When I was younger, in my teens mostly.
I remember not wanting to exist, just end it ya' know? I understand now that I was only seeing the situation that I was currently in. I was only seeing the present and thinking that it was all there was to my life. I wasnt even considering the fact that I could take control and change my life for the better.
I watched my mom suffer, but learned from her mistakes. I began making better choices, being more careful who I trusted and allowed myself to be alone with, went back to school, worked really hard and I finally have a job where I actually enjoy getting up in the morning.
Most of all, if I had been successful with ending my life, I wouldnt have known what it was like to have and love these two cuties. They keep me going as I want them everything, feel safe and have all the love and stability that I didnt know growing up.