How do you personally deal with your still in family JWS ?

by Finkelstein 34 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Finkelstein
    Finkelstein

    For myself I just try to avoid them intentionally maybe see them once every couple of years on average. They used to be easy going but over the last 10 years or so they got more cult like and distant and I'm really not bothered by that, maybe a bit.

    They stick to their own or other members like they are their family so, its makes it unattractive for myself to connect and reach out to them anymore.

    I think the constant reinforcement orchestrated by the GB heads of keeping a distance from non or ex members has taken over their wanting social connection with us non members of are family.

    Shame really but thats the kind of high control aspect of this one particularly religoius cult, there are others likewise out there.

    I was never baptized so to them that makes for a unique relationship than people who were baptized, all construed and indoctrinated by the WTS.

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    my younger son--and daughter--both in their 40's now--with kids of their own ( ive never met ). not had any proper contact since they were kids. Never likely to.

    thanks watchtower..you did good.

  • minimus
    minimus

    I have no other family that I talk to. After my Mother and brother died I heard nothing from his wife. They all live in their own little world.

  • pistolpete
    pistolpete

    Honestly I have my own life and my own family to worry about, and that just puts me on a very busy schedule to visit or associate with most of my jw family. I like it that way actually. In fact isn't that the way its supposed to be.

    Your parents raise you, you leave the house and start your own family, Once a year maybe you get together with parents and siblings, and then back to the grind.

    One leaves the parents house when the parents are around 40 years old, in the meantime the one leaving the home is busy going to school, working, buying a house, getting married, having children, and in around 40 years you get ready to retire and relax and visit the family regularly, but by then your parents are gone and maybe some of your siblings too,

    And the cycle starts again with your children.They're busy working, raising a family, etc.

    So it works out pretty good and I really don't have time for jw drama.

    The changes in the religion does interest me considering I was born in. So I visit sites like this or exjw reddit to find out the latest new light. Although I don't thing the WT religion will be around in 40-50 years from now.

    And I'll still be around to see it all-----unless I get a cancer or someone shoots me in a riot

  • VIII
    VIII

    This is the really sad thing about being raised in the Borg.

    I have relatives on my Dad’s side, who were never JWs, who we were alienated from when I was about 6...I can recall birthdays, Christmas, going to families homes for all kinds of various family events or just get togethers. Families do that, just to keep close. Not if you’re a JW. You need to keep your distance from any non-JW family and boy, did we!

    The moment my Mom drank the Kook-Aid, she cut everyone off. All my Dad‘s side was immediately “Bad Associations” and not to be had in our home. And, since our grandparents were not JW, we were totally cut off from them. No longer were we allowed to see them for any reason. I was used to seeing them weekly! Suddenly, they were gone and I was told they were EVIL!

    That is INSANE. I was cutoff, suddenly, for no logical reason, from a loving family.

    I will never forgive my Mother for setting this Titanic in motion. It is still heading towards the glacier and I know it will end with her on the front of the ship wondering why it’s going down with her not standing in Paradise at age 35 like she was promised.

    I told her recently that “Peace and Security” was BS and Armageddon was BS and hasn’t happened during her lifetime. She was shocked and keeps up with the “If I die, here is my will...”

    Seriously, “If, I die”? She is in her 80’s...I’m still waiting to meet that person whose lived “forever”...

  • frozen2018
    frozen2018

    Most of the JW family I have that I see on a regular basis are elderly. We have an unwritten rule. They don't tell me that judgement day is soon upon us and that I need to get back to the Kingdom Hall and I don't tell them the Grim Reaper is tapping them on the shoulder. It works quite well.

  • Virgochik
    Virgochik

    I'm not sure there's too much worse a feeling than knowing your own mother doesn't want to see you.I reach out to her every day asking how she's doing because she's eighty five, and she makes sure to tell me "The Friends" are taking good care of her. She was hospitalized and didn't even tell me. None of "The Friends" did either. Recently, she was in the hospital again, and didn't bother to tell me she was back home. While I worried, she was having "The Friends" in and out and didn't give me a thought. I'm her only child.

    My crime? I don't agree with JW teachings. Never arrested or had legal problems, always had a good job, nice home, responsible, courteous, tax paying, give to charity. But I'm saved and born again as a follower of Jesus so she doesn't need me around. I feel like I keep kissing her butt wanting a relationship with my mother. I sent her a letter asking to clear the air so we could be a real mother and daughter. She ignored the letter.

    Honestly, I don't have a handle on how to deal with these people. Reaching out like normal people do doesn't work. They don't seem interested in meeting you half way.

    Does anyone know if they're on the warpath again about shunning their family?

  • Atlantis
    Atlantis

    Virgochik:

    This recent video where governing body member, Anthony Morris III, refers to apostates as "maggots" and enemies of God, doesn't make it any easier for family members to associate with those not of the faith.



    I would expect shunning to be reinforced after a talk like that.

    Petra!
  • BluesBrother
    BluesBrother

    There is only my wife and she has been terrfic in these strange times. Without ministry or KH meetings we have drawn closer since her congregation leave her well alone .

  • LongHairGal
    LongHairGal

    FINKELSTEIN:

    So, your relatives have gotten more cult-like and distant over the last decade or so?

    I wonder though if they would come looking for you if they needed money or anything el$e? Some ex-JWs have this experience. Not having Witness relatives I’m not faced with this, but I’d never tolerate ‘shunners’ asking for money.

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