I'm New (page 20)

stuckinarut2

Awesome pics! Haha

yes, what a difference a year can make to our confidence and self esteem!

jp1692

^^^ BTTT ^^^

Bumpin' it for lurkers and anyone leaving the JW religion or even just thinking about it.

Scan through this thread and see what an amazing transition we can go through from the terrifying first moments when we are "invited" to a judicial meeting to the empowering moment when we finally reclaim our lives and begin living for ourselves.

Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

Yeah! Paging @CampcO0perate. I see you there... Your thread, So Lonely and Isolated, was my MO for the longest time.

Here's what changed everything for me: I reached out on here. Just like you are now.

If I can in any way pass the torch of support, love and advice I received since my first post onto you, then we'll keep this chain of strength exactly that - strong.

All or nothing

I don't know how how I missed all of this last year- but better late than never just read all 20 pages at once and wow- love this so much. This forum is a truely encouraging hiding place from the wind! Sorry scriptures burned on the brain still. I want to say that even though we all contribute to it as much or as little as we can, it never fails to continue to support what path we are on. Wake me up- I agree with what you said about parents approval on another thread- this continues to be a huge issue for me, how have you been able to overcome this?

stuckinarut2

I'm so happy to see this thread revived again!

It proves that we can indeed grow and develop after leaving the cult.

@Wake Me inspires us daily

MightyV8

I'm glad this post has been revived.

Yes, I recall when Wake Me Up first started this thread, I would follow along daily as more and more posts went up the encouragement and help was astounding.

She seemed to me to be a very intelligent and sharp thinker.

As her number one fan, I follow her closely and have over the last 12 months seen her grow in understanding and wisdom along with a great sense of humour.

No longer will the wool be pulled over her eyes.

I agree wholeheartedly with stuckinarut 2

@Wake Me inspires us daily

Wake me up most recent post was very thought-provoking.

For such a young person shes got her head screwed on right.

You go, girl, you rock.

nic...ky

Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

All of you have made this the greatest year in my adult life. Thank you, @stuckinarut2 and @Unstuck for living up to your names and sticking by me. Thank you, @jp1692 for believing in me since the day I staggered onto this forum looking like a runaway from a Jacobean tragedy. Thank you, @MightyV8, for crushing feminism in your latest thread. I love you all.

@All or nothing: "I agree with what you said about parents approval on another thread- this continues to be a huge issue for me, how have you been able to overcome this?"

I killed them.

Lol, just kidding. But not when it comes to their symbolic death. Let's face it - the only thing forcing us into the closet as faded apostates around our loved ones is FEAR. Fear of disapproval, then the ultimate fear of shunning. So what I essentially did for my parents was drop the hammer for them.

For too long, they lorded fear of abandonment over me. No child wants to lose their parents, now, do they? This fear was used to constantly silence and manipulate me with their disrespectful proselytizing of Watchtower doctrine - in SPITE of knowing I'd preferred they did not. "If you ever get disfellowshipped for speaking against the organization, you'll live to regret it." So, not quite seven months ago, I did it for them.

I abandoned myself.

On their behalf, without them ever suspecting or preparing for it, I disappeared like the ghost of a disfellowshipped person. There was no suited up elder on the platform making a grim announcement. No lead up of elder's meetings. No shepherding calls preparing my parents to shun me. No nothing. I just stopped the text messages, the phone calls and the weekly visits. And like our awakening crystalizes with each week we've faded from the Watchtower, my fade from my parents made me see with naked eyes just how toxic, unhealthy and detrimental conditional love truly is.

By short circuiting Watchtower's disfellowshipping protocol, my parents' fuse broke. Over the last six months, I've received a steady stream of pleas in the form of text messages and emails - none to which are satisfactory enough to warrant a reply from me. My parents really want to be that diaphanous in exploiting Watchtower's loophole over a f*cking title (Disfellowshipped versus Inactive)?! Try harder, because that still doesn't qualify as unconditional love.

The tables have now turned and the standards have been redefined. Until my parents are humble enough to recognize just how immoral the whole threat of shunning is, they no longer qualify as the kind of individuals I'd like to spend my time with. It's like being the mistress of a man who's in denial that he's even cheating on his wife. Being "the other woman" is a sickening feeling, particularly when the love of your life is a self-deluding liar.

And now the time has come where I refuse to be "the other child".

stuckinarut2

Beautifully said Wake Me!

Yes, you have calmly and mildly redefined the boundaries of your relationship with toxic people such as your parents.

If they act in inappropriate ways, then they lose the privilege of your company.

All of us can succeed in life by recognising and living by appropriate and healthy boundaries. No one has the RIGHT to overstep - not even our parents.

AllTimeJeff

Congrats. Just read some of this. I use this forum as my first journal. I look back at what I wrote. My have I changed and grown. I am proud of that.

Definitely relate to the parental thing. Commented on that on another thread of yours. Something healthy exiting JW's have to deal with and make a very unpleasant choice about is their believing "in" parents. I have an email composed. I haven't sent it yet. When I do, I hope to be at peace. He needs to know how I feel, what I think, and I can't be motivated by how the truth of my own choosing will make him feel. It's my truth, and he can be a good parent, accept and support me, or he can run away, as he always does. It might be too late for him change his stripes, but it isn't too late for me. Or anyone here. :)

MightyV8

Wake Me Up

The tables have now turned and the standards have been redefined. Until my parents are humble enough to recognize just how immoral the whole threat of shunning is, they no longer qualify as the kind of individuals I'd like to spend my time with.

stuckinarut2

If they act in inappropriate ways, then they lose the privilege of your company.

The above two statements sum up exactly how I have dealt with my parents ( just mum now)

Their Loss, not mine.

Re-verse shunning.

I'm New

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