help please

by Scooby 28 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Marcos

  My take on the elders is that it IS, at root, a problem of jealousy and envy.

  While in Bethel in the early 70s we were permitted to have some weights in the Squibb building. However, we were discouraged from using them. We were viewed as immature (we WERE immature, we were kids with a lot of energy). They told us to, "work harder at the factory if you want muscles".

  The overseers were jealous, petty and vindictive. A friend of mine and I actually had to steal food from the kitchen in order to eat anythng resembling a balanced diet. It worked! In 4 months we both developed nicely. Then I left. My 4 years were up.

  It is always better to do what you want and not ask for approval. We have a saying here, "It's better to ask forgiveness than to ask for permission." I live by it.

  Hope you both can work it out and get the WT out of your lives.

  Marcos

  P.S. It was also insinuated that since we were into body building, we were borderline (or full-on) homosexuals! Laugh. The witch hunts of the 70's were an interesting time. I shudder at what they might have written about me. Love to see my record, the wankers.
• 

  Noumenon

  I found your experience re the bodybuilding side of it rather puzzling, especially the purported directive from bethel that it is not ok if it is just a 'hobby'.

  There is a friend in my former congo who i have known for years. He has never had many 'privileges' and has never sought to be a MS or elder, mainly cause he's just not the type and has always been a bit on the weaker side, but he has been majorly into bodybuilding for about 20 years now, and he has never had any trouble with the elders, except about 15 years ago when he was about 20 and got quite unbalanced with it, to the point of entering a competition for his region (where he came second). the elders had a wee chat and said he may be taking it a bit too seriously. He knew he was and backed off with the competition side of it, but frequents a local gym 3 times a week, talks a lot about it with other brothers quite a bit, and even works out with some of hte other younger bro's at him home where he has a lot of equipment. this brother is much loved by everyone and has never had any trouble since that time 15 years ago relating to his bodybuilding. You can tell he works out a lot cause he has massive arms and a large chest.

  I also had an ex girlfriend in the truth who had an older brother who was in fact an elder, and who for years had done a lot of weight-training and body building. He had his own gym set up at home, and was quite big.

  so it looks to me like the elders in your situation have adopted a pharasaic like attitude to your husband's 'hobby', and have gone beyond common sense, reasonable, and the scriptures in this regard. The bible does say it is beneficial 'for a little' so what could be healthier than a brother doing some bodybuilding, as long as it is not affecting him spiritually. It is in fact a great form of sublimation for all those randy young brothers trying to release some testosterone in healthy, morally safe ways. There was an article recently in one of hte Awake's I think about bodybuilding too, which i'm sure you've looked at.

  But are you telling us the whole story? Was your husband entering competitions? Even if he did that is a conscience thing of course, and certainly no elders should be coming down on him for that even.
• 

  Marcos

  So, can anyone enlighten me as to what might be wrong with entering a body building competition as to opposed to say, entering a tennis competition?
• 

  Carmel

  Nomenon, so what if he was entering competition. The elders pit one publisher against another, hold pioneers up as shining examples, in other words use competition all the time and think it is justified in doing "God's work". I was admonished for "competing" w/o any scriptural justification. Can you provide it?

  carmel
• 

  OUTLAW

  Hey Scooby,it`s not about bodybuilding with these morons.It`s about taking time away from peddling magazines.If your hubby was Icelands Champion Hula Dancer,the moron elders would have a problem with that..By the way,bodybuilding is a very cool sport.Tell your hubby not to let those assholes ruin it for him...OUTLAW
• 

  outoftheorg

  Noumenon I will have to disagree with you on the statement that "working out releases some testosterone".

  Being in good physical health did not cause my libido to lower. It was a well known fact among the group of weight lifters that I worked out with that ones libido was equal or mostly greater than when not lifting weight.

  If one is on a very severe program for lifting the heaviest weights on some competition it may do so.

  Working out to build strength and bulk never affected me or the others I knew.

  This forbiding of things by the elders, co's gb etc. is strictly a very unchristian, unhealthy act of domination of another to fill their ego requirements.

  Outoftheorg
• 

  BluesBrother

  Speaking as an ex "Skinny pencil necked elder", (Lol) I must say how I can relate to what you say.

  The fact is that appointments are made or witheld purely on the judgement ( read opinion) of the body of elders . If a man is well liked and seems to fit the bill, then the opinion of the sitting elders will adapt the scriptuaral requirements to him . If not, then their opinions will find something to disqualify him .

  The isue of body building has never been raised as an issue in my experience, many young brothers have done it without any criticism whatever. Although if your husband had entered competitions it may have been viewed as narcissism.

  The biggest mistake is to actually beleive the bulls***.t about holy spirit being involved . that is rubbish . Your husband was turned down by petty little men, not by god

  Please help your husband to see this , the previous suggestion to read C of C is a good one if he will do so.

  Welcome to the board Scooby. You are now with friends who understand and have been there ourselves. It is clear that you love him He is lucky to have you. !!
• 

  confuzcious

  This thread makes me so angry because I know how you feel.

  I was a bodybuilder too for many years.

  I pioneered for 9 years and worked hard to be an elder.

  The guy I studied with as a pioneer became an elder before me. I was never an elder.

  I have a sucessful business and have a measure of fame. I have a full time limousine driver and drive a few very expensive cars incuding a very sporty convertible. Two doors of course.

  Outside of the limo, all of this was acquired while pioneering.

  So the excuse why I wasn't a pioneer? I wasn't seeking the kingdom enough.
• 

  confuzcious

  Scooby,

  I can't help reading over your post again and getting so angry.

  Just know that your situation is not unique.

  And please don't buy into that "you can't stumble a sheep bit."

  Translation - "It's your fault."

  The petty rule making has ruined marriages and broken up families. It sets those on high that can follow these rules.

  Don't you see this?
• 

  Navigator

  Your original question was "Do you know a good counselor?". I know an excellent counselor in the DFW area who specializes in dealing with the "walking wounded" both in and out of the WTBTS. He knows what the issues are and how the JWs operate.