Fifteen Years Ago... (page 2)

Just as Brummie said. It was inconceivable to me as well. I must admit I had doubts as I was getting baptised - I had a kinda mini-crisis of conscience - but these feelings were later dismissed as "Satan having a go" at me!

I remember in my teens feeling more a little smug - many of my contemporaries left in their teens but I stood firm and resolute!

Here I am now in my thirties thinking about how much I have wasted my life.

mouthy

Prisca!!!! I was sorry to hear about your baptism....I was baptisted in 1963 ( although in my testimony at http://www.jwinfoline.com/Page/audio.htm I say 1965 ( I found my baptism picture with the date on it )So I knew my memory had deceived me. But Thank God your out in your young years,I wasted so many in the door to door work.I "abused" my kids by making them JW ( because I truly do believe it is abuse) depriving them of so much. As you know my daughter who I badgered into becoming a slave -is dead at 42... So Hey ! celebrate you being free !!!!((((hug)))

Sentinel

(((Prisca))), your post tugged at my heart. We all just want to be loved, and not just have the "words" said, but in showing love and affection, getting hugged and held close, and cherished. At the time, you were doing what you thought you were supposed to do. ...and still, getting baptized only puts a seal on our JW induction.

You are free now. Often times I reflect on my journey to get out, and why it had to take me so long. Obviously it had a lot to do with co-dependence on my part, and all the feelings of insecurity and low self esteem. I felt so stiffled and closed up, and really, weren't we all? In our little borg box--our comfort zone at the time. Now we are out of that "box" and breathing the fresh air of freedom. It is certainly sweet.

RAYZORBLADE

When I look back, it baffles me too. I found, just yesterday, an old photo album. I hadn't opened it in many years. As I turned to the first page, there it was. Me, back in my Witness years.

I was a bit speechless. I was a bit sad, and remembered the people (in the photos) and at the time, the friendship I had with them. So many I have not seen since, nor will I. As I turned one page after another, I realized from where I came in a chronilogical sense. Here I am, having done an about face, as it were, from those days so many years ago.

Mouthy: personally, you have shown considerable strength. Yes, you put in many years with the organization, but somewhere, somehow along the line, you were able to do some critical thinking, and therefor make the bravest step: leaving.

What saddens me, is knowing in your situation Mouthy, that some of your children etc., will not speak to you due to WTBTS policy. THAT bothers me, and hurts me, and I'm not even personally related to you: but you can adopt me if you wish, I'm a good grandson . But it is sad, but I commend you on your integrity and honesty.

This forum and the experiences people bring here continually validate my resolve. I am very glad, relieved and happy to be psychologically free of the WTBTS.

We need to be here, expressing our thoughts/opinions for those facing similar struggles.

There are many lurkers, and many newcomers. At least we know, we can relate to their situation and experiences.

Best to all, and I'm so glad you and myself, are here.

mouthy

Razor.... You are now the adopted grand child of Grace Gough( let me see now can I rmember them all??) Having "old Timers " I might not remember all the names.But if you only know how encouraging ( & tearful) it is to know you all except me wqith my "wrinkles" & all.

Can you wonder why I visit here so often.....(((Hug)))

BluesBrother

I can beat Farkel by one year. And was baptised at the same age.

During my youth I wobbled some times and even left for a few months but came back stronger. I then served with the absolute conviction that I would continue doing so for ever, and ever and ever...........

In 1996 after a lot of thinking and chewing things over , the penny finally dropped and "It's just not true" was the conclusion from which I have not wavered since.

Mouthy. I am so sorry to read of the tragedy of your daughter .What can I say but express the warmth everyone feels for you. You help so many of us with your loving posts , keep them cominmg .

gold_morning

I too spent 16 years away from God. I didn't even try to heal. I just lived in limbo. But 4 years ago when I decided to get it right somehow I knew I had to look to God and the bible to get to that peaceful place mentally.

In retrospect, I can see that was the right choice. I somehow knew that there was nothing "out there" that had any true meaning. I started on a quest to really read the bible and when I did I really got to know Jesus. There was allot of mental hurdles for sure but all those small baby steps led me back to God.

Now I have peace in knowing I do not have to earn my salvation. That it is a gift he gave me. In coming to HIM, he now resides in me. He is with me, in me and for me. I have a peace that whether on this side of living on earth or on the other side living with HIM I have that gift he gave me.........everlasting life.

I guess some of you will knock me for becoming born again in Christ in a big way..... but all i can say is don't "knock" it till you've tried it. LOL

love to you all, gold_morning

mouthy

Blues Brother.....(((((((hug))))) Thank you my love I needed that XX

ashitaka

I was baptised 11 year ago in July of 1992. I burnt the pictures....you don't want a reminder of a big mistake hanging around.

I too get sick when I think of it. It was so hollow, so stale. I wonder now why I cared at all.

ash

Fifteen Years Ago...

ozziepost

Matty

mouthy

Sentinel

RAYZORBLADE

mouthy

BluesBrother

gold_morning

mouthy

ashitaka

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