I can't take it anymore!

BlackWolf

My dad was recently made an elder about maybe 6 months ago, and now he is never around he's always at work or doing some kind of jw crap. Now he conducts the watchtower study and is even doing the special talk tommorow. He's become an even more strict controlling jerk than he was before, and i'm never allowed to go out and do anything non jw related because he doesn't have the time. He's obsessed with us being a perfect family, if we don't do something just right he freaks out. Like last night the kitchen was a little messy and he got so mad about it that he made my mom cry and and hasn't spoken to us since yesterday. I think maybe my dad is just stressed from being an elder? Or maybe he is just mentally ill? I feel like my family is becoming more and more dysfunctional, and it's really starting to drive me a little crazy. Now I have to do twice as much jw stuff now that I'm an elders kid and I really can't take it anymore! Thanks for reading my little rant.

Witness My Fury

Console yourself in knowing it's bollocks so young and that you wont be wasting the best years of your life serving this vile cult just as soon as you are old enough to get away from it.

There is of course the "no" word. Gradually ramp up it's usage according to your circumstances.

burnedout

That is how I acted as an elder. I had to be exemplary in every way and my family also. I felt trapped in many ways, so many 'privileges' to take care of. Every bit of it was never ending work.

I too was an elders kid and felt the same way you do. My Dad was a great friend and father. The stress of being an elder is what got to him. Shamefully, I let the same thing happen to me as an elder, except I had a meltdown, nearly killed myself, then quit.

Was your Dad like this before his appointment?

Village Idiot

"I think maybe my dad is just stressed from being an elder?"

Yes.

"Or maybe he is just mentally ill?"

Being a JW is a form of mental illness. Be glad you're sane even if it's driving you mad. Yes, I see the paradox of what I just said.

stillin

I didn't get how old you are, but my advice, if you're listening, is to buck up and be as pleasant as you know how to be. It's a character-building excercise and you will benefit from it for the rest of your life.

there will be jerks for the rest of your life. Sorry.

flipper

BLACK WOLF- I know how you feel. I was born into the JW organization and my dad was an elder before I was born. Dealing with him was like dealing with your dad, he was always judgmental, expected perfection out of his kids ( us ) , and spent more time counseling members of the congregation than spending time with his own family.

Hopefully you'll turn 18 sometime soon and be able to get your own place with a roommate in order to escape the domineering head who rules your household. I know how you feel. When I was your age I wanted the hell out of my controlling dad's household also. You aren't alone, many of us are here for you and understand. I hope you don't wait until age 44 like me to exit the Witnesses as I started having doubts at age 30. But believe me, your life will be better and your thinking more free and clear once you get out. I'm 56 years old now and feel that life is great these last 12 years !

Just get a good education and prepare for college if you can by taking college prep courses in high school. Getting a college education will help you go far, further than your parents have gone. Hang in there, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

Diogenesister

No worries...keep ranting of it keeps you sane! Remember education is your key to offski out of there..so start planning now! Maybe tell your parents you'd like to do a part time job so that you can start saving to be a pioneer ( yes its a lie..but anything to make non JW contacts and gain experience/ get references for your future.

Maybe tell your mum how your feeling, that its stumbling you because Jesus was the fine( mild mannered) Shepherd and your dad is not emulating his good example!

Sounds like your dad is gonna burn himself out for nothing. It sucks that you are going to have to see him go through that and not be able to do/say a thing.

Love your avatar BTW...and your " handle"!!

Village Idiot

BlackWolf, I know you're homeschooled but take Flipper's advice about a college education. Just daydreaming about it as well as making any practical preparations will give you some relief.

James Mixon

My doctor told me when I was a new elder, if you don't slow down you will a

have a hearth attack or a mental breakdown. That was two years as a elder and at age 31.

Between raising four kids, full time night job, owning a restaurant and congregation responsibilities,

I went nuts.The marriage and family suffered. It's impossible to be model elder and family,

I never knew that guy....

BlackWolf

Thanks everyone. He was like this before he was appointed, and he's had a couple of breakdowns before when I was younger. I thought he had gotten over it and I don't want him to end up like that again but I guess there's not much I can do about it. I can understand how he is stressed, if I had 4 kids, a full time job that I hated, and I was an elder I would be pretty crazy too. I just wish there was something I could do to help.

I can't take it anymore!

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