Only during my early school years. I had to leave the classroom and spend time in the library whenever there was a birthday party or other "pagan" celebration. I also sat for the pledge of allegiance. I was treated too badly but some teachers were offended and pitted students against me. Though I wasn't really bullied I never formed natural bonds with any school mates. I went to the same small school for 13 years and was lonely most of the time. I think that is about all this religion robbed from me. Overall it wasn't as bad as most on here experienced. I woke up before I became an adult.
Do you feel embarrsed?
by The Rebel 26 Replies latest jw friends
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_Morpheus
Come on man, english isnt everybodys first language. Hell, thor knows i struggle sometimes and english IS my first language. Its hard enough dealing with the cult no need to kick each other as well. -
The Rebel
In summation and in my poor " Enklish" I would like to articulate my point as well as Morpheus wrote " come on man". But in my poor English the best I can do is write " Grow the f,,,k up man, live on and get a life " fukitol"
The Rebel.
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stan livedeath
i was always embarrassed when i was a dub--and would never mention it in conversation with " worldly" people if i could possibly avoid it. for many years after i quit i avoided the whole subject.
but i think this was because i thought the cult was highly significant to most people----but more recently ive realised--it isnt. most people know very little about it--or are mildly curious.
so now---nothing to be embarrassed about--it means nothing to me--and nothing to most people i'm ever likely to have any contact with.
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freemindfade
Read something from Dan bilzerrian today on his ig about happiness. And it's basically what I have come to understand at this point in my life as have many others. That two things make you miserable. Fear & judgment. I got baptized basically because of those two things even though I told myself differentry at the time. I grew out of those things, but because I made a choice that put me captive in this shit cult, I grew out of it but still have those elements in my life because I can't undo the baptism. I am embarrassed my 15 year old self wasn't smarter than to get baptized. -
adjusted knowledge
I've noticed there is quite a few fukitol on this board. They are insecure and bitter. Only thing going in their life is an occasional anonymous posting to insult someone. To complain about a topic you clicked on and replied on, only speaks towards your mental aptitude. -
disillusioned 2
I used to feel ashamed for being embarrassed about being a witness. After all I was supposed to be proud of the fact and let everyone know and preach at every opportunity, school, work, standing at a bus stop etc. When in reality I would shy away from it.
I hated going on ministry especially when people were nasty and I couldn't answer questions like "how is Michael the archangel Jesus"? And what would have happened if we hadn't gone to war, if everyone were pacifists we would have been taken over by Germany. Would you let your child die because you wouldn't let them have a blood transfusion? So embarrassed trying to explain that one. So embarrassed when I started a new job and had to to tell everyone I was a witness. It usually came up when someone was collecting money for someone's birthday and I had to tell them I couldn't because ........ and then explain why we didn't. I always felt that was a stupid explanation, the beheadings and most of them didn't know or care about it being pagan!
I remember once explaining to a workmate about why we didn't celebrate Christmas. Went through the whole thing, saturnalia etc, thought I had explained it well. Someone else asked that girl why I didn't do it, she said to her "something to do with the Romans"! Thought that was funny.
Many other embarrassing moments over the years, too many to count. I didn't choose this religion my parents chose it for me. My life would have been a lot less embarrassing if they hadn't.
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The Rebel
Interesting thread, which suggests embarrassment depends on the context a great deal.
Do I feel second hand embaressemt when I see brothers and sisters standing by the street trolley?
Possibly but I prefer the phrase " external shame". I think this phrase better captures the weight of emotion as I empathise with the fact it could so easily have been me standing by that trolley making a prat of myself.
The Rebel.
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stuckinarut2
Yes...I was self-righteous, judgmental little "wanna-be".
All because I acted the way I thought a "good spiritual person should".
I would smack the younger version of myself if I could....
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The Rebel
Stuckinarut.
I think you are to hard on yourself. Why let the religion win? It was the religion that made everybody believe that only they were right, and therefore made us arrogant. Now as a traitor you can see the difference between intolerance and narrow mindedness. So I would just pat yourself on the back.
The Rebel.