Have You Been Divorced?

Outaservice

Divorce is much more common in the Jehovah's Witness community than they would like to admit. Probably more so than the population in general.

If you have been divorced do you think that the Watchtower Society contributed to the divorce, or caused it, or is it just possible you married some jerk or abuser and divorce would have occured no matter what religion you were, or even if you had no religion?

Possibly you got married way too young as the end was coming and there is no marriage in the resurrection if you died. Possibly you were worried that you might commit fornication and be disfellowshipped if you did not marry right away.

Would you take your spouse back if the JW's were not in the picture? (That is provided you are not remarried)

Outaservice (Who is very happy with his present ex-Special Pioneer/ex-JW wife)

justhuman

Not yet but the WT will contributed for my divorce because I'm an apostate...

calamityjane

I've been divorced. I was married to a brother back in 1976. I was 18, he was 19. My thoughts at that time were if we didn't get along during our marriage, that armageddon was just around the corner and everything would be okay and we would live happily ever after. OH HOW WRONG I WAS

Don't get me wrong I did love the guy, but as things were it didn't work out, he was not ready for marriage. I believe the only reason he got married was so that he could get out from under his elder father, do what he wanted to do, so he wouldn't have to answer to anybody. He never wanted to spend time with me, he fooled around on me behind my back. We did get divorced in 1979, the year I had his child. I was able to remarry a wonderful guy as my found my ex in bed with another woman so I was free to marry

P.S. I believe the 1975 timeline caused a lot of problems.

Englishman

I was married to a JW, it lasted for 3 years.

We had absolutely nothing in common, we came from incredibly different backgrounds. She thought that my family were snobs, I thought that hers were.. well, a bit rough around the edges.

The only reason that we met in the first place was because of the JW connection.

Strangely, 31 years down the line, we are actually on speaking terms again, brought about by my daughter.

Englishman.

jazbug

I was married for 26 yrs, 22 of those years as JW's. I ws 17 and he waws 18 when we were married and it was becuase of being JW's that we stayed married so long. He had a lengthy affair and when I found out, divorced him and he da'd himself but has been reinstated for about the past 6-7 yrs.

I don't think divorces in JW's are nearly as prominent as in the general public...I thin the %age is 52 or 54 now. It is far less than that in JW's altho I am sure it happens much more than the WT would like people to think. However, that doesn't mean MORE JW's are happily married than others, just that they more often stay married and live miserable lives.

ashitaka

I knew a guy who married a JW, fooled around behind her back, got divorced, remarried, fooled around behind the back of that woman, and then died alone from a heart attack in some boarding house. They didn't find his corpse for three weeks.

I'll tell you, a scumbag like this guy had it coming. And, of couse, they reinstated this guy every time, no matter what he did, because he knew people.

Fe2O3Girl

My JW marriage ended in divorce. When we married I was 19 and he was 25. I got married because I wanted to have sex, I had had a crush on him since I was 14 and I thought I was in love. I don't know why he married me, apart from to have sex. He was psychologically incapable of being a loving husband. Being a JW certainly gave him plenty of justification for his behaviour.

The fact that I had continued my education and could support myself certainly gave me the means to leave him. I really dread to think what would have become of me if I had been a good JW pioneer wife with no job. That is why JW women should not have careers.

I have seen the WT use the statistic which shows that couples who do not have sex before marriage are much less likely to divorce. I believe that this is not because those couples have happier, healthier marriages, but rather because they are from backgrounds where divorce (and sex before marriage) is frowned upon.

The Watchtower did not directly cause my divorce. It directly caused the marriage in the first place, and certainly did not contribute anything positive to my married life.

I am remarried, and very happy with my husband who has never had any religious influence in his life. I would not want to be in the same town as my ex husband with or without the influence of the WT, and I would not consider re-establishing a relationship with him if he was the last man on earth and my life depended on it.

TresHappy

No, I dated several guys while I was in the borg. I am sure there were some good guys around, but they were gobbled up by other ladies. The guys I dated were so childish and didn't know how to treat a lady. I really don't think it was their fault, as I don't think they knew any different. I did marry some years later after leaving the WT and if I ever find myself alone again, I am just going to fornicate.

Edited by - TresHappy on 6 February 2003 9:51:55

YoursChelbie

Hello,

Interesting that you should ask.

Right now I am about to venture into the final stages of my divorce and yes...

the Watchtower religion was the primary and overwhelming cause of the break up.

I, as the custodial parent of my two children, will teach them what the Watchtower Society and their biological father never could: namely, tolerance and respect for all people regardless of their chosen religion or lack thereof. I will never lead them to believe that I will cease to speak to them as if they were non-existent (if, God forbid, they became members later on) just because some men in Brooklyn misapply and twist the Bible to further their own harsh, fanatical cult.

If he gave up the religion would I take him back? No. Simply because during the 11 years that we were married his personality became more and more self-righteous and hateful. That will not go away just because he leaves this religion. Moreover, he never admitted that the Watchtower Society was involved with the UN or had any share of the blame for reports of child abuse such as those well documented in Dateline and other sources. Someone who is stubborn and unreasonable does not make a good husband under any circumstances.

YoursChelbie

calamityjane

Fe203Girl. your post is exactly my sentiments. I didn't go too much into detail with my earlier post. But I wouldn't want to see my ex if he was the last man on earth too. Only if I could choke him.

When we divorced in 1979 and I gave birth to our daughter, he would have nothing to do with us. He said that I was the one who fooled around and it wasn't his baby. Well needless to say it was his. So I went on with my life, got remarried in 1984, left the borg in 1994. He had been disfellowshipped after I left him, he eventually got reinstated and back in good standing with the borg. What I really hate, is the fact that because since I left the borg, my jw parents and jw brother and his wife were instrumental in bringing a reunion between my daughter and my ex when she was 18 years, because now he accepts her as his daughter. Of course he didn't have to pay support for her any more. scumbags.

Have You Been Divorced?

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