Stranger in my own house, Since my wife and i don't talk much anymore nor sleep in the same bed. i feel like a stranger. (page 3)

cognac

Holy crap... The 17 year old is even fully in?

LV101

I abhor this cult and so sorry for what you're having to deal with.

I have to say I've read of the most caring and loving husbands/fathers (wives, also) on this site and many have endured so much to keep their wives and families intact. It's quite impressive. The cult should be ashamed.

zebulon

Hey, I know your pain.

PM me if u want to talk on the phone. I will tell u my detailed story. In short, I am in a custody battle right now. Talking with Bill Bowen, Dan Anderson, expert parental alienation psycologists, Freedom of Minds, etc.

My hindsight can be your benefit

Z

leaving_quietly

Your first paragraph described my situation almost exactly. After months of shunning by my wife, at least she's being cordial to me now, but I don't expect it to last. We can't talk about anything anymore because almost everything revolves around the religion, and that's a taboo topic now. Her choice, not mine. Your wife may come around. Maybe not. Best to have an exit plan if you don't already.

LisaRose

Have you considered counseling? If not with the two of you, then by yourself. You need to improve the communication between the two of you. If you love her, then you should fight for your marriage. The bible says that a wife should stay with her unbelieving mate. She can't have it both ways, either she is a good JW and obeys all the scriptures, or she isn't a good JW in which case she has no reason to shun you. Of course you cannot force her to love you, but the way you are right now is no way to live, you both need to figure this out one way or another.

Crazyguy

Have you thought about showing her the awake about one should be able to practice thier beliefs with out loosing Family something to that effect?

Bill Covert

Crazyguy Said some good stuff, play the game. You are going through the situtation at a time when there is great change going on with in the church. The molestation issue has people very nervious, it will work for your long term good.

HeyThere

I can relate to you in so many ways...except I'm the wife in the situation. My husband was basically born in, but not active when we met and married a couple years ago he started going back and full in. When I started questioning he freaked out on me and shunned me. I finally had to put my foot down, and I ended up telling him to move out several months ago and told him I wasn't going to live that way. He cleaned up his act real quick, we don't talk religion really anymore.

I still don't know how our relationship will end up. But it is so hard being in this situation. I am so sorry you are dealing with the cult spouse. It's life draining. If you want more details or just to vent etc.about the special kind of crazy just message me.

Vanderhoven7

Are the kids sympathetic to your plight? How old are they? Are they baptized?

I would get back to my bed...and if she wants to sleep on the couch that is up to her.... and knowing you love her, I would begin reverse shunning immediately. Don't leave her; be patient; pray and trust God to act. Help wake her up.

Heartsafire

Sorry to hear you are going through this. My husband sleeps in the other room as well. He started doing this many months ago (I've lost count) when I was waking up and stupidly confronting him with questions that freaked him out. At first, it was really bad. He was super confrontational and treated me like scum. But I have countered all his hostility with love, patience, and attention. I always say I am having doubts about the org, but I will never doubt that I love him and want to be his wife. I tell him this everyday, and I work hard to prove it. My beliefs about the org have changed, and in a JW household that shifts the entire family dynamic. It will take him time to adjust and come to terms with it.

What your wife is doing to you through this ongoing silent treatment is bordering emotional abuse. (My husband has done this to me in the past as well). She is substituting her relationship with you with the org. I have seen sisters do this quite often--it's like an emotional affair--when everyone knows their marriage is on the rocks yet they insist on spending all their time in the ministry all day, everyday instead of at home working on their marriage (happens with brothers too, sadly). My advice to you is to live fully in your own home--don't confine yourself to your room. Be as loving as you can without confrontation, and keep that olive branch extended. If she is willing to go to counseling with you, I would sign up for it tomorrow. The first thing she will have to do is break her silence with you and actually work on the marriage. My heart goes out to you because she is so blind that she has someone who loves her as much as you do. You deserve to have this unconditional love in return. Good luck my friend.

Stranger in my own house, Since my wife and i don't talk much anymore nor sleep in the same bed. i feel like a stranger.

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