My Story

by Jennie 43 Replies latest social family

  • Jennie
    Jennie

    (Note from Mom -- Cruzanheart -- our Jennie, who is 9 years old, wanted very badly to join the forum, so we agreed that she could as long as she posts and reads while sitting on one of our laps, for censorship purposes! She wrote the following essay over the weekend after we had a talk with her about the circumstances surrounding her grandfather's death. She's letting me type it, but the spelling and punctuation is hers.)

    Why I HATE Suicide/Death

    I hate it because a person is killing his/her self to get rid of pain or fears or grief. And that's just stupid! Because you can just like talk to a theripist about your fears or grief. And you can just go to the docter/hospital for your pain.

    My grandpa died because he bought a gun and shot himself in the shower (he did it in the shower because he didn't want to make a lot of commoition.) He killed himself beacause of grief, and all these problems he didn't want to solve. Like gradma in the nursing home and putting her on medicade.

    I have tons of questions about Suicide. Like, Why can't it be aganst the law? or, Why did grandpa do it? Stuff like that.

    When you kill yourself your whole family is very sad. And the things you owned evreything, everything you possessed is gone, gone like the wind. Also the rest of your life has also faded away, like the color of an old painting. If your dead you can't turn back. N - E - V - E - R.

    Who would wand to be dead? Because you can just fix your problems by theripist or doctor. Not by killing yourself.

    (Then Jennie drew a picture of Suicide/Death: it's a blue heart, broken into two pieces. One piece has a black hole in it. There is a gun underneath. Pretty powerful for 9 years old, huh?)

  • El Kabong
    El Kabong

    Jennie:

    Welcome to the board. Your post is full of so much detail. Wow!!

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Oh, Jennie, I agree that suicide is awful. And your grandpa is not even around for you to tell him how much it hurt you when he did that. You must miss him very, very, very much. He is lucky to have a granddaughter that loves him as much as you.

  • Swan
    Swan

    Welcome Jennie!

    It is so good to see you post here. I am very sorry about what your grandfather did. I am sorry for the pain you have because of this. You obviously miss your grandfather very much. If he thought about how much pain he would cause you by doing this he would have stopped. He just didn't stop and think it all through. I'm sure if he did, he wouldn't have hurt you like he did.

    Take care and best wishes.

    Tammy

  • berylblue
    berylblue

    Dearest Jenny,

    I can't begin to imagine how awful you feel. I won't pretend to be able. But your grandfather must have been feeling really awful too. People hurt themselves when the pain they are in is too much for them to handle. It is not your fault. PLEASE believe that. It is true. It is not your fault.

    I am available all week by email to [email protected] should you care to write.

    Beryl

  • berylblue
    berylblue

    Dearest Jenny,

    I can't begin to imagine how awful you feel. I won't pretend to be able. But your grandfather must have been feeling really awful too. People hurt themselves when the pain they are in is too much for them to handle. It is not your fault. PLEASE believe that. It is true. It is not your fault.

    I am available all week by email to [email protected] should you care to write.

    Beryl

  • nowisee
    nowisee

    hi jennie,

    i am so glad you wanted to be here to join us. i don't think there are very many people your age here, so i guess that makes you very special.

    im so sorry about your grandfather. it just doesn't seem right and it doesn't seem fair that this should happen to your family. i really know exactly how you feel because someone in my family committed suicide too. what happened with me is that, even though we were all really sad and angry, we all pulled together and tried to remember all the good times and all the good things about that person. we know that the person didn't try to hurt us, they were just very sad.

    with you, im just so happy for you that your parents love you so much. i know you can count on them to get you through this, and after a while things will be better. and don't forget, you have a lot of friends here too if you need to talk.

    best wishes, jennie. we're thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs.

    nowisee

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    I just wanted to say up front, right at the start, that Nina and I talked about letting Jennie come on to the board only after it was clear to us that she had a great deal of unresolved feelings about her grandpa's death. She was, and is, having trouble verbalizing those feelings. So we have encouraged her to express herself through writing and art.

    After much discussion we agreed to let Jennie post her only on the condition that (1) she MUST be sitting on our lap at all times; (2) we will read the thread BEFORE she does (so as to screen any problems that might come up); and (3) she must let us read what she is going to post before she types it in.

    Also we have told her that she is not allowed to read or post on another thread, unless we have screened it first.

    Thank you all for being so nice to Jennie. We are hoping this helps her deal with some pretty big feelings.

    Chris

  • cruzanheart
    cruzanheart

    Ditto. She's in bed now but we will make sure she reads all of your posts tomorrow. Thanks, y'all. You have made my journey and Big Tex's a lot easier, and we look forward to Jennie having the same encouragement.

    Love to all,

    Nina

  • Prisca
    Prisca

    (((((((Jennie)))))))

    I'm sorry that you are feeling bad about your grandfather's death. My auntie committed suicide when I was a teenager. It hurt our family a real lot, and I wish she hadn't done it. She was feeling depressed, and so she drowned herself.

    When you are feeling down about your grandfather's death, or anything else, be sure to talk to your Mum and Dad about it. They are great people, and no one cares more about you than them. You are lucky to have such great parents.

    Take care Jennie, and I hope you feel better soon.

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