What's The STRANGEST Thing You've Seen At A Kingdom Hall?

by minimus 113 Replies latest jw friends

  • pseudoxristos
    pseudoxristos

    A brother gave a talk in the Wednesday night meeting; one of the key points of the talk was make sure that you pronounced everything correctly. In just about every other sentence he would use the word “pronunciation.” Every time he said it, he would pronounce it wrong. The talk seemed to drag on forever. Finally when he was done the school conductor had to come to the podium and tell him how he did on his talk. Everyone had a good laugh when the conductor informed him of the correct way to pronounce the word “pronunciation.” I felt very sorry for the guy.

    pseudo

  • Xandria
    Xandria

    One meeting, we had the front doors to the K.H. open for a while they were moving something earlier.. and I guess a bird flew in and they did not notice. Well during the meeting a lady in the back got a sprinkle..on her shoulder. She began looking around...

    She must of thought it was plaster or something until she tried to brush it off. At this point I am turning purple from trying not to laugh. Then the freaking bird figures it has enough of this place and starts fluttering around trying to find an exit. But there are no window in these joints, as we all know. So here is this poor bird .. flutter, flutter bam! flutter flutter swoop bam, and a few of the sisters started screaming afraid of this fluttering menace. The brother is trying to continue his talk.. and the bird is stilling all his thunder.

    I swear you thought it was Orson Well's movie "The Birds" attacking. By this time, I am in the back laughing so hard I am crying. The Brothers are trying to herd this bird with watchtowers and awakes waving around and all it is doing is causing this poor bird to ram itself trying to escape the watchtower's that were being waved at it. Poor Tweety!

    Finally they got the bird out.. but not after the bird terrorized the whole congregation. The ladies with the big hair do's were the first to claw and climb to get out of the way. AH... memories.

    Xandria

  • berylblue
    berylblue

    There was a funeral at the KH for a woman married to a non believer; all her relatives were "worldly". Half way through what I'm sure everyone else thought was a most moving talk, the woman's brother stands up and starts screaming, "You are all going to hell. This is a pack of lies. (The resurrection)." He went on for a bit, and no one removed him. He sat down as suddenly as he had risen, and said nothing more for the rest of the talk.

    We did have a man who was very mentally ill. He'd do well for a while because he'd take his meds, and then he'd go off them and go crazy at a meeting, yelling stuff out during the talks and WT study.

    The circuit overseer's wife fell down the steps on the way to the B School in the basement.

    But I think the best was....Joan.

    Now Joan was one of the most beautiful women I'd ever seen. Just lovely. And so modest. However, she had one flaw. She was as clumsy as hell. She would trip and fall over anything. To make matters worse, our cong was poor; we needed new carpeting, but we couldn't afford it, so there were splits and holes in the rug. Of course, Joan would fall over all of them. We used to have to re-arrange the seats to "hide" the worst tears, but it mattered not. This woman would manage to trip over a miniscule piece of dust on the floor. We used to wait and see how many times she would fall during a meeting. I honestly can't remember a meeting during which she didn't fall. It was too funny....

    As far as genuine humor goes, however, I had to admit I was the funniest person around. Which wasn't difficult. I remember one time in particular, we were supposed to be contributing for a new Assembly Hall. Since my meeting attendance was not the best, I'd apprently missed the meeting where we were told that the contributions would cease for a while, pending the Society's approval of our plans. So I go up to the elder in charge, and hand him my money, and he tells me he's not sure he should take it. I said, "Fine, just give me the money back and I'll go get a beer instead. His wife burst into laughter and he glared in disapproval.

    Then there was a talk about not saving seats at conventions. The point was more than belabored. It was painful. It just went on and on. At the end of the talk, I raised my hand and said, "Are we allowed to save seats?" Some persons laughed but most were shocked and the dumb brother droned on for another three minutes about it. So I guess that kind of backfired on me.

    Beryl
    ..

  • MoeJoJoJo
    MoeJoJoJo

    This probably doesn't qualify as strange but gross instead. One Thurs. night meeting this single father and his young son were sitting on the front row, well the kid gets sick and throws up right there in front of the podium. The speaker paused, looked down, then continued with his talk looking a few shades paler. The poor mortified father rushed his son to the bathroom, and returned with a roll of paper towels. A couple of nice sisters got up and helped him, I didn't have the stomach for it.

  • cruzanheart
    cruzanheart

    My favorite is Gamalial's story about the crawdads! That's priceless! I don't think I can top any of these stories -- the most interesting time I had at meetings was when the power would go out in St. Croix and we'd have to finish the meeting by candlelight. Oh, yes, and the two geckos who lived behind the Spanish and English text on the stage wall. They'd come out and hunt for bugs during the evening meetings and provide comic relief for those of us who were really, really bored.

    In fact really, really boring meetings are just about all I remember.

    Nina

  • SixofNine
    SixofNine
    Then there was a talk about not saving seats at conventions. The point was more than belabored. It was painful. It just went on and on. At the end of the talk, I raised my hand and said, "Are we allowed to save seats?"

    LOL. I think I love you.

  • TR
    TR

    At one hall, we had this demented Gomer-'hovah who would sit in the front row. During the talk he would stand up, turn around facing the crowd and do a Nixon impression, holding his hands up in victory signs and shaking his cheeks.

    He is one of those "single weirdo 'hovah dudes" that I posted about a while back.

    TR

  • minimus
    minimus

    One time ,Hochimin, one of our posters, was giving a talk in our congregation. Suddenly, out of the blue, came this chirping sound of MAMA. A few seconds later, another MAMA. And then a second later ,MAMA. Ho looked up from his notes and tried to dismiss this man's voice repetitiously saying, MAMA. Everyone in this man's row, including the man that was studying with him, did nothing while this men started yelling, MAMAMAMAMAMA-----on and on. (He was going thru an epileptic seizure.) Finally an attendant went over to them to see if he could be of assistance. He was told that he should just be left alone until he stopped screaming, MAMA. HoChi Min continued on with the talk for another 10 minutes while this man kept crying for his MAMA.......Another true story that can be verified.

  • HoChiMin
    HoChiMin

    Minimus, how do you remember these things?

    The guy was yelling as I recall, MAMA MAMA MAMA MAMA,with a nasal sounding voice as he was falling under the seats. I think he was in his 50's.

    I should have stopped yapping and asked if he needed help, but hindsite is always better.

    HCM

  • benext
    benext

    A disfellowhipped brother walked up the aisle during the Public Talk yelling from the back to the front: "It's a sin for a man to force another man to lie down with him." Then he sits down in the front row. The elders asked his father to speak to him to get him to leave but he wouldn't. Finally the meeting was stopped, the police were called and took him out. He was then banned from any meetings. He had formerly been in jail and one can only feel bad for what apparently happened there.

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