Will Be Talking to the Elders Soon

by Saename 15 Replies latest members private

  • Saename
    Saename

    Hello everyone! So I've stopped going to the meetings probably around 10 months ago or so... For that period of time, nobody was interested to see what was going on—why I stopped. I didn't care to tell them either.

    But recently my mother and my brother visited me from Poland, and they... well, although they are not baptized or anything of the sort, they do believe in JW doctrines. They are convinced JWs have the truth, so they got in touch with the local congregation. Now, in this local Kingdom Hall, there are actually three congregations. They first went to the local congregation (which I was a member of), but then they started attending meetings of another congregation which meets in the same Kingdom Hall. This is because there is an elder in this congregation who speaks their native language (which is also my native language.)

    They told him about me—that I stopped attending the meetings. He and I know each other, so he knew who my family was talking about. Then this elder got in touch with another Polish JW in my city who also knows me. Now they both want to talk to me about my absence.

    So it seems like I'll be talking to them soon about why I no longer go to the meetings (although the elder who studies with my family also wants know more about me as a person.)

    Personally, I don't care about that. I'm fine with it. Ever since I started studying philosophy and logic, I began to have a different worldview than I used to have as a JW. Now I think debates are an important part of making sure your beliefs are rationally justified. I want to talk to people about the disagreements we may have. This is the case for two reasons. Firstly, I want to make sure I am not making any logical fallacies in my argumentation. Secondly, I want others to see why their belief systems are unreasonable—if they are, of course. That extends to Jehovah's Witnesses. If a JW wants to talk to me about their religion, I'm always free to do that.

    Having that said, I am fully aware that the discussions I'm going to have with the two elders (they want to talk to me separately—they live in different parts of the city, so they probably don't even know about one another's plans) will not be productive. In most cases, JWs are indoctrinated to believe they have the truth no matter what. They are often immune to criticism—not because they can answer it but because they are... well, brainwashed. So, those discussions won't be productive. I'm almost certain about that.

    The only thing that can come out of this? My family may begin to shun me, but as I said, they're not baptised or anything, they're only studying the Bible, so this conclusion doesn't necessarily follow from the premises. It's just a mere possibility.

  • cha ching
    cha ching

    Dear Saename, it's really weird how people who are "not JWs, but believe" and JWs who do "everything and anything except go to meetings, conventions and service" will turn you in, and treat you as a wicked demon possessed apostate in a blink of an eye.

    If you DO get DF'd, they WILL shun you & treat you differently.

    Do you really think it's worth the effort and mind numbing, head banging conversation just to "make sure I am not making any logical fallacies in my argumentation. Secondly, I want others to see why their belief systems are unreasonable—if they are"????

    What is more important to you? Trying to prove something to them? or your family.... it really will come down to that... that is what the brainwashing is all about... 'eradicate the unbeliever.'

    Let us know what you decide, good luck! cha ching

  • Finkelstein
    Finkelstein

    So Saename why dont you just be upfront and honest and say your not interested for personal reasons and cut it short ?

    If your relatives still think the JWS is telling the Truth which it is not, then let them believe without your intervention, they may catch on later down the road .

  • jp1692
    jp1692
    Saename: Firstly, I want to make sure I am not making any logical fallacies in my argumentation.

    Well, it's not like the elders will be able to help you with that!

  • jp1692
    jp1692
    Saename: Secondly, I want others to see why their belief systems are unreasonable—if they are, of course.

    Their belief system is internally contradictory and incoherent. There's a reason JWs are not allowed to question official church doctrines: they don't stand up to a critical examination and rigorous scrutiny. But again, it's not like any elders will be able to help you with that.

    So meeting with the elders is just a waste of time and will certainly NOT help you achieve your stated goals.

  • Splash
    Splash

    It doesn't matter what the elders want. They want to talk to you? Well I'd tell them no thanks and stick to it. Don't feel like you have to explain yourself, you don't. You owe them nothing.

    They do not have your best interests at heart, are not your friends, and just want to tie up a loose end. You.

    They will not reason and discuss with you, but will be close minded, two faced, deceitful and use your words against you by misrepresenting what you say and even putting words in your mouth. They will report back to the elder body so they can decide how best to deal with you.

    Step away from this toxic and escalating situation and spare yourself the inevitable problems they will cause for you.

    Say "No!" and mean it.

  • Crazyguy
    Crazyguy

    Don't meet with them and instead work on waking your family up!

  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    You'll certainly teach the elders something - that you are definitely an apostate in the making.

    Enjoy the persecution which will inevitably follow. Or you could simply take the very good advice you've just been given by everyone here, and tell the elders you've got nothing you wish to discuss at the moment.

  • Saename
    Saename

    So I've already had a discussion with two elders (one was once a circuit overseer but had to step down because of his age) (two different elders; I didn't mention them in my post). My family and I were supposed to meet up with an elder to ask him a favour. He, however, invited the other elder to come over. He secretly planned to talk to me about why I no longer attend meetings. So we ended up talking about it.

