Receiving so much hate recently.... (page 3)

Pete Zahut

Proverbs 25:21,22 If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink; For you will heap burning coals on his head, And the LORD will reward you.

JW's claim they are being loyal to Jehovah when they shun you but in reality the main motivation for shunning is that it makes them feel extra virtuous about themselves. It's the only bit of personal power that they are allowed to exercise. It's not about Jehovah, it's about them having taken personal offense because your actions have caused them to look at things they don't want to think about.

Being an angry apostate gives them fuel for their fire. Being kind or even behaving as a normal decent person ruins their ability to feel superior to us. It heaps fire coals upon their heads when we do so.

Giordano

But this is proof to me that the hive-mind, cult-mindset is real. JWs can not allow for normal human kindness. I don't blame them as individuals. It isn't their fault.

Let me turn that thought around. By the way I am a real fan of your insights and forum posts. So we are just having a conversation. Here's what I would say.

I miss my old friends in the congregation I grew up in. Many were much older then me but showed me a genuine affection. Until they realized my wife and I were no longer a part of the JW construct.

None remained friends even though in the mid 1960's you could DA yourself and not be shunned. But we expected that and were resigned to lose our decade old friendships.

We were not troubled by lost friendships as they demonstrated their conditional love.

I stayed neutral re the JW's especially with my family. And then something happened that changed my thinking and my wife's.

Nov. 18 1978......Jonestown happened and of the nine hundred plus people who died.........over 300 children died often in the arms of their parents. And IT Was The Fault of those parents. They threw away their family love and responsibility to love, cherish and keep them safe.

They chose their insane leadership over their close family & friends...... even over their innocent children.

This is what I learned about Jonestown: when it comes to the safety of one's family you don't put them in a difficult and dangerous situation....it is the parents responsibility to know better.

When it comes to one's children, mate and close friendships why abandon them for a bitter cup of fruit juice laced with poison.

A total of over nine hundred women, men and children went to their painful deaths because of a belief that turned ugly. Because of leadership that had become insane.

Because in not fighting back they made their families vulnerable to the rantings of a madman and his gun toting lackeys.

I cut away any good feelings about people who would knowingly sacrifice the lives of family and friends to remain in the good graces of their leadership. Not poison but quackery when it came to blood transfusions, transplants back in the 1970'd, marriages torn apart, their children's lives ruined because of early baptisms. People who set aside their ability to think rationally preferring a delusion that jeopardized their family.

It is your fault if you accept a corrupted dogma and act on it.

If you are breaking away from that dogma and need help it is available on this and other forums.

millie210

Sorry about the treatment Stuck.

I cannot fathom how enormously threatening we faders are to the Org.

They thought they had the bases covered with the hateful disfellowshipping policy and then some of us come along and dont land in the coverage zone!

I hope it helps to know that you are not alone.

Unstuck

I wouldn't send texts or emails unless you are prepared for a bad/no response and are ok with that. Why put yourself through that?

Mentalclarity - you are so right! When Stuck sees JWs, he goes out of his way to show kindness and be the same person that he always was in the past. I think he is trying to prove that he has not changed - that he is kind and thoughtful still.

Except, the real truth is, WE HAVE CHANGED! We are no longer trapped in a cult, we no longer believe JW doctrine, we have freed ourselves of all of that. While I get the point of Stuck's behaviour and what some have posted here - that kindness heaps coals on their head and yes, I agree Pale Emp, it is cognitive dissonance that has got them all hot under the collar (and I think they're frustrated because they don't have enough on us to take any definitive action so that just adds to their anger) I have to ask - what is the point?

Why act like we haven't changed? We have! Why act like we don't know what they've said and what they think about us? We do! (Ok - we don't know exactly what they've said but I think all of us can guess and be pretty much accurate!) Why should that bother us now? We have fabulous new friends and so much support and we are so very lucky to have each other and believe me, we talk non-stop at home about all sorts of stuff, not just which JWs are shunning us, but what can we do to help others in the exJW community? What new podcast or thought or concept have we just come across that we can share with each other?

