One day they will find Ousama, and they will ask, "Where have you been laden"?
Who has a joke to tell?
Who has a joke to tell?
by JH 12 Replies latest jw friends
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Elsewhere
Q: Guess what?
A: Chicken Butt
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email
Q: What has 132 legs and 8 teeth?
A: The front row of a Garth Brooks concert!
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email
I don't like to Stereotype ... but this is too funny:
How do you keep a blond busy?(see below)
How do you keep a blond busy?(see above)
Edited by - email on 22 January 2003 19:17:13
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Mackin
Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for companionship.
One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother. Cinderella said "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?" The Fairy Godmother replied "Well Cinderella, since you have lived a good, wholesome life since we last met, I have decided to grant you 3 wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?"
Cinderella is taken aback, overjoyed and after some thoughtful consideration and almost under her breath she uttered her first wish: "I wish I was wealthy beyond comprehension." Instantly, her rocking chair was turned into solid gold. Cinderella was stunned. Alan, her old faithful cat, jumped off her lap and scampered to the edge of the porch, quivering with fear. Cinderella said "Oh thank you, Fairy God Mother".
The Fairy Godmother replied "It is the least I can do. What does your heart wish for your second wish?" Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said: "I wish I was young and full of the beauty of youth again". At once, her wish having been desired, became reality, and her beautiful youthful visage had returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside her that had been dormant for years and long forgotten vigour and vitality began to course through her very soul.
Then the Fairy Godmother again spoke "You have one more wish, what shall you have?" Cinderella looked over to the frightened cat in the corner and said, "I wish you to transform Alan my old cat into a beautiful, and handsome young man". Magically, Alan suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up, that when complete he stood before her, a young man, so beautiful the like of which she nor the world had ever seen, so fair indeed that birds begun to fall from the sky at his feet.
The Fairy Godmother again spoke: "Congratulations, Cinderella. Enjoy your new life." And, with a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, she was gone. For a few eerie moments, Alan and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes.
Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most stunningly perfect young man she had ever seen. Then Alan walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, and held her close in his young muscular arms. He leant in close to her ear, and into her ear breathed as much as whispered, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath, "I bet you regret having me de-sexed now, don't you?"
Mackin.
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Buster
So the Doctor looks at his hand and says, "Thermometer? So where's my pen?"
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Bendrr
What's the difference between an SUV (or your pet-peeve-vehicle) and a porcupine?
The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
Got this one from the comedian Bruce Baum on the Lex and Terry morning radio show. He's working on a movie about a classical musician. It's got elements from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", "Harry Potter", and "The Pianist". (obvious punchline!) It's called "My Big Fat Harry Pianist".
What did the snail say when it rode on the turtle's back?
"Wheeeeeee!"
Mike.
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happyout
This is bad, but I think it's really funny. I posted it in a different forum earlier:
A new holiday :Every 14th of February you get the chance to display yourfondness for your wife or girlfriend by showering her withgifts, flowers, dinner, shows and any other baubles that womenfind romantic.
Secret...guys feel left out. That's right...left out. There's nospecial holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation forthe men in their life. Men as a whole are either too proud orjust too embarrassed to admit it. Which is why a new holiday hasbeen created.
March 20th is now officially "Steak & Blowjob Day."
Simple, effective and self-explanatory...this holiday has beencreated so your ladies can have a day to show your man just howmuch you love him. No cards, no flowers, no special nights onthe town-the name of the holiday explains it all...just a steakand a BJ. That's it. This twin pairing of Valentine's Day andSteak & Blowjob Day will usher in a new age of love as meneverywhere will try THAT much harder in February to ensure amore memorable March! It's like a perpetual love machine.
The word is already spreading, but as with any new idea, itneeds a little push to start the ball rolling. So spread theword, and help bring love and peace to this crazy world.
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willdabeerman
lmao. i will mark my calender for 3-20.lol
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Warrigal
This one appears now and then in the local dog club newsletter:
DOGGIE PROPERTY LAWS
1. If I like it, its mine.
2. If its in my mouth, its mine
3. If I can take it from you, its mine
4. If I had it a little while ago, its mine
5. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way
6. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks like mine, its mine.
8. If I saw it first, its mine
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If its broken, its yours.