Well I have to say that I could have not said that any better Sadi. Truly you took the words out of my mouth. My husband and I have been shunned for a awhile now, and it truly does hurt me. I get jealous of other people I work with when I hear them enjoying church gatherings/simply going to church. When I enter into a Kingdom Hall, I feel unwelcomed, unworthy and I get the worse anxiety attacks. I have been baptized for over ten years, was extremely active, now I do consider myself inactive, the reason being, I feel no love in this religion. When you feel depressed, everyone thinks your crazy for feeling that way, and they want you to quit your job and go full time in the field service, well I wish life was that easy to do, I mean there is something called Mortgage to pay, Car Insurance, Health Insurance, in other words...Bills Bills Bills to pay. Seems like the ones in full time service are either the Rich, who own their own companies, or their spoiled offspring that never finished High School because it was too worldy. So their kids benefit from mom and dads money while Pioneering in their BMW's. Get my point Folks?
Let me tell you like it is, inorder to make it as a JW, you must either make it to all 5 meetings/put service time in. Or Have a Powerful job, Powerful friends, Powerful Money, then you can miss has many meeting as you want! See they say Make The Truth Your Own....Hmm I dont think so, its seems inorder to make it in Paradise, you must please the Sister or Brother next to you that has been in the Truth for 20 years+. I have never in my life seen so many stuck up people, and the arrogance oh my goodness the arrogance is something you feel 100 miles away. Why am I still going you say, Its called I have family in this religion, and I just do not know how I am going to be treated, I feel traped. I get so angry, because its sick that we go through this, is not church supposed to be where we are to feel good, and close to God? Even the worse sinners feel welcomed in other churches! Why not us I say, are we so bad? What did we do? If God is Love, why do I feel Hate? If Jesus died for us to give us life,t why do I feel that I am going to be destroyed? At the meetings I come out feeling im not worthy, im going to die, and to be honest with you all I get scared of Jehovah. JW's do not care if you are sick or down in the dumps, they just care if you make it to a damn meeting.
Does this sound familar "I had the worse day, my boss yelled at me, I have a headache, I think I am coming down with something..... Oh does that mean you will not be attending the meeting tonight? Think about it, how many times has that happend?