JWs and Education

by cognac 26 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Pete Zahut

  Oh....she's only six, I can't imagine how behind she could be, they are only getting started at that age.

  The early hours do seem a bit excessive, you don't want to turn her against learning.

  Kids need their sleep to do well at school.

  At the same time, you do hear about the rigorous schedules of Chinese kids and what they're able to accomplish.

  I'd examine my motives to see if I was on the right track with her.

  Is she really behind or are you afraid that she's behind?

  Was she concerned or did she ask for help?
  

  Could you be overdoing it because of your JW experience with education?

  Are her accomplishments directly tied to your feelings of worth as a parent?

  You can teach kids casually in non structured sessions and include the 3 year old. Teaching someone else is a good way to reaffirm what you know yourself.You could have the 6 year old teach the three year old what she knows and listen in.

  I'd definitely get some professional advice and do some research. It would be easy for a well meaning parent to go overboard.
  
• 

  cognac

  Thank you Dune. She's good with sounds (except for th, wh, etc, alphabet and numbers.)

  Last week I thought she was doing great in addition, until she got questions like, "5+_=10".

  Learning lesson for me in how to deal with her homework better...

  Her spelling test had, "what, with, you, your, then" things that you couldn't just sound out...

  I really should have worked harder with her over the summer... Ugh...
• 

  cognac

  
  

  Hi Pete, to answer your questions:

  
  

  Pete Zahut5 minutes ago

  Is she really behind or are you afraid that she's behind?

  Yes, she got a 20 on her spelling test and a 44 on her math test last week.

  Was she concerned or did she ask for help?

  The teacher had me sign her tests. I take that as the teacher was concerned, and rightfully so.

  Could you be overdoing it because of your JW experience with education?

  Yes

  Are her accomplishments directly tied to your feelings of worth as a parent?

  If she doesn't do well in school, I take it very hard, even personally. So, in this particular situation, yes. I say that because when she doesn't do well I feel like I've failed her as a mom.
• 

  LostGeneration

  You could be overdoing it, but only you will know after watching her for a week or two.

  You're giving her a boost right now, think of it as temporary as it probably will be. Agree with the idea of getting her to the point where she is equal to her peers and she will enjoy the day a lot more.

  You're a good Mom!
• 

  cognac

  Awwwww, thank you lost!
• 

  Sabin

  Cognac, Has she had her eyes tested, hearing test? they would be my thought. Then see what personality type she is, creative/academic. Believe me I got a girl in her 20`s still writes like a 5yr old but can put a wedding dress together with no pattern & another who was top at everything academically came out of school with an UAI of 90 when the average is 60, but hells bells I don't want her to make me a cup of tea it`s not just that it tastes crap, it`s the mess she makes as well. My point is kid`s are different, got their own unique talents let her teach you what hers are then go that way. The key here is help her be happy with her achievements, that's what I`d be concentrating on. Outer confidence is all well & good but if it`s not tempered with inner then she will struggle no matter how well she does because she will be doing it to make you or others proud & not for herself. You can put this in to place even now by saying things when she shows you her work like " are you happy/pleased with your work?' if she says yes then you say " that's what matters, as long as your happy then so am I" You could also look at something like Montessori that is an excellent way to teach there are activities that you can do to help her hand eye co-ordination & get both sides of her brain active. Games, drawing & cooking, sewing ,clay, cutting & gluing, tracing all these things are probably more important at her age to learning then sitting down copying letters & numbers. Children are amazing if you stop trying to mould them into what you want them to be & let them show you what they can be. Don't panic if her behaviour is good then you are one step ahead of a lot of parents.
• 

  chicken little

  How wonderful that you are so concerned for your little girl. Your love and care for her shines through and you do not want her to be at a disadvantage with a learning problem. I would suggest though that you have a proper evaluation of where the problem lies. Get an expert opinion, do not just go on your own observation.

  My daughter had learning problems and I wish we had sought help sooner. The main areas of concern were in coordination, left, right etc. All related back to difficult birth with poor functioning placenta. She could not manage more than one instruction at a time and having a mess around her could send her into a meltdown as she could not see an end to the mess. Even today at 29 she processes things in a different way than most people but she is successful and a parent herself now.

  Try not to make her feel she has to please you to do well, that is a fast track to low self confidence in the long run.

  All the best to you, you are a good mum.
• 

  Mary J Blige

  Cognac - my humble opinion is that it is impossible for you to fail your daughter.

  Agree with Sabin. Eye and ear test. My son didn't actually speak until he was 5 because apparently "he just didn't want to". The best thing about having all those tests done was that it proved my son wasn't incapable. He baffled 'them' all and now he's a successful career man in the visual digi arts. Another good thing for the testing was I didn't feel like I had failed him somehow as a parent.

  Don't give yourself a hard time. Who knows what amazing, gifted talent your Ava has that she hasn't exhibited yet. Go with the flow and if you sense stifling, back off. Not everyone needs academia to make a success of life :)
• 

  SecretSlaveClass

  Simple answer whcih I suspect you already know - ignore anyone giving you advice contrary to her education and what you know is best for her benefit. She is YOUR daughter and YOUR responsibility. When she is older she will hold you accountable in your failings while all those who had the "better" advice will sit back and judge you nonetheless, had you followed their advice.
• 

  rebelfighter

  Are you in the US? If yes, the school must test your daughter for learning disabilities you may have to fight for it depending on your jurisdiction. It is covered under the Federal Law. My daughter, I thought was reading to me before kindergarten because I read to her all the time. When I got the call from school that she could not read a single word in second grade I thought they had the wrong parent. She had been memorizing what I had read to her. It turned out she had extensive learning disabilities across the board. I am telling you this because early intervention IS important and YOU are spot on to react now. As I write this my daughter is in her final semester, on the dean's list, full academic scholarship of a teaching degree for hearing impaired education. She will start her career as a teacher in January. It was a long hard struggle of tutors and special help but neither of us regret a minute of it.

  She is 24 and we both laugh today because I am a financial accountant and back when she was 6 months from graduating from high school with all kinds of honors, top of her class after completing calculas and all the other math classes, I actually lost my temper in a meeting with the principal and school counselor. All I said was "how can you possibly graduate someone with all these honors who has NO clue how to count MONEY?" Boy did I get a deer in headlights look.

  Learning disabilities can be overcome with the proper techniques, you just need to get the right people with the correct knowledge on board to help.