How do you personally deal with your still in family JWS ?

by Finkelstein 34 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Diogenesister
    Diogenesister
    PistolpeteYour parents raise you, you leave the house and start your own family, Once a year maybe you get together with parents and siblings, and then back to the grind.
    One leaves the parents house when the parents are around 40 years old,

    Once a year? It would destroy me if my kids wanted to see me once a year!!

    Also, if my kids left home when I was 40 they'd be the world's most independent 2 year olds!!!!

  • just fine
    just fine

    I have regular contact with my parents. Zero contact with my siblings. Regular contact with the DF’d relatives.

    i have a don’t ask don’t tell relationship with my parents. I wouldn’t say we are close as most of our conversations are cursory (what they did, weather, their friends etc). I didn’t speak to them for many years - they missed my college graduation and wedding due to this stupid religion. During non-COVID times they see me but lie about it to my siblings and their JW friends.

    i don’t speak to my siblings because they are toxic. I have no patience for people who are just rude, nasty people who provoke fights so they can claim to be the victim. I will never forgive either of them for the way they have treated their own children who left the religion. I have had to step in more than once when the threats and harrassment of those young adults by their parents got out of control.

  • mickbobcat
    mickbobcat

    You can't deal with a JW

  • Diogenesister
    Diogenesister

    @Just fine you are a wonderful Aunt or uncle and I only hope to be as noble and loving as you are if, or when, my young nephews and niece need me.

  • just fine
    just fine

    @diogenesister - one of my DF’d nephews is like my son now. We talk or text nearly every day and go on vacations with his wife and child. Those young adults that leave need someone in their corner, someone to give them advice, listen and love them no matter what. Someone to make sure there is a roof over their head and food in the fridge.

    And they need someone to protect them until they are strong enough to protect themselves. I’ve went head to head with elders who would not leave them alone and my siblings who forged documents to make it appear they owned a vehicle they did not, with a plan to have him arrested for stealing the car. He had paid for the car with his own money. I had no choice but to get involved and put a stop to it. All because they were mad he didn’t want to be a witness. Assholes......

  • Finkelstein
    Finkelstein

    FINKELSTEIN:

    So, your relatives have gotten more cult-like and distant over the last decade or so?

    No that hasn't come about, they are financially alright but a little more cultish off putting is noticeable.

    I think the WTS has indoctrinated them to be this way Loyalty, Loyalty

    is the pressing mantra coming out the WT/JWorg in recent times.

  • Phizzy
    Phizzy

    I have decided recently that I will have no voluntary contact, or conversation, with any JW, even if they are family. I have disassociated THEM if you like, yes, necessary family business will have to happen.

    But NO JW is welcome in, or will gain entry to, my Home. Family or not. They really are beyond the Pale as humans. They are Toxic, unprincipled, ignorant and hateful individuals, maybe not deep down in their genuine personality, but that is what they are all the time they are in the Cult.

    They can Sod Off, and when they get there, they can Sod Off some more.

  • Finkelstein
    Finkelstein

    The WTS have made the initiative to imply that anyone who was once a dedicated member but left permanent are spiritually dangerous to associated with even family .

  • lriddle80
    lriddle80

    For the 10 years I was out and not disfellowshipped:

    I visited somewhat regularly so they could babysit. As my son got older, we didn't see each other that often. It was fine, though. Kind of like a family reunion. My dad rarely talked to me.

    Now that I am DF'd. It's shunning, of course. My mom will message me on Facebook sometimes. At the beginning of the pandemic, she asked if we were all right. Our anniversary, she messaged happy anniversary.

    It's not what the watchtower says, though, about that "little dose of association being enough." That "little dose" just kind of annoyed me.

  • Finkelstein
    Finkelstein

    One has to accept and realize that shunning non or ex-members to them is an expression of righteous vindication and devotion to Jehovah, its also entails keeping one spiritually strong and clean.

    Being the JWS hold to that judgement day is just around the corner very soon, its places even more importance to keep in good standing with Jesus and Jehovah.

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