JWs and extracurricular activities

by MoeJoJoJo 18 Replies latest jw friends

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  MoeJoJoJo

  JW children miss out on so much. I was raised as a JW and there were so many school activities that I wanted to participate in but was not allowed. I remember my gym teacher encouraging me to go out for soccer, I asked my parents if I could and of course I knew the answer would be no even before I asked. I was told that I needed to spend more time in service and preparing for meetings. (what JW child ever thought that was fun?)

  Since leaving the org, my daughter's are involved in Brownie Scouts and have made some wonderful friends and have had lots of fun. They both want to play soccer this summer and I can't wait to cheer them on.

  My son played football and baseball this past year and had an awesome time.

  I think I had even more fun watching him have fun.

  He just competed in a Destination Imagination tournament and his team won third place! DI, for those who don't know, used to be called Odyssey of the Mind. DI teaches creative problem solving and teamwork. My son's team chose a challenge where they had to tell a story about a group of entertainers who were involved in a live performance. The performers had to act out a segment of their live performance, they also had to create scenery that moved or gave the illusion of movement. They were also given an improv item (they did not know what this item would be before hand, it could be a pencil,roll of tape, etc) and use it creatively in their performance; this means not using the item as it is normally used. (the pencil could be a magic wand, etc).

  It was alot of fun. The team is already excited about competing again next year and possibly winning first place and going on to the state tournament and possibly Global finals.

  What an experience DI was for them, I think it taught them so much. They learned skills that they can carry with them the rest of their lives. If we were still JWs, I don't think that my son would have ever had this opportunity.

  JWs miss out on so much of life, they aren't allowed to or have time to enjoy so many simple things.

  What did you miss out on that you're trying to make up for now or wish you could?
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  searchfothetruth

  The first thing I did when I left the org was buy myself a powerful motorbike.

  I had been warned off buying one before as they 'endanger your life' and I actually listened!
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  MoeJoJoJo

  Search, its so empowering to take your life back isn't it?
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  xjw_b12

  MoJo. Yes it's great to be able to offer your kids the opportunity, to do things we were not allowed to do, or discouraged from doing. Our youngest daughter, was on the schools track and field team, the past few years, And she is in her 2nd year of Navy Cadets, as well as in the Navy Leaque band.

  Our son is on the school wrestling team, and we have enrolled both of them in spring soccer league for the past 6 years now. ( Tuesday and Thursday evenings LOL ! )

  They haven't known any other type of lifestyle, and that's fine by us.

  Oh and one more thing......our kids Don't Hate Weekends !
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  searchfothetruth

  Empowering doesn't do it justice.

  We were told once from the platform that if you go into a pub and the barman knows what you drink, you are in the world!

  No if's or but's, in the world. The fact that I was living in a small village at the time and there was nowhere else to go out except the local pub made a mockery of this sweeping statement. It's the self-righteousness that eventually turns people away from the Elders.
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  SheilaM

  I can't imagine my children not having participated. They are so sports minded and Anthony had such joy from swimming. I am so glad we got out when we did. Even when we were still "in" I had Anthony in soccer, I figured what was the freakin harm. They never said a word to me DARN I might have gotten out sooner.
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  rebel

  I used to have such a battle with my inner feelings over this issue.

  My poor kids - they must have sensed that I was not 100% behind banning them from karate, Guides, Scouts, school choir, school musical performance, school trips......good grief, the list goes on.

  My husband was (and most definitely still is) a control freak and would not allow them to participate in any of the above. I was more easy-going (he used to say I was spiritually wishy-washy) and I didn't mind what they did within reason. I knew we had to be careful not to let other JWs know what we were doing or they would label us as bad associates.

  WHAT UTTER ROT! I am so angry that I went along with this garbage. I am too annoyed to write any more.

  xxR
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  freedom96

  Being raised a witness meant missing out on a childhood. From day one I was expected to go to meetings and sit still. An infant, then toddler, and so on. Missing out on birthdays in elementary school. Missing out on a wider group of friends. No dating, no proms. No high school sports, etc.

  Did I have fun anyways? Sure, but not nearly what could have been.
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  Flowerpetal

  When I was a senior in 1965, I went to my senior prom and went with a witness boy. Another witness couple double dated with us. So I didn't miss out on that.

  When my daughter was 3 in 1980, I enrolled her in dancing school and she stayed with it until 14 or 15 when high school cirrculum was getting a bit rough so she quit dancing, but it was her own decision.
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  gitasatsangha

  I regret some things. In some ways though, it did make us kids more crafty.

  I had a JW girlfriend (her dad was an elder, her mom was Betty Crocker. We had chaperoned events, skating rinks once a month, etc.) just so I could have a cover to date "wordly girls". One day watching some PG movie with an afghan over us in the same room as her parents (thank God for poor heating) I discovered the JW gf had some righteous and subtle hand skills. Hallelujah and pull down the shirt front! Never did go to a prom though. To this day I wonder what a prom is like.

  The sports thing really bothered me. I was going to be in the swim team untill my parents had a lack of heart about it. I knew in the end I might have been able to make it work, even so, but being in school sports requires some kind of parental support and they offered nada. They used that method to clear the conscience about a lot of JW bs they didnt agree with. Such as: "You can take the SAT and ACT tests if you want, son, but you will have to pay for it yourself. Why not just learn a trade? Get a job with Dad in the factory." I had a friend that played HS tennis with the same problem.. lack of support. They wouldnt condemn his choice, but they wouldn't risk their neck either. It's a pity. He was excellent. He might have gotten a scholarship.

  The elder's cracked down on unsupervised gatherings, but you can only supress a group of people so far. A bunch of us from several congregatons would pay a janitor at some elementary school to let us have the gym some nights. Full court round-ball, very competitive. Gatorade commercial stuff! Those are some good memories. Finally the elders got wind of it, and started to supervise these gatherings. Yet another thing ruined.