In reply to Chester’s question “
Can you share with us what it was that enabled you to see the organization for what it is? “.
I was raised as a JW and had been baptized since 1978 and my wife was baptized in 1977. Over the years we notice a change in the personality on whole of the local witnesses and the Society in general. However we were busy with doing what we could to be strong in the “Troof” raising a young family, and earning a living. I had made a conscious decision to raise my family in the center of the Organization as opposed to the periphery, were I was raised by a struggling divorced mother.
Fast forward to the year 1998 when as a Cong. We were involved with a remodel\rebuild turning one large single Kingdom Hall into a Double Hall. My Family and I were at the forefront of this project as with most things in our Cong. When a near fatal accident occurred and my carotid artery came within a fraction of an inch of being severed by a piece of window glass I was assisting another brother in carrying. My wife happen to come on the site as a number of sisters was coming to my aid to stop the bleeding and she rushed to the emergency room were I was stitched up.
As I laid there on the gurney with my blood dripping to the floor and only my wife by my side, an elder who was on the same body as I, an who was non worker at the site, arrived to see how I was doing. He stated that “The brothers had asked him to go to the hospital to see how I was doing and to see if he could have a copy of the accident report that I had filled out for the emergency room so the brothers could sent a copy to the Society”.
So no one who was at the site who was aware of the near fatal accident stopped working or called while we were in the ER. This single incident more than anything else up to the point in my life caused me to think seriously as to what type of religion was I involved in.
I wondered if I as an elder who had served as the TMS overseer and was the present WT conductor was treated in such a cold an impassionate way with the primary concern being to protect the Society against liability, how would my family be treaded if the accident would have been fatal. Or how would a single or “lesser one” have been treated.
From that point on everything connected with Organization and myself was different. My view of it was forever altered. The brother charged with overseeing the project called my home and apologized for the treatment or lack thereof that I had received after the accident. The PO even jokingly said from the platform that “I had put my neck on the line for project” in an attempt to drum up support of the ongoing project. I tried to overlook what I felt were insensitive comments reasoning that I may have been a little to “touchy” about the whole matter.
So this incident coupled with all the other Organizational politics were slowly eroding away my confidence in WTBTS as being the one and only solution for mankind. However were do you go to arrest or substantiate lingering doubts. As an elder you dare not openly talk about your concerns that would raise eyebrows amongst the BOE your family or “the friends”. So you keep going through the motions feeling trapped and in denial and looking, hoping and praying for some type of resolution.
One evening while out shopping with my wife in late Nov. 2001 I got a call on my cell phone that a fellow elder had called my home trying to reach me. I called him and he said that his wife had been surfing on the Net. on their new computer and came across a site that had someone who evidently was an elder, who posted his notes from the KMS school we had just attended. Elders with the proper I.D as most know only attend this school. I asked if we could come by so I could see exactly what he was talking about. When we arrived his wife was very upset that he had told me about the discovery and kept stating they we should not be looking at what appeared to be an “Apostate” site. Over her objection he showed be the info, and to my surprise he was absolutely correct about it being a synopsis of the school but it was very critical of the school, in fact calling it boring and more of the same old dribble. This was the school when the Cong. Book study Conductor duties changed and the 15 min. reporting rule was announced.
I asked for a copy of the info and subsequently started to investigate the cite (Watchtower Observer) for myself. This led to my coming across Ray’s books and from there things started to move very fast. I conducted my last WT lesson on the last Sunday
of 2001 and my last Book study on the first Tuesday of 2002. The following week I resigned as an elder after close to 8 years (it would have 8 years in February).
A considerable local drama unfolded over the next 6 months, culminating in submitting our letters of withdrawal to the CO on the front porch of our home.
For the sake of brevity I will stop at this point.
Gideon