Did an EX-JW wake you up to TTATT or did you put the effort to wake up yourself? (page 5)

cappytan

I started to wake up on my own last year around this time. I was kind of one of those lazy witnesses for a while after leaving Bethel.

Before Bethel, I was all about the doctrine and devouring all the information I could get from the Borg. I never doubted. But I also never had independent resources for research. (We didn't have the internet at home at the time.)

But, last year, 2014, at the Regional Convention, I decided that I wasn't a good enough witness and that I wanted to do more. So I made a concerted effort and went to every single meeting...I went in service every chance I got. I started seeking first the Kingdom. I started a Bible Study. Then I realized I hadn't studied deeply in more than 12 years or so...and I had never really studied the Bible Teach book.

What an incredible opportunity to "Make the Truth My Own" all over again!

So I started researching everything. When the society quoted a secular source, I'd google that source to find out the context.

I wasn't trying to disprove the Society. I was trying to confirm it. Critical research was out of habit. The last time I truly did "personal study" beyond just reading the watchtower was before college. Even though I dropped out of college to go to Bethel, I still retained some of those skills I learned. Like the Logic class I took. I learned how to destroy faulty reasonings by identifying fallacies.

Well, needless to say, I was shocked at how intellectually thin the so-called "evidence" was for the doctrines I was researching.

I tried stopping so that I wouldn't have to deal with the doubts that were getting serious.

But then the Tight Pants Tony incident happened, and I was disgusted, embarrased to be a JW, and shocked that it was allowed to air.

The next week, I started lurking on here and JWFacts.com. I googled Crisis of Conscience PDF and started reading it during Christmas break.

The first week of January, I officially registered on this forum and made my first post, Losing Faith.

John Aquila

Wow! All these stories are awesome!

I'm not alone,------I'm not crazy!!!

sherrie11

I left in 1994 because I was sick of being judged by the brothers and sisters as spiritually weak I had been ill for awhile and had missed lots of meetings. I had also married a man who was only 30 (this is in 1991) who claimed to be anointed so they poo pooed that as well. I still believed it was 'The Truth' for a few years. I was given COC by my ex who had left just a little after me. Because I still believed i didnt read the book.

Around 1999- 2000 I found the internet and did a search " jehovahs witness's". Found Randy Watters page and just a little later found this site. Then I started to wake up. I heard about the book COC on here and realised hey !! I have that book!1. Read it and the rest is history. I have only met one real life exjw who just happened to have been my exhusbands bestfriend and was bestman at our JW wedding. I actually met him again through this forum. We have since lost touch but I remember how reassuring it was that someone else knew that the JW's did not "The Truth"

Since then I haven't met any real life ex Jw's.

John Aquila

sherrie11
Since then I haven't met any real life ex Jw's.

I've met one in real life also, but your statement made me think. There are only 8 million Jehovah's witnesses world wide. I believe in the United States there is a little over one million Witnesses. Out of one million Witnesses in the U.S. I wonder how many have woken up?? Probably not many. So the likely hood of meeting live EXJW is very slim. Plus the fact that we fade and don't publicize it doesn't help. I guess you could say, we are of--"The Little Flock, The Remnant, The Chosen Ones"

zarco

This is an interesting read. Thanks for starting it, John.

I think I mentally checked out after 1975. My family had moved to where the need was greater (West Coast to Midwest). We had sold our house and most of what we owned and went to serve out the few years before Armageddon. Floyd Kite, Angelo Manera and others made very direct comments about 1975 as did the WTBTS. We were living off the proceeds of the home sale for the most part. The upside was we met a long of great people. After 1975 (I was in high school) I vowed never to trust the Society again. I met my then wife in the Midwest and we did the JW thing for several years. I served several positions, PO, Sub-CO, rooming guy at conventions and advised Bethel Treasury and all sorts of the things that we were supposed to do.

My spouse was a believer and our daughter got baptized but she like me realized it was not the "truth". Since I would not trust the advice of the Society completely I made sure that all of us went to University. I did this while working and wife and daughter both went full time after I had finished and daughter was old enough. It set us up for our eventual exit. We also did other pretty lame rebelious things like Thanksgiving and New Years celebrations. We also did birthdays but our celebrations were pretty low key.

