Have You Ever Considered Suicide? Have You Ever Thought Of Just Not Living (page 2)

minimus

Scully, I'm glad you stayed the course! You would be surely and sorely missed!!! This place can truly be a healing place.

calamityjane

Scully and Scootergirl :

Oh yes, the feeling of just wanting to go to sleep and never wake up. That was me at one time to.

Your on the jw treadmill, working, raising kids, working against time to make supper in a hurry and get to the meetings on time, making sure the kids are dressed and cleaned, getting the dirty looks or snide remarks about being late, yadda yadda, yadda, getting up on a Saturday and Sunday morning for meetings and served, never getting to catch up on sleep. Do I miss that treadmill. Hell no.

There were times I felt like I was due for a nervous breakdown. Now that I'm out I don't feel guilty if I have to miss something because I'm just too tired.

Guilt made many of us do things we didn't want to do. Guilt feelings are heavy weights on shoulders, and the society made us feel guilty for many reasons.

Glad I'm out and free

JamesThomas

It is not unusual for people to feel a deep sense of alienation and separation from life. It can be a call

CoonDawg

I considered it towards the tail end of my first marriage. Living with my ex was excruciating. All I'd ever wanted was for her to love me. Instead, I worked my ass off and came home to who knows what every day. It was always a guessing game. There was no sex. because I was full of 'dub ideas, i was stuck in a marriage because to leave would be "wrong". It was also the beginning of my realization of the hypocrisy not only of the religion but of myself. I didn't like myself very much. I began at times to think that I would be better off dead. That by the insurance money, at least I could assure myself that my family would be taken care of and I wouldn't have to live in this hell from day to day. I didn't see any way out at the time. The only reason I didn't proceed further with those thoughts was my daughter. It was those toddler kisses and feeling those little fingers in my hand. It was seeing her face every night that kept me from going further. It was my worry for her that kept me sane enough to stick around. Sometimes, even now, I feel guilty for depending on her in this way. At the time, she was the only place that I found love and solace from the harsh realities of the hell that was my life.

Of course, now...I have a wonderful wife. It doesn't hurt that she has a degree in psychology.....heh,heh...helps me get through the wackier things. Also, I have gotten to the place where I like myself. I am happy with who I am....and that's coming a long way. I live my life as my own man and I no longer am consumed by how I look to others. I realize that it's important to do things for ME and that it is Okay to do so.

My heart goes out to any who are so despondant that they take their own life. I have a glimpse of the kinds of feelings that they have.

Ern

Yizuman

I have alot of times because of what I am going through now, facing homelessness and all. It makes me depressed as hell.

I just hope I can make it through all this and get back on my feet.

Yizuman

ApagaLaLuz

I can't figure out how to Edit....... Would someone please delete my above post?

I decided I don't want that on a public forum

NeonMadman

I had thoughts of suicide almost daily when I was a JW. Between the borg and my (now ex-) wife, I didn't feel like I had anything to live for. Knowing that my daughter needed me was the only thing that kept me going. I was on antidepressants for years, and still had suicidal thoughts. Finally, my daughter grew up, my ex moved out, and I left the cult. Then I got back together with my high school sweetheart, the most wonderful woman in the world, now my wife. No more suicidal thoughts, no more antidepressants.

Crazy151drinker

Chev, I still love you

On the topic: No.

I guess when I was going through rough family times in HighSchool I went the opposite route. Instead of destroying myself, I became bent on expressing my anger by malicious acts. I was going around taking things apart at school, breaking things, tagging, stealing, and just plain causing trouble. Finally I enlisted in the Army to get away for awhile. In the end that was the best thing for me. I no longer put up with anyones shit and since I was gone my Dad started getting all lectures, insults, put-downs etc..etc..and he realized how psycho his wife was and he left. Now things are really good. Granted, now I have a little brother with a psycho mom, but hey, when he gets older he can move in with me ~~And then she can~~ I'll stop while im ahead.

SloBoy

Gumby,

"hanging on until you get your thoughts and perspectives straight.....", boy!!, how important is that. Been out for almost a year and am only now getting a sense of the stress, anxiety, and some depression that comes from exiting a religion that I'd been apart of for nearly thirty years.

Lady Lee

ummmm YES

a lot actually - when I was 12 and my aunt and I were being abused in the JWs after years of being abuse before getting involved with the JWs - we both talked about it. - she did it

And later as an elder's wife who was being abused

I had my plan. I started giving valued things away.

I spoke to people and asked them to watch over my girls if something should happen to me (they agreed but didn't help them after I was DFed)

I knew what I was going to do but had not decided on when.

And then I realized I didn't really want to die and that maybe I could sin once - get thrown out (and a divorce) and Jehovah would understand and maybe forgive me

So I sold the rest of my soul and got booted

But then I got smart and informed :) and now I am here and there and everywhere except with the JWs

Have You Ever Considered Suicide? Have You Ever Thought Of Just Not Living

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