by Englishman 25 Replies latest jw friends
Great post, Eman.
I came here because I was in pain, told my story -- and was promptly swamped with love and affection. I've made some great friends here (though we may never, ever meet ) and, yes, it started off as rehab but, like you, I've grown to love the "family".
This a great place to hang out - and to stay.
Dansk
I think this place is a little bit of everything. I , basically enjoy it here. I enjoy people's thoughts and perspectiives. You can be sharpened by some of the discussion. Even for some of the topics that I might not care too much about, it's a great outlet to just hang out and relax. As in any "rehab" place, there's your angry ones and depressed ones that keep the place hopping. Whether we think it or not, it's all very therapeutic. Even for those that have "moved on", it's a place I'll bet that is visited, more than we know.
Hey E-man,like you,I`m here because I like it here..As far as rehab,can you be cured of washing turkeys in the toilet?.....OUTLAW
Betty Ford won't you be my Valentine? *LOL* I think I actually agree w/mini on this one.....Sometimes when I have to deal w/JWland I'm glad you are all here....It helps me not strangle any cat, human, gecko, hedgehog, or other living thing that lies in my wake..Then most of the time I just enjoy chatting w/you all and making new friends...of which I can say I have added over a hundred people to the list of those I would consider my friends. Have a good day everyone..
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
I think this site is definitely helpful. People in the Truth do not know how we feel inside because they think we are doomed and evil. People, as hard at they may try, in the world have no idea how we feel, because they have never been in our shoes and cannot possibly understand. We understand each other and each other's feelings. That is important. I liked what Matty said about walking into a pub or coffee house and announcing that you are leaving. That would be rude and I think the same goes here, most of the time if someone does feel the need to move on, it is better not to tell everyone that they are not needed any longer. I think we have all felt enought rejection in our lives and do not need to feel it here. I think this could be a nice place to make understanding friends.
I'm very fond of the site too. In fact, when some people decided to criticise this site unfairly in my view, I posted this statement on that site:
What tit'ses me off is this. This is my chosen site, so it makes me annoyed when others choose to rubbish it generally, because, in so doing, they rubbish me too.
To my amusement, one rather unusual person has picked up on this, and even uses it as her signature, which is a most wonderful compliment indeed.
Englishman.
I come here because I like it here, too. And there's always the off-chance that I will have the opportunity to help someone get out of the Borg. And that's always a happy feeling for me when I think I've contributed to someone's understanding that the Borg is a cult and give them all the reasons why they should get out.
I also like tweaking the JWs nose, those that hang out here. And we know this site is monitored. There is always the chance that the monitors will get the truth about da troof and bug out from it themselves.
Besides, I always did like taking on Goliath and winning.
francois
Englishman,
Thanks for this opening this excellent thread. I am grateful for this forum. Thanks, Simon and thanks to all of you! Here is what it has meant to me.
I became active on this site about six months after Simon started it. I had left the WT for about a year and a half at the time, after having been raised in it. I am in my mid forties. My wife (PuppyLove) actually found the site and began posting before I did. We left the Borg at the same time, but other than each other, we had no one else to help us with (what we would learn to be) the enormous adjustment to leaving a cult. This forum was my only family of persons who could relate to what I was going through and provide the encouragement and support that I desperately needed. So, for me, it was definitely an outreach or support group. I still had much to learn, as my early posts make so obvious, but I did learn from many here, who were mostly very patient with me.
There did come a time when I felt I needed to wean myself off of this forum and try to begin living my life for the first time. I believe that was the right decision for me at the time. I wanted to direct my focus forward and stop looking back at where I came from. I wanted to allow myself complete freedom to join the living. I knew that I personally could not do that and still spend hours after work at the computer.
I did often wish that I could personally meet many of those who post here on the chance that the online friendships might become corporeal, if you will. It is a strange experience to feel so close to persons that one has never personally met. In some ways I believe it is an advantage for those seeking a support group. One need not worry about any prejudice or potential rejection by others, on any basis other than the thoughts one chooses to express. There is a great freedom in that for many people. For me, however, it felt very limiting. I longed for new friendships and asscoiation. For me, that includes looking into someone's eyes and feeling the unspoken thoughts just as clearly as the words. Feeling the reassurance of a smile or the validation of a tear in their eyes when relating something very tender and personal.
Although I haven't found as much connection with others as I would like, the time away from the forum (or the nest) has allowed me to grow in some important ways. Maybe it is also just a matter of allowing enough time for the healing.
I now find myself attracted to visiting here again. I am sure that is at least partly loneliness and a desire to connect with others. It feels different now though. Much more about friendship and sharing, with nothing to prove and no desire to debate anything. I feel much more whole now than at first.
I have enjoyed reading many of the threads in the last few days. Feels good to be back.
O wise Englishman! I guess that I benefited from this forum indirectly through my wife's participation. Now I am here, and I think that I as well as others can benefit when we freely share thoughts and expressions. Whatever stage of recovery we deem ourselves to be in really doesn't matter as much as the fact that we are accepting control of our own lives and trying to make the most of it.
I have to agree with your inital post E-man. This was at first very theraputic for me as I had noone that understood me and the situation I was facing. I have gotten rid of my j-dub hangups now yet I still continue to post here. Why? Because, as you said, I have come to really care about alot of the posters here. Not only that but if someone can benefit from the hell I was put through, if it helps just one lurker to decide not to attend meetings, it was worth it.
PFC District Overbeer
