What's The STRANGEST Thing You've Seen At A Kingdom Hall?

by minimus 113 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Rocky_Girl

  This has sort of turned into funny stories at the KH, so here are two of mine.

  There was a young, single ex-bethelite elder/pioneer in our congregation (too old for me, I was only 15-16) who really was a fun guy. He treated me like a little sister and I had a huge crush on him.

  Once, while he was reading for the WT study, I motioned to him that his fly was unzipped as he stood to read. He was so flustered that he had some issues reading, which made several others look at him funny, which caused him to turn red and feel even more sure that he was exposed. After he finished the paragraph and sat down, he realized he was all zipped up. He flipped me off discreetly. He was pulled aside after the meeting and was sure that he was caught. He was counseled about distracting young sisters during the meeting. (close call)

  Another time, he asked me last minute to be his householder for a presentation. He told me to say I was busy and about to go engage in risky behavior of some sort (the WT was on that subject) and then follow his lead through the rest of the presentation. So when he approached the "door" I said I could only stop for a moment because I was on my way to go skydiving. He wasn't expecting that, I guess, because it struck him so funny that he was speechless. The whole cong started giggling at his reaction and he barely made it through the rest of his part.

  He was such a great guy and he was treated horribly by our congregation's elders, who wanted him to stay single. He wanted to be married so badly. I keep hoping to run into him on here someday.

  ~RG
• 

  BluesBrother

  Man , this thread is priceless ! I wish I could match some of the disasters here recalled.

  Best I can do is when I was giving a public talk in our home congregation and this sister on the front row, suddenly had a stomach upset and started vomited loudly ! Somebody took a plant out of it's pot and passed her the pot , but it was too late really. Poor soul . I felt a mixture of humour and compassion.

  My talks had that effect on people it seems!
• 

  Vidiot

  Rocky_Girl - "He was such a great guy and he was treated horribly by our congregation's elders..."

  Ain't that how it usually goes?

  The nice guys who play fair, follow the rules, and trust that they'll receive "God's Blessing" almost always seem to end up getting the short end of the stick, and from what I hear, it's happening more and more lately.

  I guess we shouldn't be surprised; the ruthless will always prevail over the humble in the short term (but only the short term).
• 

  Vidiot

  minimus - "What's the STRANGEST thing you've sen at a Kingdom Hall?"

  Debit/credit card machines.
• 

  SeventhSojourn

  Brother is giving the public talk in a Florida KH. We notice a little lizard has made it's way to the platform and has appeared on the wall behind the speaker. Throughout his talk it scampers around here and there, from wall to floor, with the speaker unaware. Eventually, the lizard skittles accross the stage floor getting closer and closer to the speaker. Then it moves to about an inch from his shoe. It looks up for a moment. The speaker's pant leg had an opening at the cuff big enough for the lizard to make it through. That lizard froze there, poised to run up inside the speaker's trousers. It was riviting! Just as the lizard moved onto the speaker's shoe the talk ended and he moved his foot. The lizard scurried away to lie in wait for the WT conductor. They had to catch and remove him from the KH. I don't remember one thing from that talk but I remember the little apostate lizard disrupting the meeting.
• 

  problemaddict

  pig human hybrids? apostate lizards?

  I have nothing to top this. I did serve in a foreign country so we had all manner of power trips and odd things coming from the stage in droves. One brother who kind of ran the joint, railed against colored shirts. I mean it was like a crazy long local needs, and all about colored shirts not being suitable for the stage.

  I had the next part, and guess what was wearing. I think because it was light blue it didn't set him off, but I was from another country so even though he was an elder, I figured out i kind of "outranked" him.

  Hilarious.
• 

  Julia Orwell

  Yes, we had an apostate lizard once, running along the floor. I was worried it would scare some little old dear or get trapped in the hall and die of starvation.
• 

  minimus

  It makes me feel ood that some of my threads withstand the hands of time....interesting isn't it???
• 

  Bob_NC

  So funny all of youse guys. Thank you for sharing. I can't top any, but here goes.

  We were coming up short in the contribution boxes for a few months, shorter than usual anyway. Then one day the Accts. Servant found inside a contribution box a stiff wire that comes out of the back of the old timey blue bound volume covers. You know the kind? On the tip of the wire was a big wad of bubble gum. Someone had evidently been using the wire to stick to bills in the contribution box and pull them out. Pretty slick, and a regular attender too.

  I almost forgot the time that a sister was caught with a key stuck in the contribution box and the door open. It was the spare key kept in the literature servants box behind the counter. No one knew about the spare key, so she had been snooping. When asked where she got the key, she said that it was in the box already and that she was checking to see if anything had been taken.

  We had a brother decide that he was anointed. He didn't tell anyone in advance, but here is how we knew. At Memorial he drank the entire glass of wine. HAHAHA! The brother serving had to come up to the platform for more wine as the glass was empty. When I left the org, I called this now DFd anointed brother to talk and asked him about it, and asked what was he thinking to drink to the entire glass. He said that he was making a statement that no one can tell him whether he is anointed or not.

  We had a sweet older brother die on stage giving a student talk on the TMS. He was given CPR on stage by a brother with certification and cared for by an RN sister, but he died within a few minutes. Unlike some other examples, we ended the meeting and everyone went home.
• 

  laverite

  We were forced to go to the meetings, no matter what. When I was about 16, I was forced to go to the Thursday night meeting despite coming down with a horrible case of stomach flu!!! I was obviously not supposed to vomit at the KH, however. We get to the hall, and at the very moment the prayer was about to start, I had to run back to bathroom, barely made it and was violently ill for the next several minutes. The problem was that when I am "sick" I am louder than anyone I have ever heard before. I have absolutely no control over this. Apparently, all the entire hall could hear was the violently ill person puking in the back of the hall. When I left the bathroom, I was immediately escorted out and driven home.