ROTFLMAO@ marvin, *that* was funny
FARTING IN THE KINGDOM HALL.
by nightwarrior 37 Replies latest jw experiences
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outoftheorg
Good grief Marvin. Hope it didn't smell like that when you ate it.
Outoftheorg of the I done that also class.
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jws
I seem to remember some of the people in the audience suffering my bombs more than once. Some of the funniest were when I was doing microphone duty. Because of the length of the aisles, you'd have to make your way into the aisle and then stretch with the microphone pole to reach the people in the middle. So your ass is right behind the heads of the people in the next row and you're standing right in front of some other people. And then, while stretching and bending over with the microphone pole, sometimes nature would call. Man, how embarassing when a noisy one would slip by. What were the people thinking when they hear a fart right behind their heads?
Or the SBD (silent but deadly) ones. You're trying to keep a straight face and hold this microphone right at someones mouth while trying not to laugh as the people you're standing in front of start catching a whiff and are starting to react and give you dirty looks. Luckily, as soon as the comment was over, I could leave the situation, leaving the poor folks in their seats to suffer.
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Mystla
LOL, calamityjane, We had a brother who did the same thing, no one would sit in front of him.. he'd pick his nose, I'm talking knuckle deep, and then examine what he found there like it was some kind of treasure.. roll it around it his fingers for a bit.. then, flick.. it would go sailing!
He was the same age as me, and I was 20 when I moved from this particular Hall, and he was still doing it then. Four year olds get in trouble for this kind of behavior! My Bro-in-law was an Elder in this hall, I asked him why no one talked to this brother about his... um.. problem. Bro-in-law said they had talked to him numerous times, but it wasn't anything they could discipline him for, so their hands were tied.. hmmm.. to bad they couldn't tie the brothers hands.
Mystla
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RAYZORBLADE
Well ya know...I laughed so hard I...um...well...you know...
No matter what, everyone at one time or another, has had to endure not only someone elses bodily oopsie-daisy or their own.
No kidding about kids, they are pure unadulterated rascals. They'll do anything from doing the 'real' thing to placing their hands under their armpits.
Makes you wonder why on earth, most Kingdom Halls, did not have: WINDOWS
Air...I need air.
I do recall one incident, which was really cute, and it happened back in Atlantic Canada where someone accidentally let on rip. Well, everyone started to snicker, and before you know it, the brother on stage, was bold enough to make a cute comment which sent everyone into hysterics. He acknowledged someones 'noise' and let everyone laugh, get it over with, and on with the study.
It can be, painfully funny sometimes though. As much as you'd try to keep yourself from laughing, it was all you could do to keep it in (laughter, as well as...you know).
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musky
I, For one, Think this whole thread stinks.
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Etude
The only specific experience I can recall regarding farting in the Kingdom Hall, aside from the occasional stealthy odorific breeze that I might have encountered while sitting or going up and down the isle with a microphone, has to do with a child, of course. She was (about 6 years of age) sitting somewhere in the middle of the Hall next to her mother. I was sitting about 2 or 3 rows behind where I could actually see her. It was a Sunday afternoon Watchtower study, you know, when you're kinda groggy and bored and the subject is not too interesting. Somewhere in the middle of the hour, I could see the little girls shoulders shake a bit. She was in the middle of a heave to let out this big sneeze. Unfortunately, she tried to contain it and it backfired. I guess she was packing a lot of punch in it because she almost seemed to lift off the chair at the same time the rumble from her backside echo through the Hall and kinda woke everybody up. She quickly turned to her mother in an explicative manner and said: "Mommy, it just came out!" I lost it right then and there, although I was able to compose myself just long enough to walk out and not have a "back firing" experience myself.
Etude.
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TR
This "sh*t" is hilarious! God, that pic! Can't stop giggling like a little girl.
TR
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footprints
<sarcasm>
What were guys doing looking at other people or even smelling the air!?!You should be ashamed! You were supposed to have been paying attention to the talk!!!
</sarcasm>