During our life, like others, we saw all sorts of injustice. From child abuse issues, to Judicial Committees being drunk on power, the devaluation of women in the organization (like crazy Ted J telling women to stay with abusive mates). The generation change, blood issues and other doctrines were all factors. But after our daughter didn't want to live the half-in-life anymore and moved to Europe to finish college my then wife decided to explore things a bit on her own.

In her exploration and with some prodding from our daughter and me she quickly realized that the religion was not only a sham but also harmful in its teachings and left immediately. I respect her a great deal for the quick decision, I was somewhat happy being in and doing my own thing while having a fun group of people to hang out with. When she decided to not go to meetings any longer I wrote a letter resigning my positions and we never looked back. A wonderful scholar named Leolaia was very instrumental in solidifying our decision.

We are both married to other individuals - wicked worldly people, haha - and are all very happy with life and where we are at. I stop by this site from time to time to check in on what is going on with the JWs and see if any of the Elders I knew are child abusers.

I love where we are. I do not mean to make the exit sound easy. It was emotional at times and only a handful of our past "friends" stay in touch. But it was the best decision of our lives.

Thanks to everyone for sharing their story. All the best!

LevelThePlayingField

I started looking at "apostate" websites on my own a few years ago with out anyone prompting me. Just because they were said to be so evil, therefore I looked. It took me 2 years to wake up fully. No one or nothing prompted it.

Rattigan350

Their constant insulting of my intelligence woke me up.

For example back in 2009 my wife and I were talking to a Circuit Overseer around convention time. He had the outline for the one who gave the announcements. I wanted to see what it said at the beginning and whether the outline told the speaker to tell the people to listen to the musical interlude. I mentioned that I wanted to make sure it said it said that because the speakers get it wrong. Before it started it was a prelude; the interlude was between the sessions at noon. He went and got a dictionary to look it up, as if I can't be right and the convention outline writers can't be wrong. I always question everything I hear from the magazines and meetings, but for so long it was a case of where or whom shall one go to...

wozza

Over time I collected experiences and observations I had within the org and challenged some of these with elders who did not give satisfactory answers ,one main one was child molestation within the org ,how that had affected my wife ,and how the elders and the org dealt with it.

I found Bill Bowens Silent Lambs site and the door opened for me to explore the hypocrisy of the WTS in this matter ,and then in turn exploring the internet I found the answers to the doubts that had developed over time from my negative experiences from within the org

This led me to trace back in time the teachings and actions of JWs before the CD rom the WTS put out of their literature, it only covered after 1970. Of course it was a revelation, as before the internet there was simply so few sources to query anything JW teachings related. Depending on which hall you attended , the library there may only have newish publications so it was hard to find out and research the lies and perpetual changes.

Bonsai

Mine started one day in the Kingdomhall library room about 12 years ago. It didn't affect me until years later, but what happened on that day sowed seeds of doubt that would lay dormant for another decade.

I was a young, impressionable pioneer who had a man crush on Rutherford, Russel and all the other spiritual giants that got the ball rolling over a century ago. I was oohing and ahhing over the collection of books we had in our library that went all the way back to the 1870's when the P.O came up to me and asked me why I spent so much time back here looking through "these old books". i told him that this collection was priceless antiquity that was helping me to learn about the roots of our wonderful organization. What he said next shocked me to my core. He said,

"A lot of these books aren't worth the paper that they were printed on."

I couldn't believe the words that came out of his mouth. The P.O., a long-time missionary who had been in the truth for years and years! His father had come into the truth around the turn of the century. I couldn't believe it. It was borderline blasphemy to me. Disturbed and bothered by it, I safely tucked it away behind a wall of cognitive dissonance.

It wasn't until years later that scandals, injustice and hypocrisy forced me to re-examine those words. Now, here I am!

stan livedeath

j.Aq; " So the likely hood of meeting live EXJW is very slim. Plus the fact that we fade and don't publicize it doesn't help"

i'm surprised just how many ex jw's ive come across over the years--cant explain it--do we give off a vibe ?

i quit over 40 years ago. bit pointless being a JW if you simply dont believe in god.

Did an EX-JW wake you up to TTATT or did you put the effort to wake up yourself?

sherrie11

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