Can they announce that you are df'd or da'd without telling you? (page 2)

dedalus

On a Thursday my mother-in-law was invited to a judicial meeting that Sunday. She sent them a letter of disassociation, but it got returned by the post office. I drove it to her PO's house the next Thursday, one week from his initial visit, only to learn that they had disfellowshipped her on Wednesday. So, they not only disfellowshipped her without telling her, they denied her the opportunity for an appeal.

These assholes do whatever they want to do; they don't even follow their own rules.

Dedalus

Shakita

Iv4fer:

Yes, I have heard they do this from other posters here on this board. I personally do not know anyone who has been da'd or df'd just because they are inactive. Of course, if you wrote a letter wishing to be left alone, that enough is in effect saying that you don't consider yourself a JW anymore, so what they do after this is up to the elders in the congregation. Probably depends on the elders in whatever congregation you belonged to on how aggressive they will be in persuing to officially da or df you. You do not have to be officially da'd or df'd to be shunned, though. JW's are very self-centered and will consider it their duty to pretend you don't exist.

My husband and I also wish to fade away and to be left alone. This is proving to be more difficult than we had planned. We have had several visits lately, to which we have ignored. I am not sure how much longer we can put off the gestapo. On the other hand, we have also had contact with many other JW's who still speak with us.

I will tell you what though, if they do not let us choose to go away quietly, there will be some fireworks! If they decide to make some kind of judgement publicly concerning us, I will not just let it go there. There just has to be some legal recourse you can take when any one (even a so-called religious organization) PUBLICLY defames your name and reputation. We have a lawyer in the family. If the situation comes down to this, I think we will be giving him a call.

Mrs. Shakita

TresHappy

Yes of course these arrogant so and sos think they can do whatever they want...although I believe it's selectively done. They have left me alone for years, although others I know in the same situation have been bugged do death by the elders. I suppose one day they will come and bug me!

Scooby

Even if they don't announce ANYTHING they still TALK! Obviously, the assume when they have not seen you that you are out...or sinning,etc.

I've seen people shunned do to simple gossip before.

Nathan Natas

Actually, the JW "cheese & cracker men" DO follow their pretzel logic rules in cases such as this.

(and how did this connection of dubs and snack foods come about? well, that's a subject for an upcoming Minimus post.)

Consider:

When a person announces that they want to be left alone, they are separating themselves from "gathering together" with like-minded worshippers of Jehovah. Thus, those individuals no longer "deserve the truth."

In their eyes the elders didn't break a promise to anyone - they employed Theocratic War Strategy to conceal the truth from someone who simply didn't deserve it.

gitasatsangha

When I sent my letter to the Hq, I told them I wrote that I was leaving the organization of the witnesses and the watchtower society, but that I would not stop associating with JW's. That might have put them in a conundrum. I also said I wanted no further contact from the Watchtower society itself except confirmation they had received this letter. To date, there hasn't (to my knowledge) been a disassociating notice been read, nor have I ever had confirmation mailed back to me. I should have mailed it certified, I guess.

RandomTask

They do whatever the hell they want and then they can justify/fabricate reasons later.

JT

Actually, the JW "cheese & cracker men" DO follow their pretzel logic rules in cases such as this.
(and how did this connection of dubs and snack foods come about? well, that's a subject for an upcoming Minimus post.)
Consider:
When a person announces that they want to be left alone, they are separating themselves from "gathering together" with like-minded worshippers of Jehovah. Thus, those individuals no longer "deserve the truth."
In their eyes the elders didn't break a promise to anyone - they employed Theocratic War Strategy to conceal the truth from someone who simply didn't deserve it.

excellent point - the mere letter is ALL THEY NEED it matters not if they annouce it or not "Publicly from the platform-

Elders know exactly how to get information that is vital to the spirituality and wellfare of the congo. so the mere fact that no annoucement is made MEANS NOTHING, the CO explained to us that in those case it can be done on A ONE ON ONE BASIS- OFTEN TIMES telling the friends that the person requested no annoucement be made- such as a while in a car group

ask yourself - you have a well known elder and his wife- he steps aside and they cease to attend meetings ALL THE FRIENDS WANT TO TO KNOW WHY- AND they are told by an elder that the person has left jw, turned thier back on jah and the org-

now it is sat morning at 11:45, service is over and it has been mentioned by 2 elders in 2 car groups

tell me how long will it be before they spead this around

Hell they had me leaving Lady "C" for a "White Woman" So i know how the Rumor Mill works sime

trust me folks asking the Cheese Cracker Men not to annouce is like asking the fox to watch the chicken cop

Scully

lv4fer writes:

I just want to know because if I do run into certain individuals I don't want to make them feel uncomfortable by saying Hi when they can't say Hi back and I don't want to be rude and not say Hi.

Well, let's see.... is it rude to say Hello to someone? No. Is it rude to ignore someone who says Hello to you, especially if you know them? Yes.

Since you have not been informed that you have been DFd or DAd, continue as though you are not. I'm in the same position as you. I will continue to be pleasant and polite to any JW I see. If they choose to be rude and shun me (as someone who, to the best of my knowledge is neither DFd nor DAd), then let their rudeness be manifest in public. They are the ones who will be showing what kind of "Christians" they are. If they say anything about "not being allowed to talk to you", then you can honestly say "Well, that's news to me, because I have never met with a judicial committee or been charged with any wrongdoing and I have never sent a letter of disassociation. As far as I know, I have never been DFd or DAd. I wonder why the brothers would want to SLANDER me like that??"

I wouldn't worry about making any JWs feel uncomfortable. You aren't the cause of their discomfort and you don't have to take responsibility for it. Their f*cked-up belief system is the cause, not you.

Love, Scully

jgnat

Very well said, Scully. There is nothing stopping us from behaving normally, being courteous and friendly.

Can they announce that you are df'd or da'd without telling you?

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