they would want to talk religion. He told me later that the other lady said a prayer..he said she covered her head!..They also convinced him that Jehovah forgives.And he would be OK. He told some one a long time ago... when he was inactive... that he "Used to be a JW". So he thinks Jehovah doesn't like him any more.He thought that was the "unforgivable sin". And that is why the Brothers aren't coming to see him...Jehovah is punishing him..He really believes that!

  I considered asking the Social worker about counseling for me....but I'm afraid once I get started........

  Golden Girl...aka Snoozy..

  Edited by - Golden Girl on 20 January 2003 23:59:50
• 

  Solace

  Oh Snoozy,

  Hang in there hun.

  We are thinking about you.
• 

  Golden Girl

  They finally showed up!..Well ..one..finally showed up.

  They said his Mom kept calling!...No credit for me!..So whats new...

  Anyway..he was a very nice man..very king and a good speaker. Hubby could hear him good. I told him I was disassociated and he said ..he would be respectful. He was in my house and appreciated me letting him in..I told him I had ben keeping hubby up on the daily text but hadn't done it yet today. So he explained it very carefully to hubby.

  I then excused myself saying I had things to do. He tried real hard to get me to stay...but I declined!....

  He started coughing so I brought him some water..then he was still kind of choking so I brought him a cough drop..he must think I am Florence Nightingale!.....

  At the end of about a half hour visit..he asked hubby if he wanted a prayer, and..hubby said "YES PLEASE!" Asked if he could come back..again...hubby said.. "YES PLEASE"..so he will be coming once a week!..I hope hubby feels better now. ...

  Snoozy......

  Nice man..to bad he's a witness.......
• 

  mouthy

  Dear GG. I am hoping you are looking after yourself..PLEASE let the Pastor come & give you an hearing ear. YOU need someone at this time--- I know! I had no one at the time I was doing what your doing-Just as long as you have some one you can honestly share with .Tell her about your "wondering" is God is around..... She will understand-I hope tomorrow wil be an easier day.. I am keeping you in my prayer & Hubby...(((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
• 

  Golden Girl

  Hi Mouthy...did you call the pastor?

  She called this morning and I swear I don't know why but I can't talk about the religion without crying!...What his Mom and the other relatives and Him are doing must really be getting to me. Or maybe it's just him being so sick..Probably both~..

  Anyway..she was very nice and said the Social worker had thought I might like a visit!...I asked her if she told her I needed a padded cell?..She laughed!..She is going to call me next week and set something up..I guess I will have her come when Hubby is napping.

  Hubby's cousin came to visit today and hubby didn't want to see him. He stayed in bed. So his cousin was leaving.(Later) and went in to say good-by..and when he came out he just broke down and started sobbing!..I felt so sorry for him.They were almost raised together...same age.... He saw hubby right after he got out of the hospital but was shocked at how he looked. I keep forgetting because I am watching him change.

  My daughter (Daughter #2)also let me go shopping . Her boss gave her the day off to help me!.I hadhospice fax him a letter naming her as my back up caregiver. So he is giving her time off each week to help me..So I refilled the fridge (again) and went to the post office and got a baby monitor!...now he can just call me instead of ringing that darn BELL! --Ding Dong! It also lets me talk to him...tell him I will be there in a minute.

  So back to cousin...he brought a whole lot of pictures that his sister put together of hubby and his cousin and their families growing up and wanted to show them to hubby. After he left I told hubby about it and he was sad. He really wanted to see the pictures.So his cousin is coming back next week to show them to him!...That is the first time I have seen him interested in anything for quite a while! Made me smile!

  I also called his wife. She has been taking care of her invalid mother for over two years now. She is house bound a lot too. We talked for over an hour and it felt so good to talk to someone that could understand what it is like!. I enjoyed the distraction. Sometimes it just gets to be too much! The sadness can be unbearable! You have to get away sometimes!...No matter how much you love them!

  ps..Today was an easier day!..And am looking forward to tomorrow...we will have no visitors..hopefully... he can just relax!..and maybe I can squeeze a (gentle) hug out of him...

  Snoozy....
• 

  Shakita

  got a baby monitor!...now he can just call me instead of ringing that darn BELL! --Ding Dong! It also lets me talk to him...tell him I will be there in a minute.

  Good idea. Wish I had thought of this with my Dad. My Dad could not speak near the end and he use to tap on the metal hospital bed side bar to get my attention. I was always so close in the next room, but the monitor is a great idea!

  (((((golden girl)))))) hang in there.

  Mrs. Shakita