Best Comeback when being Counselled

Stephanus

I've had a chuckle at all the "dumbest counselling" anecdotes. Now, what was your best/funniest comeback line (and the line that inspired it) when you were being counselled by someone who plainly didn't know what he was going on about?

kelpie

i was always too scard to stand up to them

Buster

During post-meeting socializing a couple of us teenagers were talking to an MS - 'Bruce.' Well another MS, 'Tony' thought he overheard Bruce say something untoward, lord knows what, and pulled Bruce aside. Well Tony was up in Bruce's face with his most self-righteously indignant "As a Servant of Jehovah and a Ministerial Servant in this congregation I demand you tell me what you just told those boys!"

What did Bruce say? "Go shit in your hat Tony."

Bruce was mostly a dickhead, but I liked that one.

Scully

A newly baptized brother took it upon himself to offer me counsel about my clothes being "too revealing" (they weren't!).

I said, "Well, let's take a walk over there, and you can explain to Brother so-and-so (the PO) and my husband why you're looking at a married sister in a way that makes you concerned about her clothing being too revealing!"

I don't think I've ever seen anyone SO QUICKLY remember an urgent chore that had to be attended to IMMEDIATELY.

LMAOOOOOOOO

Love, Scully

Elsewhere

Some friends* and I were at a gathering and cracking jokes back and forth... Sister Nosey B*tch came up to us and demanded to know who wrote something "unchristian" on a piece of paper that we had on a table in front of us.

I knew who wrote it... but was not about to tell her who.

I told her to stop acting like a Pharisee... she just looked at me with a look of total shock. But what was she gonna do about it? She was supposed to be submissive to men, not to mention I was an MS as the time.

She just stormed away in a state of confusion and anger.

* These "friends" of mine turned their backs on me as soon as I DAed myself. Ironically, when we were kids, I would sneak over to their house and play with them even though their parents were DFed. At one point they expressed to me how I was a "true friend" because I would sneak over to play with them.

Big Tex

When I was in therapy and dealing with my abusive childhood, the CO came over to my house to "encourage" me. However, since I was asking questions, and not meekly saying "Thank you sir may I have another", he quickly lost his temper and told me to shut up or else he would see to it that I was DF'd. I then asked him if the letters F.O. meant anything to him. His eyes widened and he stuttered something unintelligible. I then asked him if he knew what it was like to get F*#@@ in the ass. His face reddened. I then told him to never come to my house again unless he knew what the hell he was talking about.

It should have felt better than it did, but I really angry at the time.

zev

one of my "fun times" in the troof.

after i stepped down as a m.s. i slacked off in my "service" to the wtbts "mother" organization. my field service time dropped like a rock to a mere hour. if that!

i was still a attendent and a mike "handler" ( i liked doing that, but thats a story i'll save for another area on the forum-to "adult" for this subject).

well the new po was appointed to "straighten" out the wrongs in our corrupt congregation.

i'm not one to mince words.

now you have the recipie for what follows.

they drag me down stairs one sunday and into the THIRD school, and told me they were revoking my "privledges" because i wasn't setting an example and i wasn't turning in the congregation average for time, 10 hours.

i sat listening to all this, (mind you this po was a kid in my old congregation growning up, and i still reminded him until i left of the wildly syrian provocative dancing he did with a see through scarf with ALL the ladies in a circle around him i'm pure evil at times ) anywho....

when they were finished i just sat there and said one sentence and got up and walked out.

"what took you so damn long?"

and out i went.

that was a proud moment in my life

Edited by - zev on 16 January 2003 20:33:27

bigred

This is Mulan.............out of posts...........AGAIN!!!

This was priceless. About 6 years ago, we were called in to answer to the elders, because our niece's husband lodged a complaint against us. In the letter, accusing us, was the statement that I had told our niece that the NWT added God's name to the Greek scriptures. One of the elders asked me "Did you tell her that?"

My reply: "I thought everyone knew that. It's right in the Divine Name brochure. I can't remember when I didn't know that." Man, was he red. He was an old man, who had been a witness for 50 years, and was the PO at the congregation. The other elder said he thought I was probably right. I absolutely loved it.

We walked out, in good standing, and I think they were hesitant to ever call us in again, because they never did. It became obvious, a few minutes into our meeting, that we knew a whole lot more about what they believe than they did. A few months later, we walked out forever.

Our niece has divorced that husband, (divorce granted a week ago) and is now out of the borg. YAY!! Three of her four adult children won't talk to her anymore, but we all hope they will eventually recognize their loss, and come around. She posts here as Inky.

Prisca

This is Mulan.............out of posts...........AGAIN!!!

Why don't you set up a second account then?

CyrusThePersian

Hi!

Zev's comment above reminds me of one time when I was an elder I spotted one of the mike handlers taking advantage of his position to look down the fronts of the sister's dresses while holding the mike. After the meeting I took him to the back of the hall and said, "You had better be sneakier than that or somebody's gonna bust your a$$" I think he got the message, but he never looked at me the same way again. I stepped down shortly after that so I assume he went back to his evil ways.

Cyrus

Best Comeback when being Counselled

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