What's The STRANGEST Thing You've Seen At A Kingdom Hall?

by minimus 113 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  termite 35

  I remember a Watchtower study about ( not ) Slowing down in old age.

  An elder's wife answered and spoke about ' as you become older everything slows down and you get limp...' she glanced at her husband and the whole place erupted as he reddened and sank into the floor- it was the best meeting I ever went to- in the end people we setting eachother off again and again, crying with huge painful sobs of laughter, the poor woman did'nt even know what was so funny .

  The strangest was at a convention.We were told by two attendants as we filed in to the loo to pee, that we had to 'hurry up and only pull the chain if absolutely necessary'

  eg everyone will know who craps and who dos'nt... some kind of bowel monitoring initiative perhaps ?!!If you took longer than about 30 seconds they banged on the door and shouted stuff like 'come on, come on...' weird or what?!
• 

  riz

  Anyway this pompous ass starts saying there is a state statute that all children born of a union between pigs and humans had to be destroyed at birth. And he was very adamant that this was the proper thing to do.

  The REALLY wierd part was when a lot of people started nodding up and down. Damn Right! You cant suffer a pig baby in this neck of the woods! Finally some older sister said that in her apartment block a woman had given birth to a baby with the face of a big and that "people from the government" came and took it away.

  ROTFLMAO!!!!
• 

  Mac

  Well, this may not qualify as strange but, it brought quite a smile to my face!

  A pioneer brother and an elder from my hall had gone on a return visit with to an elderly gentlman they'd been converting conversing with. This old fella had a habit of rocking his chair back on it's rear legs. On this occasion he put his powers of balance to the ultimate test by leaning back just a wee bit too far........the test was a failure. The thing about it was that after he had fallen completely backward he continued his conversation laying on his back with his legs dangling over the overturned chair without missing a beat or even acknowledging that the event occured! They cut the visit short unable to stifle their laughter after having witnessed this peculiar non-reaction. (Yes, they righted him before leaving!)

  Anyway, the next morning the elder was giving the Sunday discourse and glanced at the pioneer brother that had accompanied him the previous day. When their eyes locked the brother smiled and rocked back his chair, setting off the most uncontrolled laughter on the part of poor brother elder. The poor guy tried for about 5 straight minutes to continue with his talk only to lose it again before finally announcing that the Watchtower study would be starting 20 minutes early! harharhar

  mac,of the loves to get lost in that rock n' roll class
• 

  nowisee

  hahahahaheeheeheehee,,,, this is hilarious

  my story won't compare but,

  when i was l0 or ll, about to give my first demonstration at theocratic ministry school. my father at that time was tms servant and had coached me, going over and over everything i was going to say and how to say it. i had brand new black patent leather maryjane shoes on which kept slipping on the kh linoleum floor. i told my partner that i was afraid i would fall. well guess what happened. just after finishing the demo, getting up, i FELL OFF THE STAGE. (about 3 steps). the two of us started laughing while my father was trying to critique....i held my nose to try to stop laughing, which only caused the 2 of us to EXPLODE in laughter. couldn't stop no matter what. we were HYSTERICAL.

  my father was not pleased.
• 

  DFWnonJW

  These are great stories!

  Most of my meeting / study attendance was years and years ago and being "strange" seemed quite normal back then.

  Once saw the two elders in a small congregation arguing over the best way to roll up the vacuum cleaner cord. Seems that elder A always knew the best way to do absolutely everything and elder B was trying to stand his ground on this one! I stood there amazed as they were turning redder by the second and thought for sure that fists would fly but it didn't come to that. Obviously deeper problems there.
• 

  PopeOfEruke

  In my sister's congregation, one night at the TMS, an elderly sister finished giving her talk, returned to her seat next to my sister, and died. The stupid Elder kept on giving the poor lady counsel on her talk!! Anyway an attendant checked her, my sister told him that the lady was dead, but the great body of elders didn't know what to do. They left her sitting in her chair dead and eventually during the Service Meeting my sister caused a ruckus and said she has to be taken away. So they carried her to the back of the hall. Of course the meeting never stopped, the "truth" is too important to be put on hold for such things as a death.

  Another one I heard was that at the memorial one year a group of "women" wearing flimsy white gowns and no shoes all came into the KH, sat in the front row, and all partook of the emblems. They were said to be crazies or apostates, but AFAIK they didn't cause any disturbance, apart from getting all the tongues wagging afterwards.

  Pope
• 

  Mulan

  My husband was conducting the WT and the Circuit overseer and his wife were there visiting, on their vacation. They had another CO and wife with them. A woman who was a guest of one of our older sisters, stood up and stated her name, and told who brought her and why she was there, and went on and on. Dave smiled and let her talk. When she sat down, he thanked her for sharing. How he kept a straight face, I'll never know. The rest of us were dying...............laughing. Afterwards the two CO's came up to him and said they were very glad that didn't happen while they were conducting, and everyone laughed. The poor sister who brought her was sinking lower and lower in her seat.

  Another time, a man walked into the KH, during the public talk, walked right up to the speaker and put a pack of cigarettes on the podium, and walked to the back and sat down. I guess he was inspired to quit. Never did get the story on that one.

  About 27 years ago, my girlfriend and I went to visit my sister in law for a few days, in California. We went to the meeting the first night. I guess she had gas because right in the middle of the meeting she thought she was letting out a silent one, and it was just LOUD. I didn't move, or look at her or anything. She didn't react either. I never said a word to her about it either. That was hard.
• 

  Mulan

  Another one a friend of my folks told us about. He was a CO in the Southern U.S., and this congregation was full of very simple, very poor people. During his talk a child (about 2 years old) was talking to a big fat woman across the aisle, not his mother either. She motioned for him to come on over to her, and he climbed onto her lap, and she hawled out a breast for him to suck on. He had a very hard time continuing with his talk after that.
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  minimus

  Mulan, that breast story is so funny......Here's a couple more for ya. An elder hears a song about the new system played as the opening song for the TMS. He had been asked to say the opening prayer. He gets up on the platform only to cry like a baby...He's very emotional.....He apologizes for crying but says that he he known that this certain was going to be played, he would have never agreed to open with prayer!.....Another one that I remember was how a certain sister breast fed her 6 year old boy on a regular basis at the meetings. Being old enough, he would just unbutton his mother's blouse, pull out a breast and suck away. She always sat in the rear of the Hall and when she would show up, you'd be amazed at how many brothers would "volunteer" to be attendants.
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  Scarlet

  The most interesting thing that ever happend at my Hall was when I about 9 years old this man ( who was a baptized witness generally a passive quiet man) comes raging into the hall with 2 huge trash bags filled with Watchtowers screaming at the top of his lungs that he No longer wants this in his house and does not want him or his family apart of this cult. They had to get 5 or 6 brothers to escort him out of the hall he was kicking and screaming all the way out. I remember I thought that was a really cool thing to happen.