Will Be Talking to the Elders Soon (page 2)

scratchme1010

The only thing that can come out of this? My family may begin to shun me, but as I said, they're not baptised or anything, they're only studying the Bible, so this conclusion doesn't necessarily follow from the premises. It's just a mere possibility.

I think that you are a very bright person. Seems like you know exactly what to expect, based on their typical behaviors and practices. That's great.

Based on that, he came to the conclusion that further discussions won't be necessary.

That takes care of their job. From day one they have not mentioned a single shred of interest in you as a person. Seems like the conversation was all about your thought, but none about if you were ok during the time they didn't know about you.

I have the feeling that they just "checked the box" with you. That should be fine (in my opinion) for all practical purposes. The issue here may be your relationship with your family.

I know that you are handling all the logical, philosophical and knowledge-based discussions beautifully. HOWEVER, if I may suggest something, with family, that kind of conversations alone (not saying that they should not happen) may not help them maintain a relationship with you. If you want them not to shun you, there may be more to do than just reasoning about your reasons not to be a JW.

Capitalize on the fact that the elders and nobody in the congregation bother inquiring about how you are doing all this time until they requested it. Mention that the elders left you and have no interest in seeing you again because "I have it all figured out." In other words, sine the investment here is not doctrine only, but also your relationship with loved ones, please talk about feelings and feeling-related things.

You may get some sense in the fact that you can show them that the congregation has no interest in you as a person, nor in "saving" you, leave alone what you have to say about your and their believes.

Please keep those things in mind. They may come handy to help family make the right decision regarding your relationship with them.

Pete Zahut

This post reminds me of the time my Wife's Uncle went to Poland for the International Assembly. He said it was difficult to see the drama because no matter where you sat, you were behind a Pole. (har-har)

Anyway...I find it odd that your family members are convinced of the JW's having the truth yet they are not baptized themselves and might shun you for not continuing with the religion yourself. Perhaps you are more fearful about this than you need to be. I think since you've been gone this long, you should avoid having any contact with the elders. Be evasive and non committal with them and your family about this. No sense having to start the whole fade from scratch again.

JWdaughter

The elder stating that you "have it all figured out" was just his condesscening way of talking down to you and dismissing you because he had no rational argument to your statements. That is what my elders threw out at me, that is what my mom has over the last 35 years too.

Its a put down, not actually an acknowledgement of anything other than their inadequacy to actually HAVE A DISCUSSION with you.

tepidpoultry

You haven't been baptized so you don't have to worry about Judicial Committees or official Shunning,

Some elders may want to meet for coffee as they can count their time, it's easy service for them akin to being on a Bible StudyTM,

Don't count on making any points they'll keep dodging/shifting the focus to something else,

:0)

joe134cd

What I have found is to print a physical copy of the ARC findings. This way you can say this isn't apostate but rather a legal document that Wt has had a chance to respond too. I used this approach on a relative, and I found having something physical there meant do much more than in the electronic form.

lancelink

Whe I left the jw's my teenage son sent me the following video. I was concerned about meeting with the elders and what type of fallout there would be.

this put some things in perspective, and lightened up the situation 😉👍🏻:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9HSj-2shbqY

Will Be Talking to the Elders Soon