    We discussed different topics, and I don't exactly remember everything, but here's some of what we talked about:

    1) Lack of evidence for gods/God

    2) The 1914 prophecy

    3) Science

    4) Australian Royal Commission

    5) Faith

    It's kind of too bad that I didn't have a chance to explain all of my points. The elder "D" who was once an overseer often interrupted me. But we did have a very calm discussion, and they saw that I had a response to everything. That my decision not to attend meetings was well-thought-out.

    Now, because I've never been baptized, I was only an unbaptized publisher, I don't find it likely that I'll be shunned. It's a possibility, but not a likely one in my scenario. The elders I talked to today didn't have a single problem. They're going to leave me alone.

    Anyway, the most contentious points we discussed were the two last ones. Elder "D" actually knew about the Australian Royal Commission, but I didn't find his objections reasonable. All he did was ask me, "How much do you trust your sources?" I knew where he was headed. He wanted to say that the sources might say false things; therefore, what the ARC concluded is false as well. The point, however, is that according to the evidence, the conclusions are most likely true.

    He also disagreed that JWs use the 2-witness rule in cases of child sexual abuse. I told him about the letters which specifically mention the 2-witness rule in relation to child sexual abuse, but he wasn't convinced. He said that in his personal experience, he has always called the police whenever there was a case of child sexual abuse (I commended him for doing so.) He was always taught that even if there is only one witness, he should call the police. I suppose things are handed differently in Canada. Anyway, I told him that I can show him the letters, but then he implied that they may not be the true letters but mere forgeries. I didn't find that reasonable. He has doubts about the truthfulness of the ARC based on that. The sources might be false.... therefore.... I have a problem with that thinking. But anyway, I don't see how one can deny that in Australia, there is a problem with the 2-witness rule. There is clear evidence of that. But he just denies it based on his own experience and based on the statement that the sources might be telling inaccurate things. (It took me 15 seconds to find the letter. It was the letter from 1 October, 2012, paragraph 11. It clearly talks about the 2-witness rule.) (I also wanted to talk about the fact that children, even female children, were put in front of the judicial committee full of male elders so that they could talk about the accusation. He, however, often interrupted me when we were discussing the 2-witness rule, so I soon forgot about that.) (I also told him to look up the video recordings from the ARC. He refused to do so. I find it irrational since he asked me how far I trust the ARC. How far does he trust the ARC? Why not if he doesn't trust the ARC at all? If he wants his distrust to be rational, he should look up the video recordings. But he said he won't.)

    Another contentious point was faith. We talked about the proposition that life looks designed and therefore there must be a designer. He was quite philosophical about that, too, so that's quite good. He didn't say that there must be God (although he did come to that conclusion based on the Bible), but when it comes to this argument alone, based on that argument he came to the conclusion that there must be some designer.

    I tried to point out to him that this is a fallacy in logic called an argument from incredulity. Just because you don't see how life was created doesn't mean there was a designer. He just wasn't convinced that this was a strong enough objection. To me, it is. I try to be as reasonable as I can, so I make it a point not to commit logical fallacies. If someone refuses to recognize a logical fallacy as a reasonable objection, I don't think you can convince the person he/she is wrong.

    As we continued to talk about this topic, he pointed out that everyone has faith. We didn't have time to finish the discussion, so I wasn't able to fully explain myself. However, I pointed out that it's not productive to talk about terms; we should talk about concepts. This is because faith is an undefined concept, and everyone uses it to mean different things. I said that when it comes to the faith that one has in God—confidence in spite of lack of evidence—I don't have that type of faith. I don't have faith at all if this is a definition one should use, and this is how I use faith.

    I do, however, have confidence proportionate to the evidence. I believe the scientific consensus because of that type of confidence. I have evidence that scientists are reliable, that they use specific methods to try to come to the most reasonable conclusions; therefore, I trust them. I don't call that faith because it's a completely different thing from the faith one has in God. Hence, calling it faith would cause unnecessary confusion. It's best described as confidence proportionate to evidence. But I didn't have time to explain my point fully as we needed to end the discussion.

    In the end, nobody convinced anybody of anything. I didn't expect the results to be any different, so everything went as expected (although I didn't expect we would even have that discussion but aside from that...) But anyway, these two elders are fine with my disagreements because I've never been baptized. When it comes to the two other elders, we'll see. One elder said he's going to send me an e-mail, and that he is going to send me a link to an article written by the Watchtower. I'll probably find it highly objectionable (the argumentation in the article, that is.) The other elder wants to meet for a coffee and have an actual discussion. We'll see how it goes. Either way, even if I will be shunned by anyone, even my family, I don't care. This is why I'm doing this. I don't have anything to lose by having those discussions with them. I know my sister won't shun me because she's an unbeliever herself. When it comes to my non-JW family who are sympathizers of JWs, I don't have a relationship with them which would be that close. So I'm not risking anything really.

    Edit: Elder "D" even acknowledged that "I have it all figured out." Based on that, he came to the conclusion that further discussions won't be necessary. This is kind of too bad, but I didn't expect anything else. He is convinced he has the truth, so he doesn't see a point in discussing our disagreements. He also sees that my objections are entirely reasonable, so he knows it's beyond his ability to convince me. But whatever. I don't care.

  • kairos
    kairos

    Sometimes just explaining your position can help you to heal.

    Just the fact that JWs will shun if you say the wrong words is proof enough that they are not worth your time, no matter the consequences.

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