Stuck - from me, let's not let these people upset us. They honestly aren't worth it. We ARE better than them, we behave better than them - but we don't need to show them that. They clearly don't appreciate it and it's just wasted effort. We just need to keep proving that we are better, and keep getting better, to ourselves. Let's focus our energies on helping others - we have so much to give!
Everyone else - I know moving out of the area would help tremendously. We've been in the area for 20 years and for Stuck it's harder than it is for me. I work in a totally different area so I'm not as exposed as he is. I'm torn between knowing that moving would help and not wanting to put ourselves through so much change just because a few culty people don't like that we are around. Who are they to make us feel like that? Who are they to make us go running somewhere else? Practically, it would be very difficult to move and would cost resources that we don't have. In the meantime, we need to cope with the situation as best as we can. My way is to not invite situations where I come into contact with them. If it happens, like it did at the dentist the other day (which actually went ok - I wasn't shunned, which surprised me) then I will be the best version of me that I can be - but I'm not going to go looking for them. I can't be stuffed!!
Thank you everyone for your support. It was all of you that got Stuck through the years that I wasn't awake. I didn't know that he had posted the events of the last few days - so logging on today during my lunch break and seeing all of your words of encouragement and support has really made my day!
Love and light to you all - mwah mwah!!
Unstuck

stuckinarut2

Wow!

I am so appreciative of all these comments everyone! Thank you!

And to have Unstuck also comment here is priceless! What an amazing gift it is to have one's spouse and best friend out of the cult with me. I know that so many here have not had this positive opportunity - and my heart goes out to you. I see that this puts everything into perspective.

The Fall Guy

I totally feel for you Stuck, and every other faded/ex JW who feels pain when they are shunned by former friends and family members.

I genuinely believe that very many JW's are mentally ill-at-ease, not only with the cult lifestyle in general, but especially so with the oppressive changes enforced in recent years. As such, when a "fellow worker at the grindstone" unshackles the harness and abandons the pointless drudgery & strife and walks away, those still shackled experience seriously conflicting emotions - the inculcated hatred, but also envy of the one escaping.

The vast majority of blinded, non-thinking JW's deserve a chance to see. Those in the cult who are fully aware, deserve the plagues which are coming their way.

punkofnice

Stucky. Oh, snap. The 'happiest people on Earth(TM) strike again. Bleedin' idiots.

You are correct, the hive mind is in full swing. You are dealing with drones that cannot see their leaders in a bad light. Anyone that says things that they don't want to hear frightens them stiff. I've long given up bothering with these poor excuses for corporation slaves.

They prove to be the very opposite of what their attempted public image is all about.

There is no love in that hell hole. The Governing body cascade vile hatred down from their putrid thrones in Warwick (they can't even pronounce it properly).

There is nothing Christian about the Jobos. Quite the opposite. A pity they can't see it. their lives are hell.

If we were within close proximity, I'd have coffee with you both.............but you're paying

dozy

Can you think of anything that might have triggered a sudden change in attitude? Odd after several years have lapsed.

I'm faded for nearly 10 years now , not DFd & still see JWs occasionally around the city , in supermarkets , parks etc. I always try to be friendly to them and most are reasonably friendly in return. A couple of them though will literally cross the road to avoid me and when I stopped attending meetings I got three or four texts / emails to the effect of "our friendship has ended - please never contact me - I've blocked your number" etc.

What I kind of find odd is that the super spiritual , self righteous types still speak to me whereas mainly those who shun me are the marginal "worldly" JWs. Doesn't make sense , really. Then again - nothing much makes sense in the JW world.

punkofnice

Image result for punkofnice asleep

lastmanstanding

If I was in that situation, and one day I will be, then I will simply ask them...

“please treat me as Jesus directly said you should, at Matthew 18:15-17”

”I have a man of the nations living next to me on my right, and a tax collector on my left. When you preached in my neighborhood, you went to their homes and talked to them, very politely, and you listened to their view.”

”You did not do what Jesus said that you must.”

“You were to come to me to tell me personally what my fault was. You did not do what Jesus said, to bring two witnesses so that they could hear the charge and my response. You did not do what Jesus said, to express all matters to the congregation.”

”Instead you conducted yourself as the Phrasees did, keeping secrets, judging the Christ in a star chamber, hiding your actions.”

”It is not I, but you that “have fallen away, it is impossible to revive them again to repentance, because they nail the Son of God to the stake again for themselves and expose him to public shame. Hey. 6:6

Receiving so much hate recently....

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