Receiving so much hate recently....

stuckinarut2

Hi all,

Well, as you all know, my wife (unstuck) and I are not DF or DA.

We just stopped attending several years back after my "apostate" online activity was found by a nosey employee of ours while she was working in our office (long story if anyone wants to know - it would have to be another thread)

We never met with any elders - no congregation judicial activity occurred (as we would never consent to do so anyway)

So our policy has been to be the same kind, loving, normal people we have always been. Especially if we run into ones from the congregation. If they are doing cart-work, I even offer to bring them coffees whenever I see them!

But in the last few weeks, the vitriolic hate has been palpable!

We ran into a couple at the supermarket. Ones we used to spend quite some time with. He pretended to ignore us. I phoned his cell phone, and he didn't know it was me (obviously deleted my number) and on hearing me say "hi" he lets out a loud "arghh!" and hangs up!

Another family we were very close to lost a loved one in death. We took flowers around, and they didn't even acknowledge them. She has ignored us. No text response - no thanks or anything. (even my wife who has never been contacted by anyone to see how she fits in with all my "apostasy" by the way. No one has checked on her)

Yet another "brother" I was very close to (we helped them through really intense times in their lives - especially when he was inactive) happened to be near our home working, so I texted him "Hi mate - pop in for a coffee" He texted back " who is this?" When I told him, he called back, and used F^(K bombs! Yup, he actually said "why would I want a coffee with you after the F^(K you pulled?. You should get back to meetings!"

I was mild and simply said "ok no need for language mate. I'm not sure why a christian needs to use such language. I am just making a sincere offer. Our door remains open to you and your family. We are the same people we have always been. Theres no need for aggression or paranoia. But you have a nice day" He responded with "Mate, I know what you're trying to do by acting all nice to everyone"

So, its clear to me that the Elders have no doubt ensured that malicious slander has spread like wildfire in the area...

Our normal kindness is being twisted as some kind of ploy...

Well, I suppose I have always had the scripture in mind that says "people may be won without a word by virtue of your fine conduct etc"

But this is proof to me that the hive-mind, cult-mindset is real. JWs can not allow for normal human kindness. I don't blame them as individuals. It isn't their fault.

They simply don't see it either, that this means that ANY relationship they have - no matter how strong it may be - is so fragile if someone stops being a JW. But one day, if any of them wake up - our door remains open to them.

And I have to say, that the genuine, sincere friends we know in person locally who have also awoken (such as @wake me and @doubtfull1799) who know about this, have been a great support!

sparrowdown

Doesn't matter how you act or what you say if they have decided you are bad associaton or worse apostate they will interpret everything you do as some kind of ploy. Which when you think about it it is what I would call a strategy - a strategy of how to deal with cult controlled people.

If they behaved like "normal" people and just said "hi how's it going" etc etc when they saw you instead of acting like you are somehow worse than a serial killer for the crime of not going to meetings and you have ebola you/we wouldn't need a "ploy"/strategy to deal with their craziness.

Ps - My strategy now is indifference. Went through all the stages of "dealling with them" fear and running away, anger and seething, chatty and polite, now, I 'm at "not giving a shit."

pale.emperor

He responded with "Mate, I know what you're trying to do by acting all nice to everyone"

This is actually cognitive dissonance at work.

The borg says "apostates are unhappy, deceitful, hateful and angry"

You're nice to him, which blows his preconception of you - therefore you must be PRETENDING to be nice, therefore you really are unhappy, deceitful, hateful and angry.

The borg wins.

stuckinarut2

Thanks for the comments Sparrow and Pale!

I see your points. Yup - well said.

kairos

Sorry about the way people treat you that are supposed to love their enemies.
Gotta shout about how they are the 'true religion' because of the love amongst themselves.

They'll never learn.
You can't talk bad about everyone in 'the world' and expect them to be drawn to you.

JWs repel people because of their cruel conduct and reputation.
There's no hiding it anymore.

JakeM2012

Yes, I can identify with your feelings. Recently, last winter, I wanted to send a gift of high quality steaks to my Mom who has my brother living with her as he is unemployed. Yes, he hasn't been weened. I had a great year and appreciating God's grace, I wanted to share, nothing more and nothing less.

I was called by the company and they said they refused the order. On one side I regretted making the order, because they are great at making up lies and no telling what story they came up with. Then, on the other side of me, I thought, good, that shows me their heart condition. My family, as many JW families are full of hatred, anger, and intolerance.

I suggest concentrating on the windshield (the future and future friends) and just not worry about trying to sustain any relationship with your former friends associated with Jw's. Of course, be peaceable with all men as you have done. They are interpreting your kindness as antagonistic.

You can continue to do CPR on a dead person, but eventually you have to call it for what it is. They do not want a relationship with you or your wife, you are as dead to them. Take a new photo and continue "onward through the fog".

LongHairGal

STUCKINARUT2:

I am sorry for the hate you are receiving from JWs, but you are “out” to them and that’s the way it is nowadays with the JW religion. I know from personal experience.

You say you and your wife have been out a few years? Well, I think you should move on and make new non-JW friends. I know people have done what you did because they think they are going to win some JW over and it shows you are the same “loving” guy. Don’t waste your time.

I see NO point in you going out of your way to be all nice and sugary to the Witnesses. (Bringing coffee😳to cart people?).. (If it’s a family member that’s the only exception.). Otherwise, stay the hell away from these bastards. It’s like casting pearls before swine. You are not going to make them like you and it’s undignified, IMO.

Unless it’s your intention to go crawling back to the JW religion, give it up and forget them all.

ToesUp

My spouse and I have felt some unkindness as well.

We will only allow it to happen once and that is it. If no one wants us around, they don't deserve us. I have ZERO expectations from anyone anymore. With zero expectations, you can't be disappointed (this goes for "worldly" people as well).

We are here if people want us and they treat us with respect, kindness and love. Otherwise, they can take a hike!

I am sorry stuck that you and your wife have been treated this way. No one deserves that. Not very Christlike behavior for those professing to be Christians.

JakeM2012

Longhairgirl, casting your pearls before swing is an excellent application!

Beth Sarim

Sorry for your problems these days Stuck. Unfortunately these days with the ramped-up fear and hostility seems to be off the chart. Others are right. We can just forget about 'em, it's hard but life isn't worth about peoples' insecurities.

Receiving so much hate recently....

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