by Sunnybear 111 Replies latest social relationships
Anders says something that holds a key to the man: believe what he told you. He will suck your soul from you when he holds you and won’t commit because of religion.
You must not settle for this unhealthy man. Don’t mistake his desperate desire to feed off you for love. As others have said that religion is destructive to happiness.
Find a man who will treasure you. It is not this man. Not this man.
He probably is a wonderful human being. Unfortunately this wonderful human being has been infected by the cult of Jehovah's Witnesses. He will be emotionally damaged and immature in many ways. He can be cured but not by pandering to his beliefs and his wishes.
It will be down to him (and him alone) to chose to leave the JWs and move on without them. It is very unlikely you will be able to do anything directly because he will have been indoctrinated his whole life to see all such attempts at help as Satanic manipulation to lead him away from 'the truth'.
I understand that he is probably afraid of losing all his family and friends but that is the price of leaving the JWs.
1 - If you want to join this cult then be prepared to cut off all ties with your current friends and, to an extent, your family. You will lose freedom of expression and be expected to fulfil a certain role in your husbands life (yes that reads correctly: you play a role in your husbands life).
2 - If you want to leave it all behind then dump him. Tell him you want nothing to do with such a damaging, unnatural cult!
3 - If you want to stay with him on your terms tell him you will be honest with his family about your current relationship (i.e. explaining about your normal healthy relationship) and see where that goes...
If you dump him hard he may just go back to the cult and find condolence in the belief that you were just another worldly woman sent to lead him astray.
If you dump him with love and explain why you want no part of a cult (don't mince your words) he will probably run back to the cult and believe you were just another worldly woman sent to lead him astray but he will also have time to dwell on you words and just maybe sort his head out enough to eventually leave the JWs.
Never a JW here but stupid me dated one for 5 years. Press on my picture go to my first post and read my intro to this site. RUN AWAY NOW!!
"Is he interested?"
In sex: YES
In you as a person: NO
Just the opinion of a 62 year old man who has had his share of dealing with 'life's ups and downs'.
Tell him that you will only agree to discuss his religion with his mother if he starts attending your church with you. Seems fair, right? Unfortunately he will not agree.
There are only two streets signs on the roads of Jehovah's Witnesses - One Way and No Turn.
Number one this guy is an idiot if he wants you to visit with his mother.
I hope the sex has been really good and you have experienced some great times. However he has broken every rule in the JW rule book and now expects you to justify his sins by becoming a JW?
This is a self absorbed nut case.....he knows he is in danger of being exposed to his Elders........ in their words as a fornicator. Which would mean instant disfellowshiping, losing all his JW friends and JW family because they would have to shun him
Here's their rules:
-pursue a romantic relationship with a person though not legally or Scripturally free to marry
- stayed all night in the same house with a person of the opposite sex.
- Passion-arousing heavy petting or caressing of breast
- A practice of engaging in immoral conversations by telephone, in Internet chat rooms, or through similar electronic means
- An entrenched practice of viewing abhorrent forms of pornography that is sexually degrading.
And of course lying.
If you want to understand everything else that could get a JW in trouble (yes there is more) check this out.
http://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/disfellowship-shunning.php
Scroll down to the reasons one can be disfellowshiped.
Good luck in sorting this out. Get back out there and find some one honest not in a cult who will value you.
Let us know how things work out. Those of us who take time out of our day to offer the best advice re things related to problems in the JW world........ appreciate hearing back.
Sex is not an issue here, the deception and foolishness he is exhibiting (not you) can be heart breaking and dangerous.
Even apart from the JW stuff, which would be as bad or worse than the other posts have described, this does not sound like a healthy relationship.
He sounds a bit dishonest in his intentions, like well if you want to have a long term relationship with him ie. marriage, your going to have to join his religious cult.
As others have said .......................RUN LIKE HELL AWAY FROM THIS GUY. !!!!
Any advice?
Don't put out too soon.
Tell him you want to go to the meeting with him. Insist on walking in hand in hand, and tell everyone you speak to that the last six months have been the best you’ve ever had and that when he stays over at yours you feel so loved and safe. Tell them all that you’re a Christian and that you can’t wait to take him to your church and introduce him to your friends.
