Maybe there will be "New Light" that Christ's invisible presence/coming/whatever started in, um, 1975, so we have a whole new generation to wait around.
Nina
BIG SURPRISE at upcoming International Conventions
by Smiles 43 Replies latest social current
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cruzanheart
If the GB thinks like the government, they'll try to do something to distract people from the real issues of child abuse and control. Remember "Wag the Dog"?
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NameWithheld
I think cruzanheart is on to something. It'll be a "Look over here! See this bright shiny object? Ignore that mess in the corner ... look at the pretty bright shiny object ... "
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RubaDub
From my inside source, these are several of the issues
1. Based on success of the 15 minute rule, it is being reduced to 10 minutes
2. A new Rollover Plan will permit unused minutes to be rolled over to subsequent months within same service year for those with one year of service
3. Due to declining revenues, naming rights will be used at District and Circuit Assemblies. Examples given included "Lovers of God District Assembly by Panasonic ... and ... Millenium of Peace District Assembly by Coca Cola
4. Sponsorship will also be given to the Announcement portion after the song in the middle of the program (the time when nobody is sure whether so stand or sit). It will be worded such as "After the song, the Ford Motor Company, builders of fine quality cars for over 90 years, invites you to remain standing for Announcements"
***** Rub a Dub
Edited by - RubaDub on 24 January 2003 15:15:56
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BeelzeDub
I think they will be giving a talk on "millions now living will never die!"
Oh yeah, that was already done millions of deaths ago.
Maybe a new Daniel book where they will name "the king of the north" as north Korea.
Oh yeah, they got burnt on that one before too.
-BD
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Ed
New light: In accordance with the command in Luke 6:23, which says to "rejoice in that day and leap, for, look! you reward is great in heaven", all meetings will now include a five minute leaping session in between the song and the prayer, during which the congregation will be required to demonstrate how joyful they are by jumping up and down.
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Nathan Natas
I'm thinking that they'll announce that since 1914, Jesus has been working away in heaven, preparing a buffet lunch for the attendees at THIS convention. (Because Jesus works in an oxygen-free environment at close to absolute zero, nothing spoils).
"That's right, brothers and sisters, the Faithful Fruitbags and Holy Hoagies are here among us TODAY!" (the crowd cheers unenthusiastically)
"...and because of this, we are lifting the restrictions on the amount of toilet paper that can be used at each 'sitting" (the crowd goes wild)
"The apostate scoffers stand in awe of Jehovah's abundant smorgasbord of finished-mystery-meat and holier-than-thou-swiss-cheese hoagies, scrumptuous fruitbags and squeezably soft bathroom tissue!
What? No wafer-thin mints?
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NameWithheld
3. Due to declining revenues, naming rights will be used at District and Circuit Assemblies. Examples given included "Lovers of God District Assembly by Panasonic ... and ... Millenium of Peace District Assembly by Coca Coca
4. Sponsorship will also be given to the Announcement portion after the song in the middle of program (the time when nobody is sure whether so stand or sit). It will be worded such as "After the song, the Ford Motor Company, builders of fine quality cars for over 90 years, invites you to remain standing for Announcements"
LOL RubaDub! You'r killing me today!
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Mulan
The one thing we all know, for sure, is that we will find out whatever it is, here.............FIRST. Hahahahhaha.
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DevonMcBride
I'm not JW and have no family that is so if this sounds like a stupid question you'll know why.
When are these International Conventions and where are they held?