I miss being a JW (page 4)

xjw_b12

Joelbear HUH Are you shiitin us or what. I want to hear more, before I reply further !

If you're serious, I'm going to hunt you down and slap you into consciousness !

I have to say I am very suspect of your post. Are you trying to pull a farkel ?

Preston

Joel, the dream's over. You've woken up just like the rest of us.

The whole thing is just a phisod,

a show

a picture

It's just wasn't possible.

It's a place for dreamers. For people who think that you can survive without education, that you can be a full time minister without pay, that you can let people who you never met in your life have the final word on every single aspect of your existence.

Skeptics need not apply.

It's a place for actors, people who can put on the appearance that everything's okie-dokie, because that's what makes them feel accepted. Once you step out of the fantasy people don't want anything to do with you anymore. It's like your the guy who spoiled the party by adding a hint of irony to it. In your case, the irony was you were a devout JW who just happened to be attracted to men. You don't need to look to hard to realize that you inadvertintly just put a monkey wrench in their belief system. They judge people who contradict their little fantasy by removing the player.

This is the real world, I know you miss the comfort JW's provided, but it was all a falsity. Please Joel, don't go back...

Edited by - Preston on 9 February 2003 13:10:30

freedom96

One of the things the WTS preys on is the idea that if one leaves the organization, they will have no life. You see constantly on stage at assemblies about how horrible life was away from the congregation.

For me, I created a life for myself and my family outside the WTS. I have new friends, real ones. I allow things in life to fulfill me. I enjoy what I do for work, I enjoy my marriage, I love my kids, and cherish the real friendships I now have.

Maybe that is the key. Perhaps you have not allowed yourself to go on, to create a wonderful life for yourself. There is so much more that life has to offer besides the WTS. They tear people down instead of uplifting them.

It is human nature to desire to feel a part of something, and to feel accepted. I encourage you to find that far away from a destructive force like the Watchtower. You will be amazed at what you find. For those that refuse to follow along, I feel pity for them. But you need to take steps out there on your own.

Best Wishes.

Soledad

joel are you kidding??

LovesDubs

Joel Joel Joel...honey, you have struggled so much, for too long to have comfort, hope, love, a sense of belonging SOMEPLACE. But you know...deep down you do...that the JWs are NOT the people who are going to give you all of those things. In fact they will make the situation WORSE for you. I used to be married to a very physically, mentally and emotionally abusive man. I knew the guy 5 years before I married him, and was married to him for 4 years...and never knew the abusive part of him until after the "I do's"...same with the JWs...had no clue who I was dealing with until AFTER the love bombing stopped and the baptism was done. But I made a BIG mistake...after escaping from that man, I began to fall for his whooing me back with promises of being "better" next time, if I would only give him a chance...that he would show me. So..I went out with him, I lowered my defenses, I went to dinner and we had drinks and he was sooooo sweet...and I brought him back to my apartment, which I had been making sure he didnt know the location of. Upon entering he started to destroy the place, screaming at me how I didnt DESERVE anything I had and before he left he had put his foot through the wall and broken several things..including me.

I saw CLEARLY CLEARLY then...and finally then....that my leaving him was the BEST thing I could have done, and inviting him back was my WEAKNESS and inability to make it ON MY OWN. I had been willing, no matter whta the COST to invite a TOXIC RELATIONSHIP back into my life just to avoid having to start all over again...so afraid I was of failing that. From that point forward, I grabbed my own emotional bootstraps and made my own way. And after I left the JWs....I never looked back. But I had to BREAK those emotional ties...or the bungy cord would keep pulling me back, as it has you. Those people...those relationships are smoke rings, and mirages babe.

Dont let your emotions and false sentimentality rule your heart honey...find your way AWAY from them. We would all be crushed if you fell back into their trap...and were irreparably hurt by their cruelty and self indulging judgementalism...and you KNOW thats whats going to happen. You deserve sooooooooooo much better. Please dont do this.

Love Dawn

Joker10

Why don't you attend a meeting? It should give you a better picture of what you need. Good luck.

Shakita

Joelbear,

We are all more comfortable with the devil we know than with the devil we don't know. Being with the JW's represents an abusive relationship. It is all one sided and depends upon our total and unquestioned faith in the Faithful and Discreet Slave. Even in an abusive relationship a person can feel a sense of security, albeit a warped and perverted relationship.

I would say unquestionably that there are many good and decent people among the JW's. Over the years some have come to the aid of me and my family. There have been some elders that showed true loving kindness and concern for the sheep in their midst. I know a few elders that have visited the sick, the elderly, the depressed and the financially hardbitten ones and have tried to sincerely help them. I am truly indebted to such kind and caring people that are trying to imitate Christ's example in their lives.

That being said, once we know the truth about the Watchtower Society, there is no going back. Our time with them and our trust in them has been totally shattered. They lied to us about their true history and the fact that God was directing them. The WT was like the Wizard of Oz that seemingly had power and authority to give us our every wish if we just obeyed them. However, when the curtain was drawn back, we were horrified to see crippled and decrepit old men devoid of power and bereft of the power of God.

I know what you are feeling. I'm struggling with those same feelings every day. There are still persons that I love dearly and it hurts to have to withdraw from them. I too miss the sense of security and the sense of camaraderie that sometimes existed. More often than not though, me and my family were often shunned because we were not the perfect JW family. WE WERE LONELY WHILE STILL ATTENDING THE MEETINGS AND PARTICIPATING IN THE FIELD SERVICE BECAUSE WE NEVER LIVED UP TO BEING THE IDEAL WITNESS. WE WERE SHUNNED WHILE STILL BEING CONSIDERED ACTIVE WITNESSES.

When you love someone dearly and they die unexpectedly, shouldn't we take time to grieve them? Well, it's no different when we leave the JW's. In a sense, we have died. We are mourning all those things that we at one time held dear, but can no longer have access to. We need to take time to grieve. Remember though, that what we believed in was a delusion. I'm not talking about all the promises of the Bible, but I'm talking about all the empty promises of the WT Society.

Some believe that the JW's are a cult and some believe that they are a high control group. Whatever you believe, there are strong emotions that someone exiting these groups experience. One emotion is a strong desire to return to the security of the group. The reason you may desire to return is because the WT claimed to have all the answers. That is a lie, a deception. No one person or group has all the answers. Life is filled with uncertainties, fears, and anxieties.

When we leave a high control group we are forced to confront something that we may have been avoiding. We may well have been avoiding our fears. We may have felt that we couldn't conquer our fears alone. That is another lie put forth by the WT to ensure complete dependence on them. You are capable of facing your fears and moving on with your life.

There is a web site that may help you through some of the things that you are going through. It is www.refocus.org Take a few minutes to read through the site. You will be surprised to learn that others leaving high control groups or cults are going through the same things that you are going through. Hang in there Joelbear, you are stronger than you think.

Mr. Shakita

SLOAN

Joelbear,

I hope that you find happiness in whatever you decide to do!! Ponder over things very carefully.

JH

No one here can tell you what to do. You're the only one that can decide what to do. If you feel safe and happy as a JW, then go full speed ahead.

Many are still sitting on the fence, and some days they lean towards one side and other days lean on the other side. Everybody is different, and you have the right to be different.

Go to a couple of meetings, and give us news.

DanTheMan

I think that some people (myself included) are fundamentally incapable of dealing with reality, life on life's terms to use 12-stepper jargon.

JWism, fundamentalism, really any controlling relationship has a way of taking the edge off of reality.

I mean, let's face it - life for the most part is tragic.

I kinda wish that I had faded last year instead of doing a big drama queen DA, because right now I am sooo jonesing for the security I felt as a JW, but lord knows I can't set foot into a KH anywhere near where I live being a demonized apostate and all. I think going to a few meetings right now might be good for me, to remind me of why just one year ago I left in disgust.

If you want to go back for a while Joelbear, I say more power to you. Sometimes we forget what it was REALLY like. I know that in my case, in spite of all that I have come to know about JW's, I still pine for that tribal atmosphere. I am a full-blown narcissist, this I have come to learn from researching on the internet and elsewhere, and cults are taylor-made for people like me who see themselves as being unique and special and somehow better than other people.

This post is kind of rambling, I'm not in a very good state of mind today.

I miss being a JW